Forever More: Part 1

Her hands slipped under my shirt, the warmth of them caressing my stomach. A soft moan forced its way up my throat, past my lips as she kissed me feverishly. I held her lips to mine, my fingers tangling in her platinum hair, while her palms worked their way further up. Our mouths separated only briefly as she agilely lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor.

The boards of the old wooden shack creaked underfoot as we made our way over to the makeshift bed/couch. A stack of old mattresses we received as a gift from her grandfather piled on top of one another and several quilts made by my aunt for my sixteenth birthday last year. Over the years we’d created our own little sanctuary out in the middle of the old swamp. Sure it smelled a little funny sometimes, but it was our place, a safe haven where we could escape the judgment of others.

The people of our small town weren’t very accepting of who we were. They considered us abnormal. Heretics even, because their Bible stated, “No man shall lie with another man as he shall with a woman,” or something close. It was reverse in our situation, of course, but they viewed it all the same. We were lesbians, queer and nothing they wanted in their too perfect town, so we kept it a secret. No one knew, not our friends or even our closest family members.

This shack, our secret palace as my girlfriend called it, was the only place we could be together. She preferred to fantasize things, especially this place, making them better than they really were. Admittedly, it made my job a lot easier. I could give her a homemade ring of gimp and she’d value it as if it were made of gold studded with a 14 karat diamond. She had accepted it on our fifth date, promising it would never leave her finger no matter what. I had promised to buy her a real one as soon as I could afford it. Even then, she’d insisted that she liked the one I made better. She valued things with sentimental value more than expensive gifts any day. One of the things I loved most about her. She valued effort over value.

She loved me for me. She didn’t mind that my family was dirt broke. She didn’t care if I had to cancel a date so I could work an extra shift in order to afford the bills. She’d just say I owed her one, not knowing if I’d ever pay her back. I tried, but I was never sure if I met the standards, if the things I came up with were enough to make-up for all the times I canceled on her. I always felt under par, like she was far more than I deserved. She was. A small part of me knew that some day she’d be taken away from me. The older we got, the closer to graduation, the more certain of that I became. I was going to lose her and it scared the hell out of me.

I didn’t know how or when, all I knew was that it was coming. She would find better, someone who could afford to bathe her in all the luxuries of a goddess like she deserved. We’d been together since we were in preschool, practically our entire lives. I couldn’t imagine being apart from her, not for a second… so, when she left me would I survive it? I didn’t know, hadn’t the slightest idea. But, I didn’t think I could. Losing her would be like giving up half of my existence, the good half. What was a brain when the heart stopped beating? A useless organ unable to function. It would falter and whither away, slowly decaying until death. God, I hoped it would never come to that.

“Nicole?”

I slowly eased out of my daze.

“Wha…?”

“Are you alright?” she asked as her hands cradled my face, concern clear in her sapphire eyes.

I shook my head to clear it. Her palms followed my face as I placed my hands over hers.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I finally said a little breathless.

Somehow, she didn’t look convinced. She took my hands in hers, caressing her thumbs in comforting circles over my skin. She stared into my eyes, concern imminently in the creases of her brow. She always knew when something was bothering me. I never had to say a single word. She just knew like a special sixth sense designed especially for me.

“Nicole, if something’s bothering you…” she trailed softly, pulling me to sit beside her on the mattresses.

I sat next to her, smoothing my hand against the softness of her rosy cheek. She nestled into my palm, savoring my touch.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” I said to her again, “I was just thinking…”

“What about?” she asked, sighing into my palm before gently pressing her soft lips to the back of my hand.

I stared into my lap; ashamed by the thoughts I’d had just a few moments ago. There was nothing I couldn’t share with her, not a thing in the world. This included. I took in a deep breath in preparation. I might as well tell her how I’d been feeling. If I told her my fears, maybe she could put them to rest…

“What happens once we graduate next year? You want to go to college. We wouldn’t be –”

She cut me short by placing a finger to my lips with a shake of her head.

“I’ll always be with you, Nicole,” she stated matter-of-factly, “Even if it means putting off going to school for a year or two or three…”

Damn… I wanted her to comfort me, but I didn’t want her to throw her future away doing it. She was smart. Could get into any college she applied to.

“No, don’t do that,” I said, feeling guilty as all hell, “I just wish there was some way we could be together forever...”

Little did I know, forever was exactly what I was going to get.




Word Count: 1,018