Before You Go...

Introduction:

Garrett had never really pondered the complexities of life until a single phone call shattered his seemingly perfect world. Now the once concrete boundaries that defined his existence have been blurred, leaving him to question his very sanity. Yet amid it all the woman of his dreams remains by his side. However after stubbornly letting her go he must learn to cope with having only her friendship as opposed to her love. Can he survive the turmoil to learn that love can indeed conquer all?


Chapter 1


“Come on…pick up the call,” I commanded my answering machine, pulling the pillows over my head to shield my ears from the incessant ringing. 

“Garrett it’s almost ten o’clock.  I thought you were coming in today?”

Ignoring Maggie was impossible.

“I know you’re there.  Just pick up the phone,” she demanded in her raspy Bostonian tone.  “Pick up the damn phone.”

“Ugh,” I groaned as I let my legs slide over the side of the bed, the impact of another sleepless night instantly striking my head like a bolt of lightening.  Rubbing my temples, I tried to recall exactly what time I had fallen asleep yet the countless shots of liquor that served as my nightly sedative had hopelessly blurred my memory.

“Don’t make me come over there and roll your sorry ass out of bed again,” she warned.

That pestering woman!

The room was pitch black except for a few tiny slivers of sunlight that managed to find their way between the plush velvet curtains that covered the windows.  I cautiously maneuvered my way toward the phone, attempting to mentally navigate the mine field of clutter that was strewn across the floor. 

“You know it’s a crying shame that a grown man is living like you do…in that disaster zone.  How in God’s name have you avoided being cited by the health department?  It’s a public hazard…I mean after all there are children living in that building”, she continued to ramble as if she could see me as I cautiously made my way through the darkness.

‘Well that’s a new insult,’ I thought with a chuckle because I knew her assessment of my once immaculate home was more than accurate.

It was at that moment that I recalled precisely where I had moved the box of old sketches that I had retrieved from storage.  I felt myself pitch forward as I scrambled to regain my footing, grasping a futile hold on the desk before crashing to the floor with a thud.  For a moment I had forgotten about the purpose of my trek until I heard Maggie’s voice again.

“Anyone who would spend the kind of money you did on that place and then let it go like-”

“Geez Maggie.  Will you give it a rest?” I said with a groan as I hastily hit the button on the loudspeaker.

The line went silent for a moment.  I could envision her expression, annoyed but relived that I had in fact taken the call.

“You know I worry about you,” she softly replied, leaving me feeling more than a little guilty.  I ran my hand over my mouth and stubble covered cheek, uncertain of just how to respond.

“Yeah…I know.”

“Sounds like you were up late…again.  I’m guessing that you spent another evening curled up with a fine Russian import?”

My eyes dared toward the half empty bottle of vodka on the bedside table.  She knew me all too well but then again I was equally as familiar with her.  She may have technically been my employer but our relationship was more akin to that of a mother and son.  She had called me every morning since I’d taken my leave of absence, continually antagonizing me until I eventually picked up the phone.  Her snide comments and slurs were nothing more than thinly veiled attempts to mask her anxieties. 

Though she had never said it, I knew that she lived in fear of the day that she might call and no one would answer.  The realization of her concerns always struck me as rather odd because apparently she sensed some greater degree of fortitude within me than actually existed.  I was too much a coward to end my life in that way.  Rather I seemed destined for the kind of slow, torturous death that results from a broken heart.

“Garret, are you there?”

“Yeah…yeah.  I’m here.”

“Look I’m sorry for waking you up.  Umm…just give me a call sometime today. I just want to talk with you for a minute.”

“Alright,” I said before ending the call.

I remained in the floor for a few minutes, wondering just when I should go back to work.  It had been nearly three months since I’d came home for lunch and decided that I couldn’t return.  I knew that Maggie was struggling to hold everything together yet she never complained.  She had single handedly coordinated the Fall runway show, a task that would have been nearly impossible for even the most experienced designer, let alone someone who had only dealt with the financial side of the operation. 

Reluctantly I got to my feet, wincing slightly from the impact of my less than graceful descent.  I had an infinite number of things that needed to be done yet nothing that I wanted to do, other than see her again.

Her.  My Lauren.  Even the smallest thought of her left my senses reeling with memories of the citrus perfume she always wore, the smattering of freckles that she hide beneath her makeup.

As if by instinct I turned on my computer.  I’d never been a person to spend my free time online but in the last few weeks it had been my source of solace.  After a few clicks of the mouse I was safely home again, back to the place where I could set my demons free to the faceless multitudes that also found their refuge in the cyberworld.  Without a second thought, I logged on as Highlander6966 and began to write.


Username: Highlander6966
Date: October 23
Blog Entry:  247

I didn’t go in....again.  I set the alarm but I just couldn’t do it because I know exactly what will happen.  Everyone will flock around, telling me how great it is to have me back.  I’ll have to spend at least an hour idly chatting with each and every person.  Then I’ll go to my office where I’ll spend the rest of the day wondering why the hell I even bothered going back in the first place.

Clearly I’m a ball of optimism today! LOL 

I’m thinking that Friday will be a good day to go back.  The office will be half empty because everyone planning a long weekend will be gone and then everyone else will be cutting out early. Yep…I’ll go in on Friday.  Best of all, I’ll tell Lauren that I’ve definitely made my mind up to go back that day.  She’s been nagging me non stop about the need to get back out in the world.  This will prove to her that I’m well on my way to a full recovery.  That is until she looks into my eyes and realizes that I’m still hopelessly in love with her.

Oh well maybe if I wear sunglasses she won’t be able to tell! ;) Better get moving if I want to catch her at the coffee shop this morning.