stone cold sober, chapter 3

3

         He got out of the car and walked around to open her door. “If we’re gonna do this,” Quinn said. “We might as well do it right”.
         Kate let him take her clammy hands as he helped her out of the car. The hollow sound of the closing door echoed in the night. She couldn’t make up her mind if she was dying of heat or fear. Her teeth began to chatter.
         Quinn let go of her hands and slid his hands to her upper arms. His eyes moved to Kate’s signature baggy sweater. “What are you wearing under this?”
         “Why?” Kate snapped with the last bit of air in her lungs. She sucked in more air like a dying fish on land.
         “Because I think you should take it off.”
         Kate wrapped her arms around her middle. She looked at her shoes as sweat began to trickle down her back.
         Quinn placed two fingers under her chin and made her look at him. “Don’t be ridiculous. I can see you’re dying in that thing.”
         Kate stared back at him. “So? Everyone has to die.”
         Quinn laughed and moved a step away. “Do you want me to kiss you or not?”
         Kate blushed profusely. Her breath came quicker as she went back to staring at her feet. A few seconds later she lifted the heavy sweater over her head to reveal a grey tank top. Kate was grateful for the long hair falling over her face, covering most of her embarrassment. She felt exposed as if she were stark naked before him.
         “Do me a favour, stop hiding yourself. You have no reason to.”
         Liar, she thought but she nodded at the ground numbly. Quinn again placed his hand under her chin and made her look up. “Close your eyes,” he said.
         When his mouth covered hers Kate felt her insides explode. Quinn tasted of gum and juice and his tongue was warm, almost like her own, but so distinctly not her own. Kate flicked her tongue against his, her arms wrapping around his neck. He groaned quietly at her response. His weight pressed her against the side of his car, but she didn’t mind being crushed by his body. When his hand moved along the side of her stomach towards her breast, Kate held her breath. There was a tug and a slow burn in her groin, but she neither knew what her body wanted nor what was expected of her.
         Quinn suddenly let go and moved away. He wore on his face a dazed expression and an insecure grin. “That was not at all how I planned this,” he hissed.
         “Oh.” Kate’s eyes stung and then tears flooded them.
         Quinn placed his hands on her shoulders, and bent his knees slightly to level his gaze with hers. “You’re getting it wrong. I liked kissing you. I’m--I’m sorry I let it get out of hand, okay?”
         She shrugged of his hands and walked around the car. Kate needed air, just enough air to catch her breath, she begged.
         “Arianne came up with a system against the heat,” she blurted out.
         “Air conditioning?” Quinn replied with a smirk. He walked around the car to Kate, his arms crossed over his chest.
         “My aunt doesn’t believe in air conditioning,” Kate rambled on. “She says it’s bad for your health. Instead we would freeze bottles of water and put them in a dish right in front of a mobile ventilator. The ice--”.
         “You’re not all bent out of shape over a little kiss, are you?” Quinn interrupted.
         Kate took a deep breath, shades of pink swishing over her face. She reached for her sweater and began putting it on when Quinn reached out to stop her.
         “I have to put it back on,” Kate mumbled as she threaded her arms into the thick cotton.
         “Tell you what,” he replied and the excitement in his voice made Kate stop. “If you stay out of that sweater while we’re here, I’ll tell you a secret.”
         Kate hesitated.
         “Come on.” Quinn grinned and held out his hand. “It’s a really good secret. It’s about you and me.”
         Kate closed her eyes and sighed before passing Quinn the sweater. She climbed up onto the hood of the car, pulled her knees to her body and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Let’s hear it.”
         When he looked away, a smile spread over Kate’s face. “Are you chickening out?” she said, not without a sense of triumph.
         Quinn slid up on the hood next to her. He rubbed his eyes with one hand before looking at her.
         “There’s no secret, is there?” Kate released her legs from their death grip and slid to the edge of the hood. She didn’t know where she was going, but she needed to get away from him. Just as she got ready to jump off, Quinn spoke.
         “All right! All right.” He turned to her. “I liked the kiss a little too much.” Kate starred at him blankly. “I really liked it--Christ, you’re going to make me spell it out, aren’t you? I was getting hard, okay? That’s it. That’s my secret. It’s also the reason why I stopped kissing you. All right?” Quinn cracked the side of his neck and looked away.
         Kate tried to make her face appear like a stone wall, but she was sure there was ecstasy written all over it. “All right,” she replied with as much boredom as she was capable of.
         They sat silently for a while, each scoping out their side of the parking lot. Their gazes were never intended to meet and they didn’t.
         “So, Kate. What do you want to do when you grow up?” Quinn asked finally, mimicking someone who sounded a little like their history teacher.
         “Don’t know. Happy?” Kate rubbed the back of her nose. She turned her body to face him. “Why do you want to be an architect?”
         “Don’t know. I guess I want to change things. Show people that architecture doesn’t always have to be linear, and tidy.” He doodled the air with his finger. “Asymmetrical chaos is what I’ll be going for.”
         “What if you get a shitty job and you have to build the same prefab over and over again?”
         Quinn thought about it for a moment, and then he smiled. “Every one of my houses will be different on the inside. I wanna see the look on people's faces when they realise they were too quick to judge the building from the outside.”
         Kate’s smile faded. “When are you leaving for Nurhaven?”
         “You mean, if I get in?”
         “I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t.” She grabbed the tips of her shoes with both hands. His face was so achingly familiar to her. “I don’t want you to.”
         Quinn laughed uncomfortably. His arms rested on his knees, his fingers idly playing with each other. He held her gaze and Kate felt her cheeks light up. She loved the attention she was getting from him, and she hated the attention she was getting from him.
         “Once,” Kate shot out, “my aunt bet me that I couldn’t eat thirty-two cupcakes while reading W. B. Yeats Collected Poetry out loud.”
         “Why did you do it?”
         “Are you serious?” Kate was stumped. “When someone lays down a dare you simply have to accept it. It’s unwritten law.”
         “I see.” Quinn leaned back on the hood with one arm to support her head. “What’s she like, your aunt?”
         “Okay, I guess. If you like hippie clothes and seventies phrases like ‘right on’ or ‘far out’.”
         “Is she ever a--you know--a parent? Discipline, rules, those terms familiar to you at all?”
         “No.” Kate smiled at her knees. “Arianne’s pretty lax when it comes to stuff like that. She thinks she’s my soul twin.”
         Quinn sat up, pulling one leg to his chest, the other dangled from the hood of the car. “And you don’t think so?”
         “I don’t really care. We’re just not the same. She’s an optimist, I’m always missing something--”
         “Optimism, maybe?” Quinn winked at her.
         Kate tried not to smile, but she couldn’t hold it in. “Arianne is day, and I’m night. Does that make more sense?”
         “Yeah,” Quinn replied. ”It sounds like you complement each other.”
         “It sounds that way, doesn’t it? In some ways we do. I guess she’s okay, I mean, she feeds me and everything.”
         “But?”
         “I don’t know.” Kate loosened the grip around her legs and gently rolled back and forth. “Everyone finds their position in life while I snuggle up with a book and my old aunt.”
         “She’s not that old. Actually she’s quite good-looking.”
         Kate watched Quinn’s profile for a few seconds before looking away.



