The Journal

January 2, 2009
Once upon a time, I was a devoted member of Stories.com (yeah, that's how long ago it was).  For some reason or another, I went by the penname of Sasha (really, I have no idea why--my name is Sara), and lied about my age so I could write for the T-zine (I was, I think, about 12 at the time, but I said I was 19--again, I have no idea why I made up such an age difference).  Anyway, I stopped being a member around the time the name changed and they started charging for a bunch of stuff.  I got frustrated by the new rules and the restrictions they put on non-paying accounts, and eventually stopped updating.  I didn't update for so long, in fact, that my account got deleted.  I'm still a little sad about that, actually, because I lost several stories that I hadn't bothered to back up any other way.  Plus, I was a Preferred Writer (I think that's what they call it when you have the yellow briefcase--like I said, it's been a while). 

Anyway, I was thinking about it, and I realized that this is a website I could post stuff (like a journal, for example) and no one I know would ever find it.  This is just not the type of site my friends are into.  So I thought maybe I would give the whole thing another go.  I'd like to try writing short stories again--it's been a while.  Especially original stories.  I've been devoted to fanfiction for a long time, but I'd like to get back into original stories.  Also, I'd like to try this site out again and actually be me.  Like I said, my name is Sara, today is my 20th birthday (see how long it's been since I was on this site?), I'm a geology major at the University of Michigan, and I like to write.

January 6
Looked over the syllabus to my Spanish class today and had a mild heart attack.  I really don't know what I was thinking.  I'm done with the language requirement.  It just seems silly to put so much work into Spanish, and then stop before I actually get passable with the language.  Except I seem to have forgotten that I'm not actually good at Spanish.  Or, that is, I'm decent at Spanish until I actually try to speak it.  I can get a good solid B+ or A- on the written exam, but I choke during office hours with my professor.

I remembered what I liked most about this site when I was a member before--it was the contests.  Not just winning (although that was always fun, and great motivation), but that the prompts and such made me write stories I wouldn't have otherwise.  And every now and then I would end up writing something I was really proud of from a bunch of random prompts. 

That was also one of the reasons I was so frustrated when the rules changed, and there were suddenly restrictions on how many items a free member could have in their portfolio.  I had an entire folder full of contest entries.  I think I actually transferred a bunch of files to a floppy (floppy?  Was I really using floppies?  It couldn't have been that long ago) but then lost it.  I couldn't decide which items to cut from my portfolio, so I just quit the site and ended up losing them all.  For anyone who hasn't been around that long though, back in the day you could have as many portfolio items as you wanted for free.  It sucked having that taken away.  I was way too young to have a credit card then, and my parents totally didn't understand why I needed to give money to a website.

January 13
Money issues are really killing me right now.  I have $250 in rent due in two weeks, plus I still need 4 of my textbooks, and I have a $90 lab fee to pay.  Sooner or later my Spanish teacher is going to realize there's a reason I don't volunteer any answers in class:  I can't do the homework because I don't have the book.

January 14
I worked at Dairy Queen for four years, all through high school.  One night, I was out in the lobby, mopping up for the night and there was a table of people still sitting there finishing up their ice cream.  I accidently sloshed water onto the foot of the man sitting on the outer edge of the booth.  I was really embarrassed, and apologized immediately.  "Don't worry," he told me.  "It's fake anyway."  He then lifted up his pant leg enough to show me that he did, in fact, have an artificial leg. 

Seriously, what are the odds? 

I don't know why that popped into my head.  I was trying to think of funny things that have happened to me, and that was the best one that came up.  I think I want to write a short story about that some day.

January 16
When I get to work, I'm going to eat a ton of ice cream.  Even more than usual.  It's been so long since I'm had something yummy.  Everything at the apartment is super cheap "filler" foods...Spaghetti-O's, potpies, Ramen, canned soup...Even my own secret stash of Poptarts and such is running ridiculously low.  I don't know what we'll do when we run out of food.  All the money is going to gas. 

January 21
I feel the need to rant about all the issues I have with those ridiculously popular Twilight books, but I don't have the time.  How come I always think of cute/funny things to write when I'm in the middle of class, but when I get to a computer, everything comes out whiny?  I'm really not a whiny person.  Well, not any more than usual.

February 2
I love the dress Michelle Obama wore for the inaugeration ball.  It was gorgeous.  My only thing was it reminded me a little too much of a wedding dress, but whatever.  White shouldn't be only for weddings.  It was an amazing dress.  I can't imagine being a basically unknown designer like that, and then all of a sudden the new First Lady is wearing your dress to the inaugeration ball.  I think it'd be kind of like if I magically wrote a ridiculously popular book--like if I was JK Rowling!  Although, actually, I don't want to be a writer, I want to be a paleontologist, so I guess it would be more like if I discovered some crazy-important dinosaur fossil.  But even then, the only people that would really care would be paleontologists....and maybe biologists, if it revealed something important about evolution. 

I would like to write a book someday, though.  I've tried a couple of times, but the closest I've ever gotten was the ridiculous 100,000+ epic of an Animorphs fanfiction I wrote when I was 12.  It got some positive reviews of fanfiction.net (they love me there), but it was essentially the worst type of fanfiction: Mary Sue.  I didn't even bother renaming the character.  Yep, I called her Sara.  And of course I hooked her up with Marco, because if I wasn't going to do that, then what would be the point?

BTW, some one gave me a free Upgraded Membership.  I'm not really sure why, since I barely have anything in my profile, but I do appreciate it.  Although maybe it's just something the site does to try and entice me into buying more upgrades once this one expires.  If it was just an honestly nice gesture by a nice person, though, then thanks, I appreciate it.  Now I can enter all the contests I want!

February 3
I suck at organic chemistry.  Although I don't know how it happened.  I went to all the lectures.  I felt fairly confident about most of the material.  And now, I just went to a discussion session (exam in 1 1/2 hours and counting) and the people there were reviewing things I had never heard of.  Was there some secret lectures I missed or something?  How did this happen?

I just realized I have 4,666 gift points.  That can't be a good sign.

February 4
I HATE THE COLD.  Seriously.  When is this whole winter thing going to be over?  Because I am not loving it.  Looking forward to CSI and ER tonight.

March 27
I almost flipped out on a woman in the Financial Aid office today because I found out the school took away a $330 grant I had been awarded.  I think she was actually a nice lady, but I was rude anyway because I was so upset.  I was able to keep my cool until I went to walk away and she told me that it was need-based.  I didn't say half the things I wanted to, but that is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard.  What I did say was that the school knows nothing about my financial need.  My parents are lower middle class, and are in debt because my mother has a gambling problem.  Yet the Expected Family Contributions for me and my sister are $7000 a year (each).  I'm originally from Flint, MI which is about as ghetto as it gets, but the school doesn't give me shit in financial aid, and I strongly suspect it's because I'm white (I'm going to avoid the rant about how much I hate it when minorities get extra aid or whatever because they supposedly come from worse backgrounds.  It's bullshit.).  I was so upset--what is $330 to the school?  Nothing.  The University of Michigan gives away more than that in free t-shirts every year.  What is it to me?  It's getting the brakes fixed on my car.  They're completely out (again) and yet I have to keep driving it because I can't afford to live on campus.  Even right now, I have to keep worrying about the fact that my boyfriend could have crashed because the brakes don't work.

Life is so completely unfair.  I am totally moving to France if the opportunity ever comes up--if I have kids, I don't want them to have to worry about paying for college like I have.