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by God Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Chapter · Young Adult · #1548865
These are the first two chapters of the book I am currently writing.
Chapter 1: Results

I was hoping this day would not come, but it had, it was after all inevitable.

This was the day when the 3rd year, fourth semester results came.

I was still sleeping at 6 in the morning when a frantic call from a friend suddenly woke me up.

“Hello?” I said yawning.

“Sunil! The results have come, can you check mine on the net and let me know?”

I never knew that a simple sentence could strike such fear into my heart. But the sentence “The results have come.” did just that.

I had nightmares about this day many times in the past. I would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and say “THE RESULTS HAVE COME!” and then realize that it was just a dream and go back to sleep feeling pretty stupid and happy at the same time.

I knew I had done pretty badly, but I was hoping it was not as bad as I thought it was.

Meanwhile, my friend was carrying on hysterically “Sunil! Sunil! Sunillll!!”

“Yes.” I said finally. “Yeah, I will check it out and message you.”

“Okay. Thanks da, let me know as soon as possible” and with the a click, the call got cut.

I hastily went and switched on my computer and patiently waited it to boot up. Seconds seemed liked minutes as the computer slowly started up.

“Hurry!! Hurry!” I pleaded, but it did not listen, it just went about its groggy business of slowly starting up.

Eventually, when it finally loaded up, I immediately started my Internet explorer and went straight to my university website where the results were announced.

It did not load.

This was a common problem whenever the results were announced, everyone tried to access the university website at the same time and the servers could never handle it.

The Idea was to keep trying until you got lucky. Its like winning the jackpot, only difference being that you aren't always happy when the jackpot time arrives and you sometimes wonder why you bothered trying to play in the first place.

The irony of the situation felt bitter.


I was spending a lot of time in desperately trying to find out something that I knew would disappoint me anyway.

But, what could I do. I hoped for the best and kept trying.

20 minutes into this boring event I found myself entering my roll number into the website form finally. I had to wait for a few more minutes when the results page started loading.

I started scanning through it while it was loading, I wasn't interested in my marks or anything as insignificant as that, I was only interested in seeing how many times the letter F appeared on the screen.

I counted, then I counted some more, then I counted even more, my hands had run out of fingers.

It was official now.

I had a grand total of 22 arrears!!!

Well, not “grand” but anyway...

22 arrears! I did not know what to do with that.

So I did the most sane thing possible, I reloaded the page.

Surprise, surprise... nothing changed. I reloaded it again and again but naturally nothing changed.

I had 22 arrears and no matter how many times I denied the claim, the truth was wildly apparent.

I sat there, not knowing what to do and did the second most sane thing possible.

I laughed.

But then suddenly I couldn't laugh anymore, so I felt sad and whined.

Then, when I was done with that, I laughed again

And then I whined again.

This cycle went on for quite a while.

The hardest thing about getting bad results is not just getting them. Its about telling someone else about them, that is the hardest part.

So the worst was yet to come.

I still had to tell my parents about it.

I thought about it awhile and went down and felt it would be better if I eased my parents into the shock.


So I went down and asked her, “Mom, do you want me to help you cook breakfast??”

“OH MY GOD!!” she screamed

“Wha? What..?” I said, a bit taken aback.

“The results have come, haven't they!!??” she stated

What the! I thought to myself, maybe I had overdone it. That's the problem with mothers. They always know everything about you. Whether you want them to, whether you don't want them to or whether you hide it or whatever. They always know.

Maybe it was my body language or maybe it was the way I stated the question or maybe it was the question itself, who knew.

“Ah... yes. They have.” I stated, matter-of- factly trying to be act as calm and composed as possible.

“How did you know?” I asked, even though I knew that was not the most pressing question at the moment. But, curiosity had gotten the better of me.

“Never mind that. What's the count now!?” she asked

“Count?” I re-stated as if I had NO IDEA what she was talking about, even though we both knew that I did.

“The count. You know... How many?” she stated with urgency.

“Ah... 22.” I said and kept quite. I had nothing more to say.

“22!! My god! You Idiot!!” she proclaimed.

