What is sin?

Temptation. Evildoings. Sin. What is sin? What do all those crazy Jews and Christians ramble about? This sin stuff. The stuff this Jesus guy came and “died” for us for—“saved” us for. What do we need to be saved from? This suckish world? It wouldn’t suck so much if there wasn’t so much sin. That’s what They say. They have answers for everything, don’t They? Why do we exist? To glorify God. <snort> Yeah, when I stay up late at night to groove to Lady GaGa and delve inside myself, I really am glorifying their God. I really uplift Him. Oh, and of course, How did we get here? God created everything out of nothing—which sounds like the Big Bang if you ask me. Although, read the first verse of Genesis—Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning were the heaven and the earth.” Yeah, that doesn’t answer the question. How did we get here? What? This earth was already freaking here?! How does that work? And then God breathed life into some cast mold of a dude and Adam was born? Dropped into this already existing world? I don’t understand. And Adam was even dropped into this shwanky place, this Garden of Eden. What the heck did he do to deserve paradise on earth? He glorified God. That’s what. There was no sin. The world was perfect. No temptation. No evildoings. No sin.

It makes me sick. All this sin stuff. Wrongdoings. Bad stuff. How do we know what is bad anyway? Because this book tells us?! Isn’t it outdated, old, musty, the thing to make the table level?

What is sin?

Murder. Right, yeah, everybody knows that killing someone is a crime. The government punishes you, tries to keep some sort of hold on you, makes these laws for scaring into not killing someone. Works well. That’s why there are so many lawyers. For all those nonexistent murderers, wasting away before their trial.

Besides, who cares if the government thinks that murder is a crime? They didn’t write the Bible, last time I checked. What does this book say about sin? About murder?

So, like, killing someone, that’s essentially like denying somebody the right to live, right? It’s you staring into their eyes, not giving a damn about them and pulling that trigger, or poisoning them, or blowing them up. Right? You kill someone because you don’t like them, you don’t love them? Right? What about those crazy mothers who kill their kids because they can’t stand to see them suffer through some illness? Are they killing out of love instead of out of hatred?

You know, it’s a funny thing, hatred. What is hatred? Not the polar opposite to love. Hatred is love’s older brother. They are related. You care so much about someone, you’re so obsessed with someone, that you’ve gone beyond love. You hate them. You can look them in the eye, feel that squirming, writhing beast deep within you rear its ugly head, bear its sharp, yellow teeth. You look into their eyes and think: I am better than they are. I hate them because somewhere, someone thinks/says/writes that this person, this Thing, is better than I am. But this person is wrong. I am better. What could be better than me?

You are jealous. You hate. And then you kill. You murder. Sounds like a criminal. What about those mothers? Hm? What are they jealous of? What do they hate? Those mothers are jealous of other mothers who don’t have dying children. Those mothers hate those others mothers, their children’s illnesses, their husbands, themselves. All of them. For killing their precious children. Newsflash: all of us are dying. It’s only a matter of time before we die. In fact, those that get out while they still can are the lucky ones. The world is a suckish place, yeah? Well, it’s only gonna get worse. And you’re very lucky if you don’t have to be here for that.

So now those mothers are doing their kids a favor, killing them? Oh, no. They’re still denying their children their basic human right, their God given right: the right to live. Because it’s God that made those children, all of us to begin with, right? He started with Adam, allowed us to continue. God gave us this right, and murderers take this right away, yes? The murderers are trying to outdo God. And the government punishes them—tries to—for outdoing God.

Criminals and crazy mothers have more than jealousy, hatred, and the balls to outdo God in common. God also gave them the right to live. He created them. He kept some criminals and crazy mothers from killing them, did he not? But that’s straying off the topic.

