Love Again?

Love Again?

“Lyriana, did you hear me?” Joshua asked, taking in my dazed expression. I looked away from his prying eyes. I knew that he couldn’t see… he couldn’t understand the pain those words had caused me. “I like you, will you be my girlfriend?” he had whispered in complete adoration. It's only a phase, a promise that one cannot keep. I was already broken…and yet someone wanted to crush the already crumbled pieces. Staring at the ground, a teardrop slipped and cascaded down my face. And I felt it. The sharp pain, as it sliced my already damaged heart along scars that had never fully healed.

“Can you please look at me?” Joshua asked concerned and confused. I stiffened as I felt his hand, gently glancing upon my chin. He dropped his hand…and I desperately wished that he would do it again…lovingly caress my face with his gentle, rough hands. He did! But I turned my face away. Why… was he tempting me to say yes, why does he want to break me? He whispered to me the words again. In a tornado, my body was encased in memories of when I trusted to much, loved to hard, and fell in love…but nobody caught me, as I fell. My body was captured in the hurricane of feelings that whirled around my insides, hurt, anger, pain, regret, love, disappointment, and strongest of all…foreboding. I was not ready to crash into rough, unyielding and harsh earth…as I fell in love. Without one word, I abruptly turned and ran away… and to my grave disappointment, I heard no pursuit behind me. I guess even when I say no, those scars will reopen anyway. sitting upon a convenient log, I wept, wept because of the pain of past loves and the pain of the loss of one more chance at true love...