         “I can see why you like this place,” she said, “it’s roomy.”
It was the single most desolate place Quinn could come up with. No trees, not even a bush, just reddish brown sand from here to the motorway. Then, of course, there was the old grey shopping centre. Contrary to popular opinion it did not make the view any better. Quinn felt embarrassed by his choice. Kate did not deserve this.
         He tried not to think of their kiss and tortured himself with thoughts of Sarah instead. He wondered if she was with the married guy. Kate wasn’t as curvy as Sarah but she was soft in all the right spots, he decided. Quinn looked over at her. Humidity curled the hair at her temple and he felt tempted to touch it.
         “Let’s tell each other more secrets,” Kate blurted out.
         “No, let’s not,” Quinn answered, quietly yawning at the back of his hand. He glanced over at Kate and noticed the disappointed look on her face. “All right,” he mumbled.
         “I love historic romances,” she revealed.
         “I have no idea what you’re trying to tell me.”
         Kate added both a pout as well as lowered eyelids to her revelation, turned onto her belly and held herself up on her elbows. “Colt’s hard body pressed firmly against the soft mounds of her voluptuous breast,” Kate breathed and Quinn’s eyes moved to her left forearm where he knew the scar had to be. When he couldn’t see it his gaze moved on seamlessly to her cleavage.
         “She was ready for Cole’s thrusting member--”
         “Let me stop you there,” Quinn said wiping sweat off his forehead, and with a teasing smile he added, “I bet I could keep up with Colt’s thrusting member though.”
         Kate burst out laughing. “No one can keep up with Colt’s thrusting member,” she said, out of breath.
         They stared at each other and Quinn felt tempted to kiss her again. Instead he turned to his side, one hand holding up his head, the other played with a scratch on his car’s hood. “I like pink,” he said.
         “Excuse me?”
         “My secret is that I like the colour pink. I’d even wear it if it didn’t get me beaten to a pulp. When I was younger I had a pink pyjama my mom bought me. Daniel’s was blue. They came in a set for boy-girl twins.”
         There was a smirk on Kate’s face, but when she spoke her voice was serious. “I think pink will be really trendy on straight men some day.” She stretched out next to him, balancing her body on the hood. “I also believe that men will be more groomed in the future, shaving their chests, using facial creams--”
         “Whoa,” Quinn held up one hand. “Just because I like pink doesn’t mean I’ll end up shaving my chest!”
         “That’s because you don’t have to,” Kate shot out. Her hand flew to her mouth.
         “Huh?”
         Kate burst out laughing. “I used to watch the football team shower after practice,” she said and her laughter receded to a bubbly giggle.
         Quinn rolled onto his back, his hands covering his eyes. A deep groan escaped his chest.