Murder. It’s a crime, we know this. It’s a sin, too. When someone is “outdoing” God, they are essentially taking over his job, yes? They are saying, hey, God, we can do this. We don’t need you. That (a) does not glorify God and (b) is denying God of judgment—and well, if you don’t know how God feels about having His right to judge taken away from Him, then you are either a criminal or a crazy mother. When you kill someone, murder them, you are saying: I hate you, I am jealous of you, I don’t think you deserve the right to live, I don’t want you to live. You are judging them and deciding their fate—all because of your selfish whims. You hate, you judge, you murder. You disappoint God, you anger God, you hurt God, you sin against Him.

Ah. So that’s sin.

But what about the other “sins” in the Bible? The Ten Commandments? No idols, no badmouthing your parents, no taking the Lord’s name in vain—well, hot damn, I do believe that these things are happening all the freaking time. There’s all this sin in the world, all the time. And since the world sucks…maybe it’s because of this sin stuff.

Uhm…Idols? Okay, well, people don’t keep little stone images under their beds—and if you do, you have other troubles. So, idols…not like Old Testament gibberish, eh? So then what?

What do you desire most? Captain Jack Sparrow’s nifty compass. What do you want most?

Hm…Fame, Money, Car, Sex, Drug, Girl/Boy, Book, Grade, House, TV show…Okay, now, TIME OUT: What is wrong with these things? Absolutely nothing. Excuse me? In moderation, these things are normal. In excessiveness, they are not normal. They are obsessions, idols, all you can think about. And if you’re thinking about these things, then you’re most definitely not thinking about God. And if you’re not thinking of God, then by golly, I don’t think you can glorify Him. Oh! Not glorifying God? It must be sin!

Okay, so, we know what sin is now, right?

Hm, yeah, I guess, so…But will it stop? The murdering, the idolizing, the badmouthing, the profanity? Hell no. It’d take a miracle. We’ve dug ourselves a freaking hole.

Uhm, excuse me, you say, I’ve never murdered anyone and probably won’t—I hate blood. I am a little obsessed with grades but only because I have to have a scholarship for Harvard…I try not to badmouth my parents. I know they love me and are only trying to do the right thing, and as to the bad word stuff, I rarely use any bad language—and when I do it’s only in writing! So, like, I’m okay, right? I don’t have to read this. I can go home?

<clears throat> Ever liked someone? Uhm, who hasn’t? Yeah, you’ve lusted. That’s a sin, too, btw. But, I’m not just gonna sit here and rattle of sins. Or how you cannot sin.

No, this rant is something a little deeper, of more weight.

Ooooh, so you mean, that this was all just an introduction to something else? Yeah, basically.

Murder. It’s about murder—which, yes, I already ranted about. But you know something? When you murder someone, you’re not just denying them their human right to live. You’re condemning their soul. Their soul resides in their human body, and when their human body expires, their soul goes bye-bye. To Heaven or Hell? That depends on you.

But you know what? That living, breathing, human being had a soul. That person could think for themselves, speak for themselves, could make conscious decisions for themselves. Shouldn’t they have a say so in their death? Well, generally the victims of a murder don’t have a say so. If the victim somehow wronged their killer, their murderer is acting out of revenge. The only say so that the victim had was to convince their killer to kill them. And if it’s a child dying from an illness, they don’t have a say so in whether they live or die anyway—but then again, none of us do. That child is completely helpless.

But what if you stopped and asked your victim—if you were, hypothetically, to kill someone—stopped and asked them if they’d like to die, if they’re ready to move on. What do you think they would say? They would mostly like plea for their lives, right? I didn’t mean to hurt you, killer. I never meant to poison your love. I never intended for those weeds to take over your lawn. And to which you would reply: two bullets in the head/chest—or poison if you’d prefer. Slightly morbid, I suppose, all this talk of killing. And the child? But I haven’t beaten Final Fantasy V yet. It’s not my fault I’m sick. You’re right. It’s God’s fault. I should kill Him instead—oh, wait, the Jews beat me to that a while back. Strangulation, smothered by a pillow with the smiling face of Thomas the Tank Engine on it. Could you kill a child? That neighbor who let his weeds seep into your yard should be hanged, right? Even though you didn’t do anything to stop the weeds. That assassin was instructed to kill your wife. It wasn’t personal, from him. You killed the wrong guy. Guess you’ll have to try again. Oh, and the other guy who hurt you, the one who accidentally smashed up your new BMW because he lost control of his little Honda sliding around on the black ice, and he gave you whiplash, yeah, that was just an accident. You gotta learn to let go and move on, too.

