Humans and Violence

Chapter 1.

Brand new Friend

If I  look at other people surrounding me I just can't decide. Shall I hate them? Laugh at them? Or show my sympathy for wasting their only life. I'm not able to get along with most persons because
to my mind they live a ridiculous way of life and waste it with dreams of prosperity, dreams of having sex with any person you are not married with. I don't think that you can find the true love or the best friendship. Nobody is ever able to get to know everyone on this planet so how should you know that you met the one?
Sometimes you think so and of course you are glad to see some light at the end of the tunnel. A new friend can change everything. Just hope that it changes in the right direction.
I was 23 years old when I had a chance. It was like hitting the jackpot after I spend about 15 years trying to find someone I connect with even without talking. We met by accident like in this crappy movies where a guy crashes into a girl and everything she was carrying falls on the ground so that the handsome guy can help picking it up again until they accidentally touch each other following by looking in each other's eyes deeply and fall in love instantly and so on. Very realistic!  I cross a huge station on my way to the university and the people there crash with someone every second but instead of kindness you see ignorance in their faces mixed with the expression of needing a shower cause everybody you don't know stinks.   
Nevertheless I ran into this dark-skinned guy who could spend the night walking around naked without being seen except of his eyes. The crash happened next to a quite calm street in a village on the pedestrian crossing. It was that kind of street where you heard more of the environment than of the actual traffic. That kind of street where people dreamt of living at and getting children so that they could be sure their children would make it to school safely. Beautiful houses with beautiful gardens which always tried to overtop the neighbours' one blocked the view on the left and the right side. Everybody was hiding inside their houses maybe they were that kind of people who wouldn't expect a dark-skinned guy running around there.
Before the crash I was buying some weed from my dealer because it was one of those days with beautiful sunny whether, singing birds and a mood of just hanging around smoking weed and play the guitar. A decent, calm wind took care of making the hot sun bearable and made the trees jam with the birds. My ambition of the day was getting high and making some great music; mostly it's my ambition of every day...especially the first part.
So I walked back home with my new stuff and was singing some kind of melody inside of my head which mixed my walking with the rhythm and created something between walking and dancing. I was really looking forward to smoke the first joint and my mind was already there so I was completely out of awareness. I was just about checking the amount of the weed so I put my hand in the corresponding pocket. While my eyes were looking at my pocket and I tried to achieve a slight look at the weed without making it too visible for the public I suddenly felt a remarkable resistance and our heads hit against each other. The melody immediately stopped like ripping off the needle of a phonograph and because of the shock I lost my package of weed. I don't know exactly the reason why he didn't notice me but he mentioned something like he was dreaming or passing away with his mind ...pretty the same reason. Both of us were touching our heads and then we looked at each other's eyes. This moment determines the following scenarios...          

Scenario A(the usual one):
Quick and simple. You just look at him with a faint but sufficient smile and tell him that you are so sorry of course the other one tells the same because it was the fault of both of you. Then you squeeze out a small but embarrassing kind of laugh and go ahead. You better not talk to him because maybe he is a lonely, sad person who wants to kill himself and having a chat with him could change his mind.
Scenario B(Disco Rules):
I put this one on the second place cause I like stupid stereotypes. You know the situation and you probably know that this scenario makes as much sense as believing in some kind of infallible and immortal being and give him a stupid name, like ...let's see.....GOD or something like that, with the aim of spending the rest of eternity after death playing funny games with GOD but just if you have lived a perfect good and honest life and you even needn't take it too serious because if you accidentally make a mistake like fucking a 12 year old dead female body of your recent murder victim you just have to confess and everything is fine again and of course to explain all the evil you have to invent an opponent which is also immortal where all the bad guys go to, even the gay ones, the potheads, almost every scientist and much worse people.
In this particular scenario both participants are mostly drunk and everyone else too. So after they crash both of them think it was the other one's fault and each one blames each other, of course they don't understand how this could accidentally happen under this circumstances. After some pushing around and telling of whose mother stinks the most they come to the best solution:
To go outside and beat the crap out of each other. Great decision! Ten minutes later you'll find two drunken guys outside hugging and puking on each other's back combined with a little dance. Wait another two days and you'll find yourself on youtube.
Scenario C(the best one):
In this one you meet someone you like to start a friendship or partnership with or in a more pathetic case you are so lonely that you ran into a hot girl on purpose to feel her boobs for a second.

