Water Dreams

I am standing on a wooden dock, staring out into the ocean. I had gone to sleep last night in my bed, in the middle of suburban New York. I awake to the crystal blue ocean. I am definitely dreaming.

         The dock is isolated. It stands alone, surrounded by a forest of sweet smelling flowers and bushes I can’t identify and a grove of orange trees. The path to the dock is overgrown and hard to see.

         “Mom?”

         I turn, my heart fluttering. My son Nevin stands beside me, arms crossed over his chest, his gaze fixed out into the ocean.

         I smile at him. “I’ve missed you.”

         “I know.”

         He is older than the last time I saw him. He is about fifteen, tall and sun-kissed, his dark hair long and pulled back in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His body is lithe and muscular. Dressed in nothing but Hawaiian style swim trunks, he is the picture of California cool. He is not the same pale, too thin, bald ten-year-old that died in my arms.

         “Been swimming?” I ask. The air is sweet and lazy, lulling me into a false sense of security.

         “Surfing,” he answers with a smile. I laugh. He had always loved to surf. I had taken him a couple of times when he was little, but by the end he was too weak to stand up on his own, much less hold a board.

         I study him for a while. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him I want to drink in every inch of him. I want to absorb the mole on the tip of his right ear, the creamy complexion, and the almond shaped eyes. I want him to be a part of me again. He lets me study him, unmoving, staring out at the sea. Finally, he shifts positions, signaling my time of reflection is over, and I groan inwardly. It is time to, get down to business, as they say. Nevin’s dreams aren’t just casual visits. They are filled with guidance and sometimes warnings. My smile fades.

“Why are you here?”

         He nods towards the blue ocean. “Do you see the ship out there?”

         I reluctantly tear my eyes away from my golden son and gaze out at the ocean. A large ship is on the horizon that wasn’t there earlier. It is white and green, an ocean liner by the looks of it. Probably one of those over-priced cruise ships.
         “Yes.”

         “It is called the 'Sea Emerald'. However, Jack will rename it 'Gaia'.”

         “Who is Jack?”

         A wry smile crosses his lips. “He will be the savior of humanity.”

         “Excuse me?”

         “I can’t tell you who he is because I don’t know who he is.”

         “Why are you telling me any of this at all?”

         “Because, mom, you need to know. It’s important.”

A slight breeze begins to blow. It tickles my face, plays with my hair. He turns to me suddenly.

         “You have to be on that ship, mom.”

         “Why?”

         He shivers. I can see goose bumps pimple his arms and chest. The wind suddenly picks up, whipping my hair into a frenzy around my face. It slaps the water against the dock in angry waves. The sky is suddenly filled with swollen clouds, pregnant with impending rain.

         “I can’t…” He shakes his head. “It’s imperative that you are on that ship. There’s something bad coming, mom. Something really, really bad. You have to be on that ship in order to survive.”

         I am suddenly angry. “Why are you telling me this? I don’t care about survival, especially if it means I get to be with you! I want to be with you!” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. I know I am being childish and petty. I don’t care. The only thing I care about is reaching the day I get to spend eternity with my son.

         He squeezes my upper arms gently. His green eyes are filled with compassion.

         “I know you do, mom. I know what a sacrifice this will be for you. But I need you to survive. I need you to get on board that ship.” His voice falters and darkness passes briefly over his eyes. “I need Jack to save you.”

         “Why? Why can’t I be with you?”

         “Because, it’s not time. You have work to do amongst the living before you can join me. I need you to trust me, mom.”

         I am suddenly exhausted. My son is standing before me, so wise and brave and strong. And here I am, crying and pouting like a child. I sigh and nod my head. “You promise we’ll be together soon?”

         He grins. “One day, I promise, okaa-san.”

         “You’ve been practicing your Japanese.” I say proudly.

         He nods and squeezes my arms again. “Find the boat. Find Jack.”

He begins to back away from me, out towards the chaotic waters. My stomach clenches. “You’re leaving? Don’t go!”

         He smiles hugely, his green eyes sparkling. “I love you mom! Don’t forget!”

         He turns and sprints to the end of the dock. A surfboard suddenly appears in his hands and with a giant leap he is off the dock and flying through the air. He pulls the board beneath him as a giant wave rises to meet him.

         I hear him laughing as the wave swallows the board, and my son, whole.