She then proceeded to grab the nearest thing around her, which thankfully was a newspaper. She then rolled the paper up and used it like a rod, all the while staring at me.

“You idiot!” she said as she hit me with the newspaper on the head.

“Arrgh!!” she said as she hit me a couple more times at the same spot.

Her anger seemed to dissipate, since she calmed down after that sudden outburst.

Well, the newspaper beating didn't hurt me physically, but I did feel very bad about it. My mom had never resorted to violence and this is what I had pushed her to do.

“Well? What did you father say?” she asked next.

“I haven't told him yet” I replied sheepishly

My mother went straight to my father and told him the news.

Wherein my father then proceeded to perform the same act as my mother did, although he did it a few times more.

Ah, the hardships of being a failure.

“Come to my room” dad ordered.

I followed him feeling like a sheep that was being taken to a butchers shop.

“Well?” he said.

“Well...” I stated, looking around casually.

“Hmmm... well... This is your last year. Don't you think you need to clear them?” he asked me.

“Yes. I think I do” I replied.

“Hmmm... so what steps will you take then?”

“I will study harder” I said while thinking back on how I had said the same thing when the results came last time as well.

“See, I don't understand. Passing these engineering exams are not all that difficult. Why are you doing this? I have seen that you go to all the exams diligently, but you never clear them. I know you and the problem is that you obviously don't concentrate, nothing else. If you do not clear them now, it will be a problem for your future. I wish you would understand that. You are old enough to make these decisions yourself, you are not a child anymore. What you do now, is up to you.”

“Okay.” I said. I always hated these conversations.

“Hmm... Well, see, the situation is like this. You know that we don't have a lot of money, we are somehow getting by right now, that is why you go for your part time job, so that you can have money to spend for your own needs. My store is not doing too well, I do not know how much longer it will run even. It really is up to you to make up your life.” dad said sternly.

“yes... yes I know” I said.

“Then focus! Concentrate! Clear these exams. I know you can do it if you really put effort into it.”

“Yes, I understand” I said and walked out of the room to get ready for college.

I then remembered about my friends results and proceeded to check that. That was another 20 minute wait.

Anyway, I checked the time. It was already 8 in the morning, so I wouldn't be able to make it for shuttle practice today. So I a sent Rohit an SMS about what happened. He replied to that message with three words, “Okay, take care.”

Chapter 2: 3 years ago

Having just barely managed to get a 60 % average in my class 12th  CBSE Board exams, I somehow had managed to get into the Ranji Tech College of Engineering that is situated in Chennai, India.

Usually kids who study for their 12th standard exams score pretty well since it decides what kind of Engineering college they would get into.

I suppose am not the kind who thinks too seriously of the future, so I did not take my exams too seriously either.

Even then I had managed to get into a decent college, so I was happy.

Since it was the first day of college, I went there quite early. My mom and dad were quite surprised that I had gone early since I always usually late for everything.

Anyway, I reached there by 8:35 in the morning, while college only started by 9.

I took a local transport bus to go to college. Reaching college by bus took me almost 45 minutes.

I felt anxious as I got down at the bus stop that was situated right next to my college entrance and looked up to see my college for the first time as a student.

The whole experience felt ominous and yet at the same time, exciting.

The college entrance had an arch with the words “RANJI TECH ENGINEERING COLLEGE”  imprinted on it. The wall was not high so I could see on the other side of it. There was a wide lane that was probably used to let the college buses and other vehicles in. On either side of the lane was lush green grass and a tree here and there. To the right was what seemed like a car park and there were buildings all over the place. It was a typical Engineering college.

So, I asked around and found out that the Computer Science first years class was 1A and proceeded to find my way towards it.

As I was searching, I went up to someone who was about to enter a class and asked him, “Hey, do you know where class 1A is?”

He gave me a queer look and then said “Class 1A? Oh... you are in the wrong building. You need to go to the opposite building and its on the first floor, first class to the right. You cannot miss it.”

“Thank you” I said and off I went.

I walked up to the building, went to the first floor and looked to the right. It was a bathroom!

