Safe Shotgun Usage

Local environmentalists in Argentina are concerned that its population of burrowing parrots are dying out as a result of farmers moving their crops to more vegetated areas, which are closer to the birds’ nests. The result is that the farmers are either shooting the birds, or scaring them away from their habitat as result of fear for the destruction of their own crops.
This species once roamed wild and free in huge numbers around the area known as Pampas – the heartland of Argentina – that boasts incredible lush, green fields, but now they have decreased to a number in the vicinity of 33 000.

Farmers responded to threats by the eco-friendly folk by declaring the birds a menace.
“They eat our soybeans, florreck the skies like a swarm of locust, and make a hell of a noise” complained soybean farmer Mr. Pablo Fleynardis. “They must go.”
Though it is has been found that the bird’s diet consists mainly of fruit and seeds, the farmers remain adamant that these birds destroy “everything”. What has been made clear, however, is that these things do indeed make a heck of a racket.
Walking on the valley floor next to thousands of holes in the river bed, you might feel that you are attending a Linkin Park rock concert next to the main speaker system. They make the engines of a SU-27 Flanker sound like a crying, cuddly little baby.

There must be a solution.
The ecologists are complaining because for some unknown reason in the last ten years of their studying the birds, not one of them could figure out where the birds migrate to. This might be as a result of the ecologists not having adequate tracing or tracking equipment – which I find highly unlikely – or it could be because they are just incompetent – which is more plausible.
The farmers on the other hand complain that there’s not enough noise abatement, and the birds allegedly attack their plants.

Why don’t the government put a stop to this nonsense? They can simply tell the farmers to move. Of course this will upset the lot and large Mexicans will turn up in front of parliament house with Molotov cocktails and stinger missiles, but that’s life. This situation is already fragile as it is. Why don’t the eco jocks go to court? They’ve already proven the birds do not eat soybeans…
After they’ve won they can rise up some kind of nuclear powered fence over the land that serves as a kind of restricted airspace – “Sorry Burrows, you’ll just have to fly somewhere else.”

On the other hand, if the farmers move, the food moves out. Maybe they should catch the 33 000 and ship them to some quiet spot in the Peruvian mountains where they won’t bother anyone. But actually this will be an expensive problem of its own because the scientists don’t know where the birds go during migration season. So they will be shipped out at thousands of dollars, and when the time comes they will fly around pointlessly for six months, suddenly stop and say “Hey, my instincts are guiding my loins back to Pampas!”

Maybe the farmers should get some ear plugs…

I have another idea:
It’s simple. When you fight a fire, get rid of the fuel.
There’s a shop in town called Harkem’s - a nice little place where you can buy everything from hand grenades to SAW heavy machine guns. (It’s located on the corner of Schoeman and Greef St.)
Go there, buy a couple of shotguns, rocket launchers - whatever you fancy - and get a plane ticket to Argentina. 
Climb off and shoot the living complaint out of the first person you see – farmer or ecologist. Honestly, if you want to resolve this issue, don’t chase the birds away - they have a seemingly natural right to stay there.
No.
Have fun: knock some sense into a Spaniard.