The Birth Of Mr. Kidd

Born: Mister Sioux Euclid Kidd to Mr. Sampson Ludid Kidd and Mrs. Mary Chance Percival Kidd on March 3rd, 2128.  Baby Mister was born at a weight of six pounds, seven ounces [2.92kg] in a state of vigorous health.

                      -- The More News, March 5th, 2128.

"Thank God they got it right," Molly said.  "You had to pick the most confusing name you could think of."

"Yes, yes, wrote it all most carefully down," Sampson replied,  "I have experience with these things, you know."

"I believe you have never fathered a child before,"  Molly returned tartly.

"Experience with names, with names, unusual names.  Had one all my life.  Kept me on my toes.  Did me good, it did."

"Och!"

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Mister Kidd was born too loose.  Too loose in time and too loose in space.  During the birth -- Sampson not being present as he always fainted at the sight of blood -- the baby disappeared.  Midwife Daisy Gay figured the baby must have had a glimpse of what he was in for and returned inside, which she thought quite perceptive of such a wee chap though a bit impractical.  The baby reappeared shortly afterward, sleeping peacefully on a blue blanket.  Daisy blamed a moment of personal dizziness, severed the cord, and that was that, though afterward Daisy found the experience unsettling and downed a healthy shot of whiskey to steady her nerves.  The treatment proved so effective that another seemed indicated, then another, then Daisy forget how many she had had and had another to make sure, and by the time Daisy Gay recovered her senses the next morn she had completely forgotten the unusual incident.

Sampson and Molly were as any other couple with a happy, healthy baby.  Young Mister could be quite loud when the spirit moved him but it generally didn't and for the most part was a contented sort.  One day when Mister was four months old Molly returned to the bedroom to find the crib empty.  There ensued hullabaloo, the bedroom then the spare room, parlor, kitchen and pantry were searched, then the bedroom again, the rooms again, the pursuit spread to the grounds and as Molly was calling the police Sampson returned to the bedroom again to find Mister peacefully sleeping as usual.  "How can this be!" Molly cried.  Her husband was at loss.  The bedroom was on the second story, though the windows unlocked the rosebushes below seemed to preclude possible entry.  "Say something!" Molly demanded.

"Uh..."

"Is that all you have to say?  Then do something!"

The windows were locked and a strict policy initiated that they remain so outside the presence of a responsible adult.  The bars of the crib were reinforced with metal and an airy barred wooden lid added, though this hardly seemed necessary because Mister could not yet lift his head, much less stand.  While it was not clear anything had changed, something doubtless had been done.  Sampson resolved to get new eyeglasses, though his current pair was rather old and had wanted to do that anyway.

Three months passed without incident.  One evening Sampson was in the parlor armchair with The More News and Molly baking a ham when she went to discover the crib empty.  This time baby Mister was found asleep in the pantry.  "This is impossible," Sampson said.

"We both saw it," Molly returned, "So if you're so smart then it wouldn't have happened."

Sampson never argued with irrefutable logic.  He affixed a hasp to the crib and resolved on a padlock in the morning.  Molly bought attractive chains -- silver for herself and a handsome bronze for Sampson -- with which the keys were carried around the neck.  Predictably the incidents did not end.  "I can't go on living this way," Molly declared.  Sampson was uneasy himself.  Not knowing what else to do the worried parents took the baby to a noted doctor at the University of More.  The doctor saw the baby as entirely healthy -- Mister took this as the occasion of one of his rare fits of very loud bawling -- noted that the parents seemed quite anxious, and gently hinted that the couple seek therapy.  Molly wanted to go but Sampson declared that the Kidds had always had vigorous health and that was that.  Nevertheless, something had to be done.