Quite perplexed, I came back and looked around and searched for my class again, I was directed back to the class that the guy was entering.



I looked up to see the name of the class, It was 1A!

I went inside and saw him, sitting comfortably and blissfully. He saw me and smiled.

“Well? Did you find 1A?” He asked me laughing.

“Damn you! You sent me on a wild goose chase!” I said exasperated and sitting in a bench behind him.

“Come on,  relax... I was only joking around.” he said coming up to my bench and putting an arm around my shoulder.

“Well, at least now you know where the toilet is. Ha ha ha. Anyway, my name is Arjun. Nice to meet you.” he said, all the while smiling.

I couldn't stay mad at him for long, so I said “Humph... Nice to meet you too. My name is Sunil.” giving him a look.

“Okay okay, I am sorry. But think about it. Didn't that make your first day in college memorable?” he continued.

“Humph...” was all I said.

I looked around and saw that someone else was in the room as well.

His hands and his face were flat out on the first bench. He was fast asleep!!

I was quite perplexed. I never expected someone to sleep in class on the first day.

“Who is he?” I asked Arjun.

“I have no Idea. He's been that way ever since I entered class.” he replied

“Well... Let's wake him” I said, trying to be adventurous.

So I went up to him and poked him and said, “Hello?”

“Huh? Ma na na....” he slurped and wiped some saliva of his lips and sat up. He surveyed the room still half asleep and asked me “what time is it?”

“Ah.. 8:40” I told him.

“Ah... good.” He replied and with a bang, he slammed his face and his hands on the desk and went back to sleep.

“Ah...” I said and stared at him. He was fast asleep again. We were back to square one.

Well, no point in disturbing him again I thought and took my seat.


In 15 minutes the whole class was filled up.

The first day can be quite an anxious day. Everyone was nervous and no one really knew each other.

Well, everyone was nervous except of course our friend who was still blissfully sleeping.

We all spoke to the people nearby to us as we all slowly started to get to know each other.

A bell rang by 9, I suppose it was the bell for class to begin.

I prodded at the guy who was sleeping and told him, “Its 9. You should probably get up now.”

“Oh? Its 9?” he said. “Good... good.”

He sat up, still in a sleepy state. I couldn't make out if he was awake or still sleeping.

Later on I found out that his name was Venkat.

He had been working in a call center to pass time in the free time he had before college started. He had worked whole of previous night until 5 in the morning since it was his last day there and that's why he was terribly sleepy that day. No matter what, he did not want to miss the first day of college, so he forced himself to come.

The day passed of relatively well and so did the rest of the week. We got to know each other and the three of us, Arjun, Venkat and me actually started to become good friends.

Then, after 2 weeks of peace, the college started for the seniors.

The day we had all been dreading was finally here. We had all heard horror tales about the things that seniors did to their juniors, we were hoping that those horror tales remained just that, horror tales.

Soon, one by one the seniors started picking on us.

We would be harmlessly walking by, minding our own business, when suddenly we would be stopped by seniors and asked questions.

“Introduce yourself” they would say.

We would all fumble and try to act all calm and composed, even though everyone knew that we were all shit scared of them.

They would then proceed to make demands and have their fun with us, much to our displeasure, but that is college life I guess.

There was this one time when they asked me to do a pole dance with a light fixture.

“What in the world is a pole dance?” I asked them, having no idea what they meant.


“Its a pole dance stupid. Dance with the pole.” a gruff senior replied.

“Oh.. okay...” I said, having no Idea what he meant and giving him a queer look.

“Hows this?” I said, wiggling my hands and feeling really stupid and scared at the time.

“No, you idiot. God, you are ridiculous! This is getting boring. Forget it, go buy me a coke can!” he shouted.

“Yes sir!” I said and rushed off.

I was very scared of my seniors. Although at that time, I was pretty much scared of everything. Everyone was like that. We just blindly listened to whatever the seniors ordered us to do, no questions asked.

Actually, before I entered college, I was quite the innocent one. I was fat, had little or no Idea about the world around me and I was lost in a world of my own. I used to love technology and science magazines and other geeky stuff, but I did not have a computer back then and neither did we have enough money to buy one. I was just sit around and dream.

