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Rated: E · Fiction · Fantasy · #1508740
This is only the first chapter... I need constructive critizim on it please...
                                                       Chapter 1


         Jetson Taylor sat in the audience of the greatest magic show in the U.S.  The Conductor was introducing the act where a young boy would escape from a padlocked box, and his hands and feet tied by a person in the audience. The people picked from the audience usually, worked with the magicians and were trained so the magicians wouldnt be injured.
         The main reason this was the greatest magic show in the U.S. was because, First off, the tricks the magicians all actually preformed the trick with out flaw. And Two, because they used the most famous or best magicians they could find. For example, even though he wasn't Houdini The kid that was on stage now, Brady Christopher,  was just as good. They also used Shaman Heed and George Adyson, But best of all was Jessica Croobie, Jetsons Step-sister. Even though she wasnt famous her act on stage drew the most attention from the crowd.
         First two prepicked audience members went on stange to tie her hands and feet. Jetson was one of those who was chose, as always. Then she was hooked to a cable and hoisted above a glass water tank. The cable then let go of her and She was dropped in. A curtain dropped down around her as the contuctor ushered Jetson and who ever else was chosen off the stage.  He would walk back to his spot and raise his arms over his head. The curtain would detatch at the top and fall to the ground reavealing Jessica standing there soaked with both ropes in her hands and the top of the tank still closed.
          It drew the most attention from the crowd because it was the only trick in the show that there was a possiblility of an accident. But what the crowd didnt know was that With Jessica there would be no accident. At lest in Jetsons mind.
          Jetson drew his thoughts back as his sisters name was mention on the stage. Her act was up next.He shifted in his seat and Jessica walk out on stage. "Now this beautiful young lady," The conducter said walking up behind Jessica and placing his hand on her hip. "will escape from a water tank in less than one minute! But wait there is a catch," the conuctor contiued as a ripple of boredom echoed through the crowd. "Her hands and feet will be tied!" Another ripple come form the crowd but not of boredom this time is was awe.
          Jetson smiled as Jessica removed the mans hand from her hip and stepped away form him saying, "What this man is trying to say is that he needs two MEN from the audience who know how to tie a tight knot to come up my hands and feet."
         She walked off the stage and looked over the men with their hands up. She pointed to a teen who was in the middle area, 3 rows back and edge seat. Kavi. She asked him to go up on the stage and wait for her to pick her second choice. She wandered up and down the rows till she came to stand beside Jetson's seat. The fifth row back inside seat on the far right side. "And you. She said to him with a smile, reaching down her hand to help him to his feet.
         Jetson ignored her hand and stood to his feet. He followed her up to the stage where she took the microphone and had Kavi introduce himself. "I am John Smithsian." Kavi said using his favorite alias. His disguise was also his favorite. He was dressed in a straight suit with a tall black hat, a small goatee on his chin made him look ridiculessly young but no one seemed to notice or no one told him if they did.
         Jessica then handed the microphone to Jetson and asked him to introduce himself. Jetson leand over to the microphone and said. "Ill pass. These people dont need to know who i am. That is none of their business." He leaned back on his heels as Jessica glared at him.  "Very well." She said then took the ropes from the conductor as he walked back out form back stange with them in his hands. Handing one to Kavi, She told him to tie her hands and then told Jetson to tie her feet. Jetson bent over and tied her feet together and stood up. Walking over beside Kavi he whisperd, "Did you get the right knot? I dont want her to fall."
         Kavi nodded lightly. "Yes." The expression in his face was confident so Jetson took his word for it. The cable lifted his sister off the ground and over the tank. The knot on top slipped as the helpers opened the top of the tank. "You did not!" Jetson hissed through clenched teeth.  Kavi looked inoccent. "I thought I did. A double slip-knot for the hands right?" His voice shook light as Jessica splashed into the water, and the curtain came down.
         The conductor turned to the two boys standing at the edge of the stage. "You two may return to your seats." His voice was stiff and his eyes were directly on Kavi. Kavi looked at his feet as he stepped off the stage and rushed back to his seat.
