Do you love me?

“Do you love me?”

“My dear, would I have married you if I have ever loved you?”

“I find you most disagreeable when you answer my question with your question.  Do you love me?”

“I am fond of you enough to never feel passion for you.  Now, how would you like the apples to be cut?”

“In thin slices, please.  Yes, all five of them.  Now, the question is just a yes or no.  Why is it so hard for you to just pick one?”

“It must have been at least two years that we have been married, so why is it that you always and still ask me questions that I never answer?  Now, make sure you don’t put too much water in like last time.  It was an interesting experience, admittedly, but I don’t want to eat that kind of crust again in this lifetime if I can help it.”

“I will make sure I put a lot of water in if you won’t answer.  Now, do you or do you not love me?”

“Must you be so persistent?  You already know that this is one and only one question that I will never answer.”

“The slices should be a little thinner.  Yes, that’s about right.  Yes, I know that very well.  And yes, I wonder often time enough whatever could have possessed me to accept your propose then.”

“If you tell me you love me, we shall divorce this afternoon.”

“You are being even more disagreeable than usual today.  All right, the dough’s done.”

“Have it wrapped and put in the fridge.  Will you prepare sugar, cinnamon and salt?  Yes, that bowl.  By the way, it was convenience and the fact that we knew we could live with each other for the next decades and more without enduring unnecessary headaches and dramas that possessed me to propose and for you to accept.”

“All right, do you love me?”

“That’s too much sugar.  Add more cinnamon after you take about a spoon out.  I don’t hate you, would that suffice?”

“No.  And I think I’m going to dislike you excessively if you don’t answer soon.”

“As long as you don’t hate me.  The pie’s going to taste funny.  Every time we have this conversation while cooking, food always tastes funny.”

“But you always finish it every time.  Do we still have Ceylon?”

“Would Assam do?”

“Straight, yes.  How long before the dough’s ready?”

“Fifteen minutes.  And don’t you start it.”

“Do you love me?”

“I should have thought about your habit of pushing my patience before I proposed.”

“I should have considered your habit of never answering anything directly before I accepted.”

“When did we fight last?”

“Before we got married.”

“I am nothing short of a saint.  Is this sweet enough?”

“This is about right.  Mmph!”

“….  Yes, tastes about right.”

“…. I really, really dislike you.”

“I really, really like you, though.”

“You don’t love me, do you?”

“Ask me next time.”