I think I don't have to mention that scenario C was the one happening. The first view and impression of another person is very important. At that day I looked like some kind of hippie or gypsy with medium long blond hair covering the left eye , black Blues Brothers sunglasses which are so dark that you can't see through them into the eyes, I had a small beard not really in shape and I was wearing a brown cap, dirty jeans held by a black belt, red shoes which seemed to collapse by any time and a black thin long sleeve shirt. His look was just that kind you would expect in a reggae band hitting the keyboard or something else. A new friendship bases on things both have in common and in this case it was the weed. You probably know that weed connects a lot of people but not really cause they are friends as long as both of them have enough weed otherwise they are waiting for weed doing nothing than complaining about how much they miss the weed. Not much time passed until he noticed the weed fallen on the ground and he just said to me:”You lost something”smiling in a way that reveals enough. “Yeah”, I said and asked:”Wanna smoke a doobie??” He agreed with a nod and his smile begin to grow a little. At this point I changed my direction and accompanied him. Actually he had no real aim he just wanted to have a look around and search for something he could use to pass the day by. Well now he got something. While we were walking towards our destination we had a little conversation about our names, where we come from, what we are doing and so on. I told him that I love making music and playing the guitar which made him tell me that he plays the base guitar and we decided to jam some time and enjoy life. We had the same taste of music, movies and drugs so everything seemed possible for a new friendship. After we talked about the most important things a little pause followed and I looked into the sky and thought how much luck can appear from nothing and I imagined us losing our minds in some jam session. So far, I always used to play with my drummer and we made that kind of music where a base guitar is just appropriate so I passed a little away and dreamt of great music.
Somehow I was glad that he was black cause I love their voices and their sensitiveness for rhythm. Because of these advantages I sometimes wish to be black too and in addition to that they always look that cool and got something that would improve my chances at the ladies.

A sudden extremely loud noise ripped me off this beautiful place I've dreamt of like a baby that falls asleep in the warm hands of its mother and wakes up on a cold dead body. I just recognized a car driving away while I was standing there covered with blood and looking next to me into the free space that used to be filled by my former new friend which lied dead on the ground and bleeded extremely out of his head. Every colour seemed to fade away and the world turned into black and white, the birds stopped to sing and the trees stopped to jam. I was just looking at this dead body on the ground and tried to understand what happened.


