The Gift of Desperation

When I finally believed that all hope was gone
I was blessed with the gift of desperation
The light of which, shone brightly on my hidden face
An act that was Divine indeed

To reach this place was a blessing in disguise
Although, at the time, it felt more like an insult
My ego smashed, in a state of pure powerlessness
That is the depth of my fall from Grace

I did not understand something was being done for me
That I could not conceive or would not do for myself
It was Gods’ hand that touched me in such an odd way
Aware now that I could not continue the same pathway

The old self had to die a slow agonizing death
For a new me to be born anew, a new creature
In the eyes of God, my fellow man and the world
To become someone that was foreign to me

It is only this gift of desperation that could catalyze this change
This metamorphosis in mind, attitude, perception and action
So mysterious, so new and so drastic in its magnitude
So precious a Blessing that it still astounds to this day

What was believed to be the end became the first steps in a new journey
A journey of quietness, peace contentment and service
Freedom from the demons that nipped at my heels for decades
Chains that had bound me were broken, wounds were healed

This gift of desperation has carried me to places unthinkable
To be a man amongst my fellows, a citizen of mankind
Rather than a stranger bound in fear and dominated by self
I am amazed at how my journey has changed direction

The gift of desperation