Superman

Chuck and Norm sat on the couch with a dazed smile printed on their faces. The TV set, constantly on, overlaid the whole room with a bluish glow that made it look unreal. They didn’t talk. The only audibles sounds were the indefinite mumbling of the TV, the occasional bubbling hiss of the water-pipe and a constant background of hoarse giggles only broken by a sporadic cough.
“Hey? Are you stoned?” Chuck asked.
“Yeah, man,” replied Norm almost asleep.
“Dude, what’s up for tonight?” inquired Chuck.
“I don’t know man, you know there isn’t much to do in this town,” replied Norm, showing his reluctancy to communicate.
“Dude, let’s do something dumb,” Chuck insisted.
“Dude, live me alone,” Norm had no intention to keep up the chit-chat.
“Come on man! Let’s put on the costumes and go to Jennifer’s,” Chuck sounded enlightened.
“What costumes?” Norm was talking from his sleep and was barely understandable.
“Yeah man! What do you mean what costumes? You still have that Superman outfit right?!
I’ll put on my Bart Simpsons mask and we go to Jennifer’s and order coffee and pie!!” Chuck was almost ecstatic.
“All right dude, whatever, just quit talking ok?” said Norm, trying to dig himself out of the couch.

“This was a fucked up idea dude! It’s freezing! I’m freezing my balls here! We could have at least taken the car,” winter temperatures did not go very well with Norm’s thin polyester costume.
“Man, where’s the fun if nobody sees us? Ahahahah!” Chuck was definitely an idiot.
“Chuck you are definitely an idiot, you know that?” said Norm.
“Yeah! I know, ahhahhaa!!” Chucked had trouble breathing through the Bart Simpson’s mask.

They arrived at Jennifer's restaurant without meeting anybody on the way, it looked like a ghost town.
“Dude, we should have taken the car, you jackass!” This time Norm really sounded pissed off. He was shaking.

They entered and immediately realized that nobody else was there.
“Hey guys! Take a seat over there. I have already mopped the floor!”, Jennifer was not surprised at all to see Superman and Bart Simpson walk into her restaurant.

The two roommates sat, staring at their pies without talking.
Chuck had took off the mask to eat the pie, making Norm the only moron.
Norm stood up.
“Where are you going dude?” Asked Chuck.
“I have to take a leak,” replied Norm, irritated.

Chuck was staring at Jennifer’s tits when a bang drew his attention toward the entrance.
A chubby guy in a Spiderman costume had just stormed in, shattering the entrance door glass; he surely was on meth. For a moment Chuck found very funny the fact that he had noticed the chubbiness first, then the Spiderman costume, then the possibility that he might be on meth and finally the AK47. The fun lasted a bunch of seconds, then fear kicked in. For the first time he regretted having left the house.
“Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up everybody ok!!” Of course nobody was speaking except Spiderman. He screamed, ran and jumped in a very disturbing way, his voice muffled by the Spiderman mask, “Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up!” He definitely was on meth.

“Ok, ok, ok, uhhhhh, ok…you asshole come over here, down on your belly!” he said to Chuck pointing the large weapon at him. Chuck immediately obeyed, Chuck was no hero.

“You bitch, give me the money! And fill up a bag of them jerkies! I love jerkies!”

Chuck lied on his belly, whimpering; Jennifer filled up the bag with jerkies, Spiderman hissed and sniffed and produced a lot of creepy noises and tics. The whole trio shook uncontrollably.
This is the pretty picture that presented to Norm as he casually walked out of the bathroom.
Spiderman’s eyes met with Superman’s and the shaking stopped.

For a moment everybody froze.
Norm’s face became the same color of the cheese frosting on his pie.

“What the fuck?! What the fuck?!” muttered Spiderman: he looked terrified.
He brought his unarmed hand to his mouth, wide open in astonishment, looked at Superman for a couple of seconds, then turned around and walked slowly towards the entrance. He left quietly, his AK47 hanging low and harmless.

“What the fuck?!” said Jennifer almost without any voice, hardly believing what she had just witnessed. She was still clamping hard on the bag of jerkies. The cash register had not been touched.

Chuck got up, wiped his eyes and looked at Norm. Without talking, they agreed it was time to leave.
“Bye Jennie,” they said together.
“Bye guys.”

They walked home shuffling their feet, in silence. They didn’t feel cold anymore.
As they got home they sat on the couch and turned on the TV, watched it for a couple of hours, without a word being spoken.
“Dude, I’m going to bed,” said Norm breaking the long silence.
“Dude?” Chuck called him to turn around for a moment, smiling.
“What?” replied Norm.
“You know, Spiderman doesn’t stand a chance against Superman…he must have known.”

Norm walked towards his room without a reply.