Chapter 2

Part 1

Boredom

“I don't like black people...I hate them actually. These fucking niggers with their huge dicks. Have you ever seen one of them on the dance floor. I tell you if you ever see one of them on the dance floor you can be sure that he gets all the ladies. First of all they know he got a big one and second he dances like he was fucking Michael Jackson or something”, said the low-life and stopped talking for taking a long drag from his cigarette followed by a huge sip of his whiskey bottle while observing the passing smoke.”And have you ever heard one of those guys talking”,he continued,”it sounds like crap crawling out of their mouths.” His pathetic companions agreed with a dirty “Yeah!” while one of them was driving the car in a drunken style through a calm village and looked for some action. This car which looked like borrowed from a shabby 80's movie was filled with a bunch of unemployed losers who preferred to get drunk all day and force under aged boys to suck their dicks. But this day they decided to work on completing the list. “I don't think we find a black guy in this kind of area”, added an ugly looking man who shot his sun last summer after he caught him licking the pussy of a Puerto Rico beauty.  His position is on the back seat and despite of his ugliness he pathetically attempts to look cool like in a low budget gangster movie combined with disturbingly monotonous country music that came out of the radio which seemed to collapse by any time. “Damn, who's that hot chick over there”, screamed the ugly one. “Do you mean this 50 year old fat piece of white trash?”, the low-life asked. “I'm almost 50 too by some time and I wanna fuck right now and let me tell ya, these kind of girls look like shit but they fuck like they've done nothing else before so please bring the car right over there”.
Mrs.GetFucked was 45years old and on her way to visit Mr.DoesntKnow, her husband, who wouldn't care anyway cause he was dead and lied six feet under on the graveyard. She intended to bring him new Scotch which was his favourite drink over 30 years and although it was the reason  that brought him death with 40 years she poured every day half a bottle Scotch on his grave. The reason for his massive alcohol consume was maybe the look of his wife which is a mix of a bad painted hippo and a dry raisin.
The drunken driver who couldn't breathe properly tried to say something but because of his lack of oxygen he gave up before starting and pulled over to Mrs.GetFucked. The ugly one saw his chance and leaned out of the window after he miserably failed trying to form his face into a friendly shape.
“Howdy there beautiful, You need a ride?”, he offered her a seat and revealed the most unpleasant smile of the world . Lucky for him Mrs.GetFucked desperately needed a dick because of the fact that she didnn't  own much money to afford replacing her old vibrator that caused electro shocks because of its cheap construction. That's why Mrs.GetFucked decided to join the ugly one on the back seat. It didn't take much time until they began making out while they unclothed each other. The whole act was very disgusting to watch but it had this effect that you just couldn't watch away so the low-life observed them via the rear-view mirror and even forgot his desire to complete the list.
“Looks like he really got problems finding the right whole”, said the driver interrupted three times by getting some fresh air. The low-life confirmed the joke with a dirty laugh and added in a loud tone:”Don't make any mess!Got it!”
But instead of getting an answer from the ugly one he was distracted by the driver again who suddenly began to scream:”Over there!” and pointed with his finger in the accordingly direction.
“A long time ago I kidnapped a hot black chick to take revenge on fucking our women with their huge dicks. I raped her, humiliated her, beat her up and let her starve bounded at hand and foot. She hung down from the ceiling with the arms pointed in the sky and I let her hang there for a whole year, so that I could do anything I want with her.”, said the low-life with a certain scary glance in his eyes. While he got into position with his rifle he gave the order to reduce the speed and get ready to disappear in no time after the shot.
Mrs.GetFucked began to scream, not because of the shot, but because she remembers how painful it can be having a dick inside that kind of felt like doing it the first time and she got an orgasm that lasted a whole minute after the ugly one pulled out his dick covered with blood because of his aggressive way of fucking.
The low-life didn't say anything afterwards to appeal like some kind of cool gangster who is shocked by nothing. He just put away the rifle, opened the glove box and grabbed a little notepad that contained the list. He switched a few sheets and crossed out the word “NIGGER” which was the last one on the list. The list was completed.

Part 2

The List is completed

“Where do you want to exit, Mrs.GetFucked??”, asked the ugly one with a tone that lost every amount of kindness, a tone that immediately said that all interest is gone. “You can let me out near the grave yard, my husband needs his scotch”, she replied while looking out of the window cause she was still a little dizzy. The whole bunch of losers begin to laugh and the low-life said:”I don't think he will get his scotch Mrs.GetFucked, the price for the ride is about the same like a bottle of scotch so unfortunately you have to leave the bottle here or otherwise we can't leave you out which would lead us in a bad situation cause we don't want you in here anymore without being dead, got it?” After this thread Mrs.GetFucked came back to the real world and gave the bottle with a shaking hand to the low-life right before she left the car near the grave yard.
“So, what to do now??”, asked the ugly satisfied one.”Let's head for the town and look what happens...”, answered the low-life with his eyes on the road starring in emptiness.

With blood in my face I was standing in a calm village. Vanishing birds used to paint mother earth with singing their stories but Dancing Devils can't be stopped cause they got no rhythm. A Passenger headed towards me, on a white guy standing next to a dead black corpse with blood dripping from his face. I couldn't move a muscle. I forgot how. I was stunned and perceived the situation just in slow motion. It felt like taking a million decades to finish this walk towards me. He was accompanied by his dog who seemed too be still pretty young perceptible by his jumping around.
When he reached me he gave me a decent nod with a faint smile and passed on while he dragged his dog away from me. My eyes followed him starring out of a blank face made out of confusion.