         The curtain dropped just as Jetson sat down. Jessica was standing by the side of the tank. He dark hair was drenched and stuck to her face. She bowed as a few in the crowd clapped. Jetson clapped loudly and leaned to the person next to him. "This is a really tough crowd! That was amazing." The person sitting next to him didnt say anything for a while then scribbled on some papers. "The one who tied the know at the top didnt tie it right. She slipped." Jetson sat up strait and looked at the woman sitting by him. He dark eyes were on the paper in front of her. Even though this woman was right, Jetson was astonished. Yes, Kavi had tied the wrong knot but when Jessica had slipped she had made it look like the crane was wiggling. No one in the audience should have been able to tell the difference.
                      He glance at the paper that she was holding. It was on a clip board and the paper was crisp and clean other than a few notes and Eraser shavings. suddenly he knew who she was and why she was here. She was criticing them, deciding if they were good enough to go to the finals, the champion magic shows got to go there. A world wide event where  "The best of The best" competed to find out who was the greatest magicians in the world.
          The show ended after two more tricks, the bullet catch and the tansported man. Jetson stood with the crowd to clap and left with them too. After he was outside he waited for Kavi like he said he would then pulled his friend down and alley with him explaining while they were running. "The critic was here!" He hissed as he opened the back door and ran down under the stage.
          Jessica looked worried when they ran down the stairs. "When that rope slipped I was so scared." She breathed so that Kavi couldn't hear.
            "You covered it up well though." Jestson replied "But she still saw!" He told her amazed. "
           "Who?" Jessica asked pulling him aside.
         "The critic." Jetson told her. "I think we are going to go to finals!" he grabbed both of her shoulders and shook her. "We'll get to go see the world!"
         Jessica smiled and pictured Jetson riding his motorcycle up the side of Everest. "Yeah!" She wiggled form his grasp and backed off. "You better go tell Sam, or you wont be able to go!" She gave him a push and  took off after him when he started running.
         Jetson pulled to a stop in front of the ofice where he could hear yelling and knew Kavi was being chew out for tying the wrong knot. He thought hed save his friend by stepping through the door
         "She could have died or-" Sam the conductor stopped when he saw Jetson open the door. "Yes?"
         Jetson took a look at Kavi who had sunk so low in the chair that only a mess of brown hat hair was all you could see. "I need to tell you something. IMPORTANT."
         Sam glared at Kavi and then at Jetson. "Well spill." He told him and sat down in his chair.
         Kavi sat up a little straighter and turned to Jetson. "Do i need to leave?" His eyes were almost pleading.
         Jetson held back a smile but the corner of his mouth twitched."Yes." he said dismissing his friend who had the same thoughts as Jetson. If my news is good enough maybe he'll forget about Kavi... For now. After Kavi had practically ran out the door Jetson sat in the seat where Kavi had been and began. "After Jessicas trick I tried to get the lady next to me clapping but she didnt and when I glanced at the papers she was holding i realized that she was the Critic."
         Sams eyes grew about twice their size and he leaned forward. "Were you able to catch what she wrote?"
         Jetson looked at his feet. "No her writing was too small but towards the end of the show I caught that she was smiling."
         "Well a smiles good enough." Sam said then a knock at the door inturpted the conversation.
         Kavi stepped in. "Sir," he said scratching his arm an looking at the ground. "There is someone here to see you." He opened to door wider and the woman that had sat next to Jetson stood squarely behind the small boy.
         Jetson gawked at her. In the dark showroom she had looked very put together and beautiful. she was very put together but the beautifulness was gone. her dark brown hair cascaded down her back like that of a Jessica's, but this womans was curled in big ringlets. That was the only beautiful part about her though. Her dark eyes were narrow and squinty, her forehead was gone and her nose looked to big for her face. Off to the side of that was a huge mole that had a dyed black hair sticking straight out of it. Her unibrow came together forming a black line accoss the middle of her missing forehead as she looked at him.
