Island

The pedals rose and fell like a wave. When the wave crested I pushed down with the toe of my chuck Taylors. After that, some force of physics I hadn't learned yet whipped the pedals back around for me to push down on again. I curled my fingers tighter around the rusted metal of the handle bars and felt my shirt beneath my arms getting wet. "Shit." I thought, I was always sweating like some 400 pound sumo wrestler. Except sumo wrestlers only wear those diaper things, so they wouldn't have pit stains. "Shit." I thought of the day I found out my mom was pregnant with my little brother, Liam, and I begged her o give the baby back to god. 'Won’t he be happier playing with all the other little babies in heaven?" I asked. I had it set in my mind that heaven was like a doctors waiting area, a place to collect yourself before you went in and when you came out of life on earth. "No sweetie pie,' she said. (She was big on pet names) "He’s a gift, and he'll be happier with us." My mom didn't take very good care of that gift unfortunately and I was thankful now Liam was old enough to use a phone he could call me when he was in trouble. I had one of those chunky beepers from the 90's and when someone paged me, I ran. This time one of mom's bum boy friend’s had left Liam alone in a park while he went and got high. When things got bad Liam and I found an island, a little place separate from the rest of the world where we could hide and pretend to sip fancy drinks with those paper umbrellas. I wondered how long it would be until Liam realized it wasn't all just a game. Getting to the park I dropped the bike and started frantically searching for Liam, as if didn’t find him fast enough he would drown. I spun in a circle wondering where his island would be. Finally I spotted him, though even when I stopped turning the world continued blurring around me. I wiped the tears from my eyes and walked toward where he was sitting with his eyes closed, up by the slide. A mother was trying to coax him down, thinking he was scared. He rocked back and forth and I held on to the bars of the play ground with him, trying to steady our lives. “Tess,” he whispered with his eyes still closed “I can hear the sea gulls.”