If I Could Pick My God

If I could pick my God,
He'd look like Buddy Hackett.
No, She'd be a girl,
who looks like She can't hack it.

When She got upset,
I'd help Her figure it out,
Even wipe Her tears,
tell Her not to doubt.

There'd be no need for money
and the girls would so abound,
that if it rained while sunny,
they'd grow right from the ground.

Everyone would live forever,
no one would get sick.
Tomatoes could still exist...I guess.
So could my brother Rick.

Dogs would tell great jokes.
Football no off-season.
And remember all those girls?
They'd love us for no reason.

Rap would go away fast,
and all the wars too.
Then you'd let me live
...Just as I let you.