         It took a minute but soon a spark of reconognition sparked in her eyes. She smiled and her eyes moved up and down his body inspecting him.  "I am Sorrya. As i think this boy has told you." She crossed teh room and ruffled Jetsons hair. "Very bright." She muttered and then sat down in the chair Jetson had sat in. " Now if we could have a minute i have something to tell your wonderful contuctor." She said dismissing Jetson and Kavi.
         They left with out a word and immeadiatly crossed to Jessica. "Im sorry" Kavi started in "about the ro-"
         Jessica stuck her hand in his face and Smiled. "Shut up." She told him her eyes glittering. "It was an adventure." Kavi tried to smile but it didnt come so he just stayed silent. He pulled Jetson off to the side and looked at his shoes. "Can i spend the night at your and Jess's house?"
         "Your dad going at it agian?" Jetson said looking at his friend.
         "Yeah, said he dont like this magic stuff and if i came home tonight he'd kill me. Im really scared. I think he meant it too."
         Jetson put his hand on Kavis shoulder. Kavi shuddered a little and Jetson didnt blame him. His father was a drunkard and his mom had died at Kavis birth. His older sister was 21 and moved out. She still checked in but it seemed the only time she checked in was when Their dad seemed sober. "Lets see where he hit you this time." Kavi turned around and pulled up hsi shirt. A huge black bruise took up half the space on his back and moved or on to his hip. Jetson gingerly touched it but Kavi dropped his shirt and turned back around so fast that Jetson had to look to see if he still had his hand.
         "How'd he do that one?"  Jessica asked coming up behind Jetson.
         Kavi looked emarrassed, his eyes flickering from Jetson to Jessica. "A bat." He looked at the ground under his feet and almost whispered the next word, "and his feet."
         Jessicas eyes widened. Her face was suddenly pale and she asked. "He had you on the ground?" Kavi was sixteen, seventeen in two months, a year older than Jessica and Jetson, but the abuse of his father had made him tough and rarely did his dad get him to the ground.
         " I have a broken rib i think, but maybe your mom could fix that?" Kavi stuttered.
         "Of course, and she'll welcome you with open arms." A new voice said behind them.
         Jessica turned around and hugged her mom. "Mom! You came to pick us up this time!"
         "I got off work early and-" Jessicas mom was cut off but a 'Yahoo' and what sounded like a door breaking down.
         Sam ran over to Jetson and picked him up. Swinging him around he yelled "I love you kid! I LOVE YOU!"
         "Put me down Sam." Jetson commanded and Sam just about dropped him.
         "We made it to the finals because of you kid! She loved you. She said the way youworked the audience to like it was awesome. She loved it. Your the reason we made it and-" he turned on Jessica. "My superstar! She said the way you made the crane swing when the knot slipped was brilliant and that she'd never seen that before! And you-" he turned to Kavi. "Your disugise was the best. she absolutely adored it. I was going to fire you but with your creative mind, you'll make it to the big time. All ya'll will make it to the big time!" he whirled around hugged Jessicas mom and ran off, clicking his heels every few steps.
         "Wow." Jetson said
         "Yes." Kavi whispered to himself
         "We did it." Jessica muttered.
         "Yes you did!" Jessicas mom, Mia, told them pulling all three teens into a hug.
         "Mom, Kavi's gonna stay with us for a while." Jessica's voice was muffled. "He'll wear Jetsons clothes. They might be big but they'll fit."
          "Well then lets get going. i need to get home before Andy gets home, and have diner ready." She released the kids and walked toward the door.
         The kids followed quickly knowing she'd leave them behind if they werent out there in time.
         Kavi stopped at the door of the limo that Mia had ridden in here. "I can't just leave my bike." With a glance back at the alley he was gone. An engine roared to life and Kavi skidded out of the alley on his bike. "I'll follow you." Kavis voice was muffled under the helmet.
         "Are you sure?" Mia asked.
         Kavi just nodded. Waiting till the limo was far enough ahead he roared the engine and sped out after them. He caught up quicker than he had thought and had to slow down so he wouldnt pass them or make a wrong turn. As they reached the Taylors mansion he slowed to allow the Taylors limo to pull ahead and into the garage.
