Heartsong

Prologue

              “Please, Annie. I can’t think about the rest of my life without you.”

         Amanda Sawyer stared down at her best friend kneeling before her as if he’d lost his mind. “Jamie, I—I don’t really know what to say.”

         “Say yes,” he begged, finally coming to his feet and taking her hand in his. “Surely you knew this was where I was heading. I’ve never made any secret about how I feel.”

         A million thoughts ran through the young woman’s mind, most of them panicked. Lord, this has to be a dream. I love him—I probably always have—but we’re seventeen, and he still has another year of high school before him. We can’t do this!

         “Jamie,” she whispered, pain in her eyes as she looked up at him. “You know I love you.”

         “But?” he prompted, his face closing down.

         “But we’re too young. My parents married right out of high school, and they self-destructed. I just graduated tonight, and you’re not even out of high school yet! We have so many years in front of us, so many dreams. Why can’t we take it slow and see where God leads us?”

         “You and your God!” he spat, dropping her hand as if it had burned him.

         Oh, God. I knew he didn’t have a strong faith, but I never saw this coming “Jamie, I never made any secret of my faith and what it means to me.”

         He stared down at her for a few long moments, then shook his head slowly. “It would never have worked, would it?” he asked, his voice begging her to disagree.

         She shook her head, unable to speak, but as he turned to walk away a feeling of dread settled around her, and she could no longer stay silent. “Jamie, wait!” she called, finding her voice.

         He turned around, but kept walking backwards. “Don’t worry about it, Amanda. I asked, and you made your choice. I have to accept that, but don’t expect me to live with it.” He pushed through the door and walked into the night, his silhouette blending into the darkness of the shadows outside.

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“Annie!” her grandmother’s voice called her out of the fitful sleep she had fallen into. “Annie, sweetheart, you have to wake up now.”

“Nana? What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting up and shaking her head to clear it of the foggy shreds of dreams she couldn’t quite remember. Something about Jamie….

“Jamie’s parents just called.” She stopped, not sure how to tell her granddaughter the rest, and Annie’s eyes widened.

“Nana?” Her voice shook.

“There’s been an accident, Amanda. Jamie didn’t make it.”

A sharp chill ran down the younger woman’s spine, and she shook her head. “No. No! You must have misunderstood! He can’t be dead! He’s not dead!” she screamed, shaking uncontrollably, but even as she protested, she knew the news had been true.

“Don’t expect me to live with it,” echoed through her mind, and she turned her wet face toward the ceiling and her thoughts to God.

Chapter One

         Amanda Sawyer—Annie to anyone who really knew her—took a deep breath as she parked her car by the curb of the old house with peeling white paint. Three and a half years ago, she had left for college across the country with no intentions of ever returning. Now she was back in the world of Southern drawls, fried chicken, nosey neighbors, and memories around every corner.

         You’re here for Nana, she reminded herself firmly. Don’t forget that. Poking her head through the always-open front door and half-preparing herself for the sterile scent of hospitals, Annie instead inhaled the almost-magical scent of her grandmother’s home. A warm wave of chocolate chip cookies, lavender soap, and old books brushed past her and wafted onto the porch, and Annie’s eyes teared. Everything’s exactly the same as when I left. Everything but me. Swiping a hand across her eyes, the college student walked into the home she had missed for so long. “Hello?” she called into the quiet house. “Is anyone here?” No one answered; everything was still in the warm afternoon sun.

                Shrugging, Annie wandered, touching a pillow here, straightening a picture there; losing herself in the world of her childhood until an angry male voice behind her broke the silence. “What are you doing here?” it snapped.

                She gasped and spun around, a hand pressed over her pounding heart.

                “Hello? I asked you a question.”

                “Give me a second!” she snapped back. “You startled me—let me catch my breath.” I’ve never seen a man put his hands on his hips and tap his feet before, but his tone conveys the same sentiment, Annie grumbled to herself.

                “Look, I don’t want any trouble. It’s been a long day for everyone here, and I don’t want Mrs. Sawyer to have to deal with this when she gets back from the hospital. So if you’ll just leave, I’ll forget this ever happened, okay?”

                When she gets back from the hospital—the hospital—hospital… Tears filled her eyes again as Annie looked up at the stranger standing in front of her. “How is she doing?”

                The man looked taken aback by her words. “You know Mrs. Sawyer?”

                Sniffing, Annie nodded. “She’s my grandmother.”

                “Wait….” he trailed off, obviously thinking. “Are you Annie? She talks about you constantly. We didn’t think you’d make it; California’s a long way away.”

                A lifetime away. “I came as soon as I heard. Nana raised me. I had to be here.”

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