Sampson Kidd passed a signboard every day on the way to work at the dentist’s office and the sign read



Palms Read

Talk With The Spirits

Know The Future And The Past

Madam Time

Reasonable Rates

Ask About Our Belly Dance



That looked good to Sampson so the Kidds went off on a visit to Madam Time.  Madam Time also declared the boy healthy and informed the Kidds that Mister had been visiting the land of spirits.  “An unusual child, a most unusual child,” she murmured hypnotically, “so at home, so at home in the Beyond that he is visiting, visiting there.  No harm, no harm comes to him, hmm?”  She smiled calmly.  The Kidds said yes,  the boy was never harmed.  “He is happy in his home, hmmm, yes, hmmm?”  Yes, it was a happy family, with the exception of the disturbance of these strange disappearances.  “Hmmm, you are worried is the boy safe, is he safe with the spirits.  I shall seek council with the sages of the spirits, is he safe, is he safe, yes..  Silence, silence, please” and she spread her red head scarf away from her neck and placed her hands both above and to either side of the crystal ball, palms toward the core.  Some time passed, then Madame Time shook herself a bit as if warding off sleep and lowered her hands to her lap.  “Safe he is and safe he shall be,” she murmured, “no harm shall come to him.  Show gentleness, you need not worry, treat the boy with love and kindness,” and she lowered her voice even more, “please help the other children not to find him strange.”  All four sat in silence for a while, except for Mister who wriggled and gurgled a bit, then Sampson and Molly thanked Madam Time, paid her reasonable fee, and returned home.

A few months later Mister Kidd disappeared from his crib again and returned red with a sunburn, even though it had been cold, cloudy, and rainy all day.  He cried and whimpered a bit but after a while was in his usual health.  Aside from the sunburn nothing bad ever seemed to happen, so his parents more or less became accustomed to it all.  Mister Kidd grew and learned to creep, then crawl, then walk.  He skinned his knee or fell on his face like other babies.  Every now and then his parents couldn’t find him, then he would show up again.  One day while Molly Kidd was darning a sock in the drawing room she happened to see Mister Kidd disappear from the divan.  One moment the baby was there and the next he wasn’t.  But by then Molly wasn’t much surprised, it was a relief to be certain Mister wasn’t being kidnapped by brownies or ruffians.  Both Molly and Sampson grew accustomed to having Mister disappear for a few minutes.  Mister never seemed to disappear for hours any more, though sometimes when he came back he was so dirty that it seemed he must have been away for a long time.  Once Mister learned to talk he told his parents of what he had been up to, but it was so mixed up with fantasy – “and then I saw a dragon, and he burnt me all up, but then I beat him up and he was really sorry” – that it was no use trying to figure out what had actually happened.  Once Mister told his dad “I was away in a desert for weeks and weeks, it was so hot and there was no food and no water,” but Mister had been in the front seat of the car the entire time on a trip to Dingle Pond, seemed no worse for wear and maintained his customary  aversion to bathing once they got to Dingle, so Sampson thought Mister must have made the whole thing up.

One day Molly asked Sampson, “Have you heard the music?’

“What music?”

“The music that plays before Mister disappears.”

“No, no music sweetest.”

“It’s not very loud.  At first I wasn’t sure I was hearing it, but before he disappears I hear this music.”

“What does it sound like?”

“Oh, it’s different every time.  Sometimes it’s like high tinkling bells, sometimes like frogs croaking, like corn flakes being walked on, all sorts of things, but musical.  Once I thought it really was frogs, but we don’t have frogs around here.  And it stops when Mister disappears.”

Sampson decided to listen for the music whenever Mister disappeared.  At first he couldn’t hear anything unusual, then maybe he did hear something like wind chimes but could have been imagining it.  One day Sampson thought maybe he could hear a wheeze not unlike an accordion and turned around to see Mister disappear from underneath the horse chestnut tree.  Molly always seemed to hear the music first, and Molly learned that if she could distract Mister then the music would stop and Mister would stay more or less where he was, though it didn’t always work and sometimes he disappeared anyway.  One day a Mister excited even more than usual exclaimed that he had met a princess who was a lot of fun, but Molly didn’t pay much attention.  Mister often talked of such things but no dragons or goblins or wizards or princesses ever showed up in the Kidd household.  "This is what comes of reading him Harry Potter," Sampson said.

"Let him be young.  It comes only once," replied Molly

Sampson never argued with irrefutable logic.
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To Be Continued

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