Strong Enough

He left me. And now
Now I'm all alone.

My soul is empty,
My heart is gone.
I don't feel anything at all.

He took my heart that day.
That day he left, he took it with him. And now
Now they're both gone.

I took a break-
A break from boys, my friends, my family,
A break from me, myself, and I.
I took a break, but not intentionally.
I just wanted to leave it all behind.

Not him behind.
Never him behind.
I couldn't stand the thought,
The thought of leaving him behind.
He's all I want, all I need.
He's my everything.

But if...
If he had stayed
Things wouldn't be the same now.

And I,
I wouldn't be the same now.

He left me,
Yes.
He left me here to die.
He said he didn't need me, didn't want me,
Didn't care enough.

It may be true,
But it hurt.

It hurt me, my family, my friends.
My school, my work
(All that hard work) is hurt.
It's gone.
Just like him.

But now,
I don't know why,
But now,
I'm awake again.

For the first time
In a long time, I'm alive.
I don't know why or what,
But I'm alive.

I see the world through new eyes.

They're darker, more peculiar.
It's strange seeing the old world
In a new light.
In this heavy light.

And then, I stopped to think.

To think about if...

If he had been here,
What would I have done?

When they had taken me,
Taken what little was left,
What would I have done?

'Nothing,'
The voice inside me says.

I would have waited.
He would have come.
He would have saved me.

But if...
If he had saved me,
I wouldn't be the same now.

If he had saved me,
He would have been stronger;
I would have stayed the same.
I would have stayed weaker.

If he had saved me,
I wouldn't have fought.
I wouldn't have known.
I wouldn't have seen.
I wouldn't have felt

All those things that are never meant to be,
But are.

If he had saved me,
I never would have realized that
I am
STRONG
ENOUGH.