Back in school I had quite a rough patch. I was the butt of jokes for the longest time and I had no self confidence in myself and I did not do well in my studies either, so I was pretty much a loser. When I came to college, I wanted to change myself and become a better person.

So far, nothing had changed about me, I was the same.

That's when the Initiation day was called upon by the seniors.

We were all ordered to come to some resort on a Friday night.

We had no idea what to expect but we did not question them, we went. Arjun had a car and we he picked us up on the way to the resort.

My parents had no objections with me stying over or anything of the sort, they were just happy that I had friends.

The three of us banded together and went together. “Whatever it is, we will face it together” we said taking a resolution.

The resort was a really nice place. It was far off from the city and was isolated. We went in and were greeted by our seniors who were already there. All the boys from our class soon showed up there one by one or in groups.

We were all herded together and like sheep were asked to stand in a line, which we did.

We could make out that our seniors were pretty drunk by then, they were smelling of alcohol and walked a bit funny.


The most sober of them came towards us and announced, “Strip your clothes!!”

“Strip our clothes? Why?” I asked out of impulse.

He turned towards me and said, “Because I say so dumbass!”

“Ah.. okay..” I said, that was a good enough reason for me.

I turned towards my friends, they were already prodding at their shirts and opening it up.

But I was far too embarrassed. I was the kind of kid that was shy enough not to take my shirt of when we had guests at home. I did not go to swimming pools because I felt embarrassed to take my shirt of and swim in the pool. And they wanted me to take my shirt of??!

Up until now, it was okay, whatever torment they did, I was fine with that. But, I was far too embarrassed to get naked in front of all these people.

“Sorry... ah but can I not do it?” I asked in a feverish tone, hoping he would not massacre me. I feared stripping more than them beating me up.

I don't know why, but I thought it was part of my dignity or something.

“Im sorry what?” the senior said, “I couldn't hear you from there, what did you say?” walking towards me.

“Ah... can I not remove my clothes” I said looking away and getting really scared. My hands were going cold and I started to tremble. My heart was beating faster and faster and I kept getting scared.

Phatak!! came the sound as he squarely slapped me on my cheek.

“Now, I will say it one more time. Strip!!” he said staring at me menacingly.

I was slapped! Me, who had never seen violence at home and nor at school. I had never been slapped before and the feeling was horrible. My left cheek had turned red and the pain had doubled inside my head.

I couldn't take it anymore, the feelings bottled up inside me from school re-surfaced and now I was slapped and I was asked to strip. I couldn't take it, I couldn't take it anymore! They had pushed me over the edge!!

The senior looked at me and he saw my face turning red.

“AAAARRGHGHH!!!” I screamed.

The senior stepped back, he sensed danger.

Thats when I did the unthinkable!


I burst into tears!!

I started crying!! Horribly!! Miserably!!

I was crying so hard, my nose started to leak and I had Flem coming out, which I wiped with my hands.

“AAAAAAAAAUHHH” I yelled, burning up. I couldn't control myself.

It was the worst sight you could possibly imagine, a fat little 18 year old crying like there is no tomorrow.

“You! Stop crying!!” my senior commanded me.

I started crying even more!

Everyone was looking at me at this point, all my classmates, all my seniors.

Without knowing what else to do, the senior tried to calm me down.

“Okay... okay... calm down” he said in a low tone.

“You can keep your underwear. Just take off your shirt and phants” he recommended.

“Dude... chill” I head Arjun say to me. He was standing next to me.

“Okay.. okay..” I said somehow controlling myself. The torrent of tears and taken off part of the tension, but the fear was still present.

I slowly took off my clothes and stood, still sniffing.

“God! You aren't a girl you know.. calm down you crybaby!!” the senior said

A few minutes later, he asked us to perform a dance routine, which was although quite disgusting provided some amusement to my seniors.

They forced all of us to drink that day. Whether we wanted to or not.

That was one unforgettable night.

We all returned home the next day morning.

By morning, I had calmed down quite a lot.

We all returned home, all with new memories and I with a brand new nickname.


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