The Round Tense

As is now well known the language of Before contains a tense for reference to events that are infinite, that either have no beginning, no end, or both. Though properly referred to as the infinite tense it is popularly known as the "round tense," presumably because a circle has no beginning or end. The tense is usually formed by appending of the suffix -na, so with groonung being the season of spring, groonungna is essence of spring, spring viewed in it eternal sense. Hence groonung klintk means "this spring is cold" while groonungna klintk would mean the speaker considers it the nature of spring to be cold. The round tense is usually used for elevated or divine topics, though in a moment of exasperation a vulgar Forman might say gribakxna to refer to the neverendingness of garbage. Persons are referred to with the round tense only in the most formal of occasions such as weddings, trials, or challenges to single combat. At one time the King and Queen of Before were referred to only with the round tense but this practice came to an end dramatically during the reign of King Kalandazun. The King ascended to the throne at the age of twenty-five and after one-and-one-half years of rule he gave a public address to which all were invited to attend. After a lengthy introduction in which he praised the land and recounted the glorious history of Before the king stated that he wished no longer to be addressed in the round tense. In words that appear on plaques abridged in many places in Before, especially above tavern bars, he intoned, "Though none has greater love for Before than I, and I will rule with the best of my ability for as long as I shall live, I do not intend to do this job forever. Once I have passed on I thoroughly intend to enjoy myself. The people of Before are capable and strong, well able to take care of themselves and determine their own future and do not require my shepherding for all time. So henceforth I decree that when in my royal capacity I shall no longer be referred to in the infinite tense, as this is not an eternal situation." The King went on further to suggest that the people of Before consider instituting some other system of government.

This declaration was met with considerable approval in Before and inspired a great many toasts but little political activity. A committee was appointed at the University to study a system of government in which one might only become King if lacking any desire to become King, but the fundamental difficulties were never satisfactorily resolved.


--- From "The Structure Of The Language Of Before," Mason Club, 2062

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