Fake

Fighting and the screaming, I cant take much more. Yelling 24/7, getting pushed to the floor.
No one cares for one another, all they do is call names. Im gettig too old for these stupid little games.
I'm about to leave this stupid retched place, go find somewhere else to live where no one yells in my face.
My dad hits my mom, my mom takes it out on a kid. She hits them till they're bruised for something they never did.
When I got so angry, I ran in my room and scream, hide my face in a pillow hoping its all a dream.
But then when I got up, I realize it is real, then I walk out my door. Someones making a big deal.
As I was going down my hallway a picture caught my eye, all of us smiliing in a family picture, but I knew it was a lie.
It made me sick to my stomach when I looked at everyones face, putting arms around eachother and the fake smiles that took place.
I'm tired of being fake with everything I do. I cant even be true to my family when I say I love you.
We go to church each sunday. We are all best dress, but really whats inside is a whole lot of mess.
So we put on our fake smiles and then we all hold hands, then my mother whispers in our ear a little fake command.
We sang during praise and worship, then got home and start a fight. I was getting excited, I couldn't wait till tonight.
Hi it's me again, this will be my last write, because tonight I have decided to take my very own life.
I tell my brothers and sisters I love them, hug my mom and dad, but then I felt a little weird inside, and the feeling wasn't bad.
I got in my car and drove off, then I started to cry. I heard a voice inside my head "You dont really want to die."
So then I turned the car around, all of a sudden two bright lights, the car started spinning and flipping, I held onto the stearing wheel tight.
I saw my life flash before my eyes, even though I didnt want to. All of the faces of my family, all of it not true.
I'm seeing it all go by, not aything good. Saw some things I shouldn't of did and saw some things that I should.
Then everything stopped and I hurt so bad, but then I knew I wanted this, but I wasnt glad.
So I lay there helplessly and remember that I lied. I began to see clearly on the night that I died.