         Kate wondered if she should be lying or telling him trivial secrets that wouldn’t make a difference, but then she made the mistake of looking at Quinn. His face was curious, but most of all it was sincere. “My aunt is an alcoholic,” she blurted out.
         “Please tell me you’re joking.”
         Kate shook her head.
         “But she doesn’t look drunk?” Quinn added.
         “Arianne only drinks once or twice a year, for a few days straight.” Kate chewed on her thumbnail. “She doesn’t know I know. She locks herself in the study. She sleeps there, eats there, and tells me she’s working on something. Bills, usually, tax returns, stuff like that.”
         Quinn moved closer. “I’m sorry,” he said.
         If there was one thing Kate detested, it was pity-touching; the kind of hug that doesn’t happen unless someone felt sorry for her; the kind of touch which left both parties wondering how long it had to last for it to be sincere.
         “You’re turn,” Kate shot out mainly to prevent Quinn from putting his arm around her.
         “I might as well bare my soul,” Quinn mumbled. “You’ve seen everything else.” He rubbed his hands on jeaned thighs. “Let’s see...when I was eleven, I thought Martha Stewart was hot.”
         “You are such a conventionalist.” Kate said with a bored undertone. “Looking for a whore in a domestic goddess?”
         Why was this girl constantly bashing him? Not that he didn’t enjoy it, Quinn certainly didn’t have this much fun with Sarah. His mood dropped just thinking of his ex. “Where does Sarah fit in?” he asked grumpily.
         “Sarah is definitely all slut, no pretence there.”
         Quinn laughed, relieved that Kate had removed the lump from his gut. “Who turns you on?” Quinn asked back, but regretted the question before it was fully out.
         Kate looked at him intensely before slowly turning her face away. “Woody Allen.”
         Quinn choked on a laugh.
         “He’s cynical and smart, a fussy eater, like me, and he supported his wife when she decided to adopt an entire army of children. It shows how much he cares, and he’s an excellent conversationalist. What more could a girl ask for?”



         Quinn inhaled through his teeth. “I don’t know if I can spend any more time with a girl who feels turned on by Woody Allen.” He turned around and balanced his weight to get the juice from inside the car.
         “To be honest,” Quinn replied from the inside. “I don’t think Martha and I would be doing a lot of talking. You think the sex would be any good with Woody?”
         “There are more important things than sex,” Kate shot back.
         “Spoken like a true virgin.”
         He heard her sharp intake of breath and instantly regretted his last words. When he was back on the bonnet, Quinn threw her a careful smile. “What else haven’t you done?” He passed Kate the bottle and lay back against the windshield.
         “Since I’ve never been to a party, I’ve never danced with a guy.”
         “Yeah, maybe some other time.” He wasn’t getting close to Kate again. A part of him nuzzled his conscience and another begged him to kiss her. No one would know after all, and no one would believe it if they did find out. Quinn certainly wouldn’t have believed that he would spend the night on his car, exchanging secrets he had never shared with anyone. Let alone with Kate.
         He glanced at her as she crumpled up her body in insecurity. No, he simply wouldn’t kiss her again. It wouldn’t be right.
         “Your turn,” Kate said under her breath.
         “Daniel stole money from my grandmother’s cash box a couple of years ago,” Quinn said quietly. He had wanted to tell someone so badly he could taste it. “I put it back and I never told anyone. I was afraid that my brother would find out. That he would think I was not on his side.”



         Kate’s aunt once said that Quinn was only one half to begin with and that he had to reinvent himself when his twin brother died. If that was true, then Quinn had to make up a whole new evil side of himself, Kate decided.
         Even dead, Daniel Bergen made her want to throw up. She felt the urge to tell Quinn how much she hated his brother, but she didn’t. Nor did she tell him that stealing from his grandmother sounded like something his brother was capable of. He was dead, it was over.
         “I’m sure he wouldn’t have thought less of you,” Kate mumbled, avoiding Quinn’s eyes. “You covered for him, that’s what’s important.”
         “Maybe,” Quinn replied. When he was done staring at the way his fingers played with each other, he turned tired eyes to her. “Anymore secrets?”
         Kate pretended to think for a second. “I feel like an idiot,” she said quietly. “Stupid. Dumb. Hebetudinous. Dense. And no matter how much I read or learn, it never seems enough to fit in.”
         Quinn jumped off the hood. “Here you’re using words like hebetudinous and you’re trying to tell me you’re stupid?”
         “But that’s just it.” Kate shook her head. “I wish I could just leave my body, be someone else.”

Read the next chapter "stone cold sober, chapter 4"  or start at the beginning "stone cold sober, Prologue"