Part 3

Five o'clock

At this time the city is full of people doing business, doing shopping, going to eat something, finding a sex partner or just hang around with some friends and don't know what to do. No money to do something and no job to get some money worsens the situation . Pissed by boredom you got to do things you usually wouldn't do.
Hundreds of people walked confused and disoriented through the pedestrian precinct and everybody babbled something although somehow it seemed everyone ignored everyone. This place looked like an overdose for your sense perceptions. One shop followed another and every third shop seemed to sell the same things. Many people wasted their time here buying useless trash because someone told us to stay in line with the trend otherwise you can't be able to live a happy life. So, eat my brain and teach my soul to use me as your tool. I'm glad watching you taking a shit.
Jimmy the low-life, Henry the ugly one and Gary the breathless made themselves comfortable on two benches near the pedestrian precinct. They can't find any words to shear so one of them got an idea.
Jimmy clapped his hands on his knees to signalize himself and stood up observed eagerly by his feller. Filled with anger which is clearly expressed through his face Jimmy walks straight to his new aim:A 34 year old nerdy guy called Nerd Nerdson sitting on another bench eating some chips. He wasn't that kind of guy that ate first the chips lying on top, he preferred to push his hand as deep as possible into the bag of ships to create some extra noise and grab as much chips as possible even though he should know half of them will land on his chest. Jimmy was one of those guys who weren't able to afford such luxury. This steady rushing gave his nerves the rest so he decided to have a chat with him. Five metres away from Nerd Nerdson after Jimmy took the last sip of his whiskey bottle he tried to throw it at nerdy Nerd Nerdson's head but missed him by 5 inches and caused an 5 year old boy falling on the ground with blood that left his head through a small hole. The young boy stood up screaming like hell and ran against the next tree which knocked him down again.

Nerd Nerdson always did straight A's in school and in his entirely school career he didn't miss one day. He hadn't much contact with other students so he barely got sick. In his free-time he killed orks and goblins as a Level 35 Paladin who is proud of possessing an ice sword that steals the opponents mana. Of course there was one big love in his hole life with the only girl he had ever seen naked carrying the beautiful name “Mom” who brought him the breakfast every morning since 34 years. Once he had a real good chance with a not so bad looking girl called Judy(female dark elf lvl 29) but he blew it after she caught him masturbating to a picture showing his mom.

Attracted from the noise Nerd Nerdson looked behind at the child on the ground and wasn't really aware of what was happening yet. While he turned back his head he was welcomed by Jimmy with a little slap in his face and a decisive “Hey!”out of Jimmys mouth with many spit. N3rD N3rDs0N
shrugged and you could smell the present of fear crawling out of his eyes. The bag of chips was held like a shield aiming towards Jimmy but the rest of his body looked cowardly cramped.  Not much space was left between them while Jimmy looked down to Nerd and educated him how to eat chips properly with a voice used in the army. Unfortunately Nerd Nerdson didn't follow his speech because he had never been to such an situation and was pumped with adrenalin. His pulse was alarmingly high and his breath was flat and fast. He barely could squeeze out a very high sounding “What?!” To his dislike Jimmy had to experience that Nerd didn't listen. There was one thing that Jimmy hated more than nerdy chip eating mother-lovers. Repeating himself. Sometimes he was in the condition to jump over his shadow but in this case he decided not to do it but to grab Nerdy's head and ram his knee through the bag of chips against Nerd's nose which caused a sound like breaking some thin wood. The blood floating down Nerd's face created a river that ended in a small lake on his chest and made him clear that this guy was no easy going.

Not really sure what to do I tumbled aimless in a random direction followed by my own shadow which somehow looked different. Like a stranger who knew always your next step. The Mask was hiding me. Try the easy way and kill yourself, try the hard way and die but the bird who forgot to sing will never fly.