         Jetson got out and ran over to open the gate to the back allowing him to park his motocycle without having to worry about it. "I need to go back for Kevin and Kassidy. Kora can take care of herself but i dont want Kevin and Kassidy to be hurt when I don't come home. I mean my dad gets really mad when I don't come home to help."  Kavi said revving the engine on his bike. "Can i bring them back here?" He asked looking at his shoes.
         "Sure. Ill make up some extra beds in case you bring Kora back too. You know your family is always welcome." Jetson said with a smile.
         "Of course you'll want me to bring Kora back too." Kavi responded with a laugh. "Well, ill see if she wants to come. Ill be back later. If im not back by morning please dont worry. My dad might not be drunk tonight. I might stay and try to talk him into throwing out the beer." A spark of hope flashed through the older boys eyes. "But just in case..." and the hope was gone. Kavi revved the engine and pulled down his helmet. He shot off down the street waving back at Jetson. "Seeya!" Then he turned the corner and Jetson shut the gate, closed the lock on it but left the key in the rain gutter where kavi could find it if he came back, and turned to run into the house.
         When he got into the house Jessica was already telling Mia about her trick. "I wish you could have been there. It was the best one and Kavi tied the knot wrong so it was a chall-" She stopped when she heard Jetson come in. Looking behind him as if she expected him to walk in as she said it she asked "Where's kavi?"
         "He went home to get Kevin and Kassidy." Jetson respond then began to smile. "And possibly Kora."
         Mia smiled and looked past him at the living room. "Kevin and Kavi can sleep in your room," She paused to look at Jessica. "I know you dont like Kora but can Kassidy sleep in your room, Kora can sleep on the couch."
         Jessica smiled. "Sure, Kassidy is so cute. Her and Kevin are like perfect. Kora though, shes a different story, She can sleep on the couch." She said the walked to the Hall closet to get some blankets. "Here," She said tossing a bunch of blankets at Jetson. "You make Kavi, Kevin and Koras beds. I need to work on Kassidys. "It has to be perfect." She grabbed a bunch a blankets and walked off towards the stairs."
         Mia turned to Jetson. "Let me know when they get here. I want to look and see if they are alright. Kavi might needs some painkillers for that rib if hes gonna have a good night sleep. I might be asleep but please wake me. I dont mind." She yawned and headed for the stairs. "Lock the front door but not the back. Your father will lock the garage door when he comes home. "Leave a note telling him about Kavi and not to lock the back door." She yawned again. "Remember to make Koras bed look nice. Girls are a lot pickier than guys." She started up the stairs. "I want you in bed by 12:00, whether Kavi and his siblings are here or not. I have to get to work early so ill make breakfast for you all and leave it in the Fridge, You'll need to warm it up but you'll be fine." She called from the top of the stairs. "Now get to wrk on those beds. Its 10:30. Night." A door shut and Jetson smiled. "I will." He said half to himself. Picking through the blankets he pulled out the nicer looking ones and walked over to the couch trying to make a 'pretty' bed.


         ************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

         Kavi pulled up to the run down trailer where his father, his aunt, and his two younger siblings lived. He killed the engine and coasted into the rocky drive way and parked his bike. He took off his helmet and hung in on the handle bars. Wlked up the the front door he could already hear his father yelling. He let out a sigh and walked in the door. "Im gonna kill that boy! Stop crying kid! STOP IT! Boys dont cry!" Kavi heard and shreik and knew Kassidy was watching Kevin go through what Kavi had gone through. He cleared his throat and called, "Im home." The yelling stopped and he heard his fathers heavy foot steps. Closing his eyes he could hear his Father yelling. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?! Ive been waiting for you, go in there and stop your wimpy brother from crying." Smack! "Are you listening to me? Go in there now!" The back of Kavis head hurt as he started forward.
         "Kev, Kass, Where are ya guys, Its Kavi. "He called softly knowing how they reacted to yelling. He heard a soft squeak but it was cut short as if a hand had just been placed over the persons mouth.
         "Shut up Kassidy, Dad used that last time to get us to come out. Dont you remember?" Kavi heard a younger kid whisper.
