LETTING YOU GO!

Dear Aric,
  You are a selfish bastard. I have carried this fo 18 years. Not anymore, you are the only one who knows the exact truth. You left me and your mother wondering, crying , reminising of good and bad times. Damn you! I will never get the picture out of my head that day, the gun going into your mouth, your fucking brains all over everything, and then your lifeless body laying in my arms as I pray that help would arrive quick enough to do something.
      You know Aric, you were my best friend in the world, we were brothers. Do you remember the drunken blood brother oath? All the great time we all had, before the drugs, the alcohol, the wild nights. Just cruising around in that old beat up Mazda RX7 jamming out to good ol 80's rock, chilling out at the lake skiing and what not, or how about the long nights sitting on your balcony til wee hours of the morning talking about how one day we would sail the Atlantic. Do you remember this? No! you took the pussy way out because you thought no one cared. Dammit man, I did, I loved you like my own brother.
  So now, I am turning it back over to you and God. I didn't cry for you tonight like I always do, but I did pray for you and sang you a song. God know I can't sing, but gave it my all just like you did before all this. I want you to know its time for me to let this go man.I am doing things in my life now for me and my sanity, my spirituality. I finally after 18 years of abusing myself mentally and physically, I have found peace.I am smiling again. I have found me.
    One day brother, we will sing Amazing Grace at the heavenly gates of God once again. I remember you, I love you bro, and I miss you, but most of all I AM LETTING YOU GO!


                                                  UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!