Pervasiveness of Death..

No one particularly enjoys thinking about death not even the severely depressed or suicidal. Wanting to off yourself does not mean you like the idea of death, just that you see no other way to get out a situation. No matter how much we may dislike thinking about death however, eventually we will think about it. Humanity’s view towards death is best summed up in the words of British comedian Eddie Izzard when he stated “I have a sort of morbid fascination with death.” Like many of Sigmund Freud’s theories, his statement that people have a “tendency to ‘shelve’ death, to eliminate it from life” does not hold up very well. It is not that people do not think about death or ‘shelve’ it away, but that we do not want to admit to others that we think about death.

“His own death was for primitive man certainly just as unimaginable and
unreal as it is for any of us today. (Freud, 368)”

Always have there been people resigned to the inevitability of their own death. People do not become comfortable with the idea of death, but they accept and do not fear it. For many, their life’s ending is very clear to them. My maternal grandmother knew when it was her time when her estranged son came to visit her. More than likely she knew it was her time the moment she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

“Toward the dead person himself . . . We suspend criticism of him, overlook his possible misdoings… Consideration for the dead, who no longer need it, is dearer to us than the truth... (Freud, 365)”

For the first few days to the next couple of years many people refrain from mentioning the not-so-favorable aspects of the deceased. This is not done out of respect or consideration for the dead however but for the and love ones left in the wake of the person’s life ending. They (the loved ones) want to think of the deceased in a kind light in order to believe that the person has gone on to a better place. Understandably my mother took the death of my granny hard even though they were never got along. I was not so affected, but out of respect for my mom I did not remind her what a selfish, overdramatic old hag Granny was. Once my mom accepted Granny’s death she (and many others in the family) began making jokes about my grandmother’s personality. So no, it is not out of consideration for the dead that we hold back character judgment but out of consideration for the loved ones all ready in so much pain.

“Our hopes, our pride, our happiness, lie in the grave with him, we will not be consoled. (Freud, 365)”

For some this may be true, especially if the deceased is a spouse or child. Perhaps it is better to say that part of our hopes and happiness lie in the grave. If there love truly existed between two people and one died, the deceased would not want the survivor to grieve too long. That is something we often hear but normally it is shortened down to “S/he would not want you to waste your life grieving over them.” Except for the narcissistic and shallow people out there this is true. Humans do not want their loved ones to hurt. We are more empathetic and caring than we believe. Of course there are the people who do bury themselves, at least emotionally, with the dead. Those people may be seen in two ways: selfish for wanting to bring back the dead so they will feel whole again and pitiful because the person truly is not complete without the deceased and society pities them because of it. Many older married couples fall under ‘pitiful’ because a literal piece of their life has been buried in the grave, the part that was their soul mate.

“…at bottom no one believes in his own death, or to put the same thing in another way, in the unconscious every one is convinced of his own immortality. (Freud, 365)”

There are very few people who actually believe that they are immortal, the rest of us live in reality instead of fantasy. Of course immortality may be achieved though not in the sense Freud meant. Cleopatra VII died about 2039 years ago and will likely still be remembered until the end of the world for her antics in ancient Egypt. The way to become immortal on Earth is to greatly stand out. To be remembered is to live forever. I cannot speak for everyone, but I would rather not have people still snooping around my life thousands of years after I am dead. At least when you are alive you can tell people to keep their noses in their own business; when you are dead there is nothing to do but haunt their homes. Humans do know that they are mortal. There is no way to deny it, especially if a person has ever been confronted with death.

We do not put death in the back of our minds no matter how much we like to think so. In fact, the concept of death does not really reside in our minds but in our lives. We know that we are mortal and that inevitability of death is pushed home every time someone we know passes away. Our deaths are real as are those of others. When a loved one passes away we do not completely bury ourselves with them, except in certain circumstance. We do not withhold snide marks about the deceased out of consideration for the dead, but more because we do not want to heap on more hurt all ready piled on our shoulders by the death of a friend or relative or child or lover. No we do not ignore or hide death, but neither do we fully embrace it. We accept it the way we accept that a good book, song or movie must end. We want to know how it ends, but darn it we enjoy the progression of the story.

Work Cited
Freud, Sigmund. “Thoughts for the Time on War and Death.” Great Conversations. Ed. Daniel Born
and Donald H. Whitfield. Chicago, IL: The Great Books Foundation, 2004. 351-373.

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B on this.
Professor's comments (some):
"It's effective- or at least potentially so- to introduce sections of a paper with quotes an then take issue with them. But you need to provide the context. Otherwise your reader- your skeptical reader-becomes suspicious, wonders if you're really fair to your opponent."
"Thoughtful, Barefoot Gypsy, and passionately written." (No, my professor does not call me Barefoot Gypsy. I just don't want my real name out there.)