WHO ARE YOU?

                                                                              Who am I?



         Since our first breath of air we start learning about how this world works. Our parents are giving us a hand to make our first steps; they teach us the first word that almost every time is mommy, moeder, mère, madre, 母亲, الأم, Мать, माता, 母. At that age we can call with any of these words the only face that we are able to recognize with the sweetest voice that works its magic over us. We don’t know if this face has a name or what it represents, but we feel the kindness that emanates from this loving, caring angel. After all for this angel doesn’t matter much our name either, she would give us the same unconditional love no matter what word of the above we use.  Every one of us can be the other one and these gentile creatures will have for us the same infinite feeling of love. In this precious moment of our existence we don’t know what our name is and we don’t know if is necessary to have one.

         We are all happy and we confound each other. These gentile angels share our exact feeling and we all are one big family without names and with one identity. I tried to find the words to call every one with his name but my mind blocked because there was no name to call every single one with. I apologies for my lacuna and I will appreciate if one of you will help me find some words to make the difference between all these creatures. To me they seem too much like one body with the same feeling.

         Something is not right here. This is what my mind is saying to me. How it can be that I don’t have words to make a difference between them? How it can be that I am not able to make a simple difference and call every one with his name? I have red so many books and learned so many words so I will have the ability to call every single thing with its name. My mind is convinced that every single thing in this world has a different name. How it can be that now is not even able to find two words and name half of them. It will surely be easier to arrive and name every one if I will be able to split them in two groups. My logic is saying to me that something like that is impossible. Every one of these creatures has to be named, but in the same moment I don’t find any differences between them to follow my logic.

         I know that I am one person but still I don’t understand how all of them can be only one too. I start analyzing what it makes me a person; maybe like that I will be able to find for everyone their name.

         What it makes me a single unique individual? I want to say my name but I realize that my existence begun before I had a name. Maybe what I feel is what it makes me an individual. Has more sense now, but all the feelings that I have now started from the same feeling everyone had in the beginning of their existence.

         Now I start having a doubt. What if I have never been a unique individual? What if I am still part of this big family that shares the same feeling?

         I feel like someone inside of me felt offended because of this discovery of mine, but who can be inside of me and why to feel offended? Who is these unique individual inside of me that felt offended?

         I start realizing that I am not alone in this unique body that my eyes see clearly as an individual. I am a little afraid; I feel the presence of somebody else inside of me. I find the courage and I ask him for his name. I hear clearly that he said my name. Yes it was my name, and my lips didn’t even move. How it can be that I heard so clearly the sound of my name without speaking?

I feel every single hair of my body on the rise, and my heart starts beating so fast that I think it will explode. I am terrified but with the last bit of courage in my heart I ask him again who he is. After a second that lasted an eternity I hear again clearly the answer: I am your ego.

Now, that I knew his name I wasn’t afraid anymore, so I asked him again to say to me more about who he is. This time the answer came right away. I am your conscience awareness. I help you organize your thoughts; I help you make sense of them and the world around us.

I didn’t believe him, and I remembered that Freud wrote really much about the ego, so I went to check. He wrote that the ego is the part of the mind which contains the consciousness.

They both were saying the same thing, but if I am aware of my ego this means that my ego is only my conscience, not the awareness of my conscience. The new me is part of these infinite consciousness that unites all of us like one and aware of my ego that confounds with my conscience. I accepted that Freud was part of the higher me too and I accepted that the definition of the ego that I learned was inaccurate.

         I start reasoning from my feeling, these beautiful new feeling that connected me again to the first feeling that we all have when we come into this world. Now I had no more fears and I wasn’t alone anymore. I had the knowledge of all the other creatures that had no name and I reunite with them.

         In the same instant I reunite with all that exists and I saw your soul too.

         I want to say to all of you that feel lost or afraid that this is  only your ego that blinds your perception of yourselves.

                      

         

          

PEACE & LOVE