So what? Maybe murder isn’t the answer. Answer to what? Hopefully, we are all competent enough not to kill people for the reasons listed above. They need to have their heads checked and the space under their beds swept for stone idols if they do.

Could you kill a child? That’s a little different, right? They’re so full of innocence. They can’t truly grasp this concept of whether or not they want to live or die. They’re so self-absorbed, so into their video games. They can’t be blamed. They don’t know. But they have souls nonetheless; they aren’t less human. They’re just like you, just like me, but still innocent. And they breath.

So we reach the heart of this at last: Abortion. Yes, murder. <groan> Abortion? Why waste your breath?

We have aborted millions of pregnancies, killed millions of unborn children, murdered millions of Things. What? They aren’t breathing. They can’t think. They can’t make conscious decisions. Oh, you mean, you can’t ask them their opinion on whether or not they should live or die. They wouldn’t comprehend, you say. This is true. They aren’t even human anyway. They aren’t breathing. They aren’t born, living on this earth, which sucks anyway, so why let them live?

TIME OUT: You just made a conscious decision. You just judged a Thing. You think that a Thing shouldn’t live. You think that a Thing should be denied its basic human—oh, wait; you don’t think they’re human. They have no human rights. They don’t breathe. They aren’t human.

But they have a soul. And they are alive. Those cells that make up a Thing are growing and multiplying and changing. They are alive. They may not serve as lungs yet, or a beating heart, or even a brain. But there is life. And it’s not a soul-less life. God let that Thing be made. He gave it a soul and the cells that eventually make body parts.

TIME IN: Abortion is like smashing a spider, squashing a housefly. They’re not human. You can kill them without being punished by the government. In some states, it is illegal, but who cares? Those people are just crazy Jews and Christians spouting their sin stuff again.

Besides, sometimes abortions are completely necessary.

TIME OUT: Necessary? When is it necessary to kill? If a Thing is endangering the mother’s life, then that is a different situation. Then it’s not a conscious, selfish decision of taking a life. It’s self-preservation. That is not a sin. And what if a Thing is the result of a rape? Hm, d’you know the statistic for rape pregnancies? It’s something like 3 percent of abortions or something…That leaves 97% unaccounted for. And yes, rape is an extremely sad and horrifying and psychologically screwy thing. And if it results in pregnancy, that is even more sad. But lucky for rape victims, it hardly ever happens. And if you want to abort a rape-manifested Thing, by all means, rid the world of another sinner.

So the 97% left…That refers to all the abortions that happen because of people who think of unborn children as Things. Mere houseflies and spiders. Not-humans. Not-crime. Not-murder. Sin stuff.

You know the difference between common household insects and Things? Things have souls and the insects and arachnoids and pets don’t. Your dog didn’t have a soul. Your cat didn’t go to cat heaven. These things are for this world only. Things with souls go beyond the earth. They last into eternity—and that’s long time.

That 97% who has abortions doesn’t care about the souls of these Things. They are judging unborn Things, little lives that haven’t had a chance at this suckish world yet. Who knows? One of those Things could make a difference…but we will never know. Because you took someone else’s life into your own hands and ended it. That sounds like murder. That sounds like sin.

But women have a right to do with their body what they want to do! Ah! RoevWade! Rights, women’s rights! You know, women are naturally emotional beings. They easily grow attached to things, living and inanimate. Your sister has her favorite nail clippers—who knows why she has more than one set? Your mom has her favorite purse. You girlfriend has her favorite shoes. Your female Spanish teacher has her favorite Expo marker. I mean, we all get attached to things, but women get, almost, obsessive about it.

