Seventh Nervous Breakdown

I see you,
but I do not know
how to look past your face.
how to ignore, or try to disguise
the ways you can make me feel.

How could I tell you
how badly I want
to hold
to touch
to be.
How can I cherish
the passing of time,
when this love can never be?

I learn to repress
emotion, desire
scared, disillusioned-
how should I be?
I am growing tired
of others' ideals
always penetrating me.
I'm sore...


then I'm back for more.