While he tried to fill his lungs with some bloodless air he thought how to solve this test given by God to get back as soon as possible in his safe home and never leave again. “I can give you some money if you want but please, leave me alone, please!”, he bagged for not worsen his current condition with a voice formed by pure fear. “I don't want no stupid money”, Jimmy shouted totally drunk and lost any ability of articulation “I'm just bored, so hold still while I take one of your eyes.”
Jimmy's left eye didn't work any more after it became the victim of glaucoma. Threatened by a knife held by Jimmy just one inch before his left eye, Mr.Nerdson began to scream like a crowd of  pubescent girls who could catch a short look at some boy-group member's dick. This scream had the effect that a tent was built in Jimmy's pants. “Do you think I am an idiot?”, Jimmy asked Nerd. Again a confusing but wrong “What?” out of Nerd's mouth caused a punch on his broken nose. “What the...., “ Jimmy paused and looked on the ground where a little lake of pee spread in all directions “Are you peeing?”.
You probably know these situations from times when you were younger and you and your mother were on a visit at someone of your mother's friends totally bored by the annoying talk between them cause you are too young to find it interesting but there is also nothing else to do. Nerd Nerdson was nine years old so he was old enough to understand the talk his mother had with one of her friends while she visited her with him. He was standing next to his mother and listening while she mentioned that he still wet his bed every night. Very tactful! Her friend looked down at little Nerd with a view of disgust and confirmed that she heard every word with a little nod and some moaning.
It took him one year until he managed his bed problem but from this day on this problem returned even more disturbing.
“I'm not going to cut off your left eye”, Jimmy said while his other hand went in his pants where his penis set up the tent “But I always wanted to do this!” His hand stroke his dick very visible even though it happened in his pants while he rammed the knife into Nerd's left leg. But no second scream appeared just a confusing look to the knife sticking two inches in Nerd's flesh. Maybe the pain from the broken nose numbed the rest of his body. But Jimmy wanted to hear another scream so he pulled his gun and pointed it at Nerd's head and threatened to shoot. The Begging, screaming and crying began like Jimmy wished. He couldn't help resisting this arousing feeling which grew in his body so he opened his pants and began masturbating right in front of a guy who fears of dying. The end of his stinking dick aims at a terrified face full of thick red blood. After two minutes the crying, begging and screaming was stopped by a warm and sticky white fluid that hit Nerd's face and mixed with the blood.
“I'm done...You can go now” the low-life said while he put away his dick and his gun like no extraordinary cruel psycho game ever happened. He turned Nerd Nerdson his back and walked back to his friends who cheered to him.









Chapter 3

Decision

A perfect balance between going forward and going backwards is necessary. If you go too fast you'll fall, if you don't hurry up you won't wake up any more to catch up. Tomorrow is the day to make a decision. Is it worth while waiting or is it a better idea to take the emergency exit? Of course there is no way to leave the building this way without being noticed. What do you expect if you are waiting for some kind of sign that tells you where to go to reveal the answer to the biggest question ever? If you believe in something you should try to get to know everything that isn't covered by your faith.
Who is that guy? He looks kind of odd. Let's build a wall so that he can make it fall. Who is able to decide others' decisions and who is able to decide who decides others' decisions? He can't kill you cause he believes in God and he told us killing is bad. Someone decided he has the right to give us rights.
Thank you for this gift but I'd rather be more handsome so can I change it? Of course you can, here is a construction set and the according guide to suicide. Can I get a guarantee? You even get a money back guarantee. Thanks, Mom.
How are you Mr.Anderson? Not well, doctor, I broke my heart. No problem, we can fix that. Just take these pills three times a day and this one every morning right before you drink two spoonfuls of this liquid combined with this injection. Thanks, doctor.
Do you have any change left, Sir? Who said that? I can see no one. What's that? Something new. Maybe that's better than something old....I should buy that. Thanks, Sir.
It's not that pleasant as you told me Mister. Just wait! And you will see. But it hurts! I think I'm losing some blood. Don't worry, sweety, It will be over in any second and then you'll get your pony. And now just turn around. Thanks, Mister.
What should I have for dinner this evening? Hmm. Maybe I'll order one of those pizzas. But where is my telephone. Haven' used it for a while. There was no need to. 3 o'clock. I wonder what other people are doing now. I like watching TV. Any chips left? Just delight ones. What's that noise?  The neighbours are doing something but It sounds boring and monotonous. Perhaps they are doing some gymnastics otherwise I can't explain this heavy breathing. Another Saturday afternoon.
Thanks, No-one.

As I passed on through the jungle of darkness released through the shock after I witnessed a recent murder, I found myself standing in the middle of some kind of streaming of people. Everybody knew his way and nobody cared.
Covered in blood I looked at a guy who ejaculated on a bloody face of some kind of nerd with an unconscious infant in the background that lost blood out of his head. The stream went on but without me.

Written by saSH guitAR!