When a woman is pregnant, there are so many hormone levels out of whack. They cry when you tell them you got her a ham sandwich because the little café is out of turkey sandwiches. They laugh when you show her the awkwardly placed mustard stain on your pants—and then the women suddenly and angrily snipe at you for giving them more work. They are so chemically unbalanced that you don’t even know how you feel. How can you think straight if your emotions aren’t just coloring but directing your decisions? Besides, that pregnant woman is aglow with the knowledge of something living inside her. She’s attached to the little, living Thing.

TIME IN: Okay, okay, so…Teenagers. They are still young and naïve. They are impulsive, living off their wants and desires. When a girl gets pregnant, there’s no way she can successfully achieve a higher level of education. She will struggle to graduate high school, won’t have the money for college, won’t be able to get a good paying job, etc. and don’t we want our young people to be well educated and be good, law-abiding citizens? If this girl can’t get an abortion, she will only bring our society down.

TIME OUT: Young, naïve, impulsive, wanting, desiring—these indicate lack of self-control and discipline. Who’s fault? No one’s and everyone’s. Teenagers don’t have fully developed brains, true; they cannot make good, well though-out decisions. They are rash and inexperienced, true. But—their parents have obviously not kept good eyes on their teenagers, don’t care about their children, haven’t taught them self-control and discipline. The teenagers don’t have the balls to stand up to other teenagers and not give into peer pressure either. See. No one’s fault and everyone’s fault.

But you know what? If this girl is stupid enough to get pregnant in the first place, why should she go on to receive a higher education? Except pay the government more money, of course. And life after school isn’t necessarily about having a good-paying job. It’s about being able to survive, to eat, to live in the real world. You need money, yeah, but you can be a waitress and be fine. No, you may not be able to support a family—well, then don’t have one. You act like I’m keeping these problems from being solved. No. You created these problems to begin with. The fight here isn’t about solving problems. It’s about preventing them.

And if you let some teenage girl have an abortion, she will (a) be committing murder and therefore won’t be a law-abiding anything and (b) will be emotionally and psychologically scarred for life. Like being raped, having an abortion leaves an imprint on your brain that never leaves.

You walk into the office, slightly uncomfortable because everyone knows why you’re here, very nervous because everyone knows what you’re about to do. You are ushered into a small, cramped white examining room. You sit in the awkward chair, staring up at the stirrups, and you can feel the Thing inside you cowering. You swallow the lump in your throat. It’s the right thing to do. It has to be.

The doctor will come in that room, smile at you like she cares, place your ankles in the stirrups, expose you to the small white world, use this little device that creates a vacuum inside you and crush the Thing’s skull, making it easier to dig out, squishing the small brain matter out between the soft, malleable bones, squeezing the grey brain tissue through the eyes and nose. The doctor will apologize up front about any blood that may get on your clothing. Then she will take metal jaws, pry you open, and shove the jaws inside, wide and ready for the Thing inside. The jaws’ teeth will take a bite of the Thing and remove it from within you. Then they will go back for more, like a vulture, a scavenger eating his road kill meal. And when the jaws are done, and you are left bare and empty and deeply cold and trembling and in tears, will you still say it was the right to do? It has to be.

TIME IN: They say hindsight is 20-20. Well, foresight is 20-10. Preventing a sin is much easier than trying to fix, redo, undo it later. Don’t do anything unless you are prepared for the consequences.

A woman can only have an abortion if she is pregnant, right? Well, she didn’t get pregnant by reading a novel. It’s called making love, is it not? Sex. It’s not a sin. It’s not a wrongdoing. It is a miracle, lovemaking. And when you love someone enough to make love, you can manifest your love into not just a philosophical, deep feeling, but a person. A tiny person, a baby. That Thing inside a woman has a soul and is a person. It is a human. It has human rights. Don’t manifest your love into someThing that you don’t want, can’t handle, or aren’t ready for. That’s poor planning. And it results in bad consequences. It leads to abortion. And sin.

Don’t make excuses for your selfishness and idiocy. You acted and reacted. You did not think.

Why should you deserve to live?

I am almost seventeen years-old. And this is my abortion rant.