         "Dont put your hand on my mouth, thats gross, and that actuallysounds like Kavi. I only came out last time because I wanted it to be Kavi and sometimes if you want things enough they'll come true." A higher pitched voice sounded but was more muffeled at the end.
         "Oh Shut up. Our luck doesnt run that way. Ow! Your on my foot you Big Oof." and he knew where they were. Walking to the back of the hall he opened the hall closet and had to stand on his toes to see the top shelf.
         "Kevins not here he ran away. Its just me dad, Kassidy." A young blonde girl immeadiatly said.
         "Its Kavi and I know Kevs up there, C'mon, Ill help you down. Oh and Kevin Be nice. No name calling."  He reached up and pulled Kassidy toward him placing her on the ground he reached up for Kevin only to find empty space. "C'mon Kev." He felt a hand brush his and grabbed, Hauling his kicking and screaming brother off the shelf he placed his hand over the younger boys mouth and leaned down so there were eye level. "We're going to go the Jetsons, go get packed and help your sister. We'll leave after dad goes to sleep, Which shouldnt be too soon seeing how drugged up he is tonight." He gave the two a push towards the back room but neither of the kids moved foward.
         "To Jessies?!" Kassidy asked her eyes sparkling.
         "And Jetsons?" Kevin asked.
         "Yup. We're gonna get hot showers and their mom is going to fix us up." Kavi said ruffling Kassidy's hair. "Now go on. So we can get there faster!" He gave the two another push towards the room and then turned around to face his older sister Kora who had walked in and turned their dads rage into sobs.
         Kora had light brown hair and hazel eyes, just like Kavi. She was fit and thin and at times Kavi could see why Jetson liked her. But he always knew Jetson didnt really know her real personality. She thought she was better than everyone else because she was a Psychiatrist and had loads of money.
          "Why are you takin them there? What has dad ever done to you guys?" She said hands on her hips.
         Kavi opened his mouth the respond but was cut off by one of their fathers wails. "OOOOOh My Shayla! Why'd she have to leave me! Kora, My only perfect child, Why'd she have to go, WHY? why? Why Why why!?!"
         Kora looked back towards the small living room. "Its okay dad, Ill be out in a second." She turned back to Kavi. "Nevermind i know what you will say, That dad beats you all, your just taking them to save them from his horrible rath."
         Kavi glared at her. "He does beat us. I have a bruise on my back from a bat and I think he broke a few of Kevs teeth this time." He turned and lifted his shirt so his sister could see the bruise.
         "Dont you go blaming dad because you fell at your stupid magic show, and Kevin we all know he loves to climb. He probably fell out of a tree." She pulled his shirt down and spun him back around. "I dont see anything on Kassidy."
         "Thats cause he doesnt hit Kassidy, Shes a girl. But she sits there and watches him beat Kevin. But you can stay here if you like. They prepared a bed for you too, the Taylors did. But im taking them and leaving here. We'll come back when dads better." Kavi said he whirled around and called "C'mon guys, guess were leaving now."  He walked to the back room grabbed a half packed bag and the arms of two protesting kids and walked towards the door.
         "Kavi dont do it. It will just make dad madder." Kora said.
         "O so now you know how mad he gets. Are you scared of a man that doesnt abuse his kids?" Kavi asked sarcasticly. Pushing Kevin and Kassidy ahead of him he grabbed the two smaller helmets and walked out the door. "Get on the back. Put your helmets on. Hold on tight. Im going to go fast." He got the two kids on and revved the motocycle. He took off down the road just as Kora came out. "Kavi!" She yelled but her voice was drowned out as Kavi revved the engine.

         ***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

         Jetson got the beds ready and walked into Jessicas bedroom and sat on her bed. "Whats up?" He asked trying to start a convorsation because he was bored.
         "Just getting my room ready for Kassies arrival." Jessica said coming out of her closet with a pair of slippers atop a set of small pink pajamas.
         "Sounds fun." Jetson said with a fake smile. "I got Kora, Kavi, and Kevins beds all put together. What do you think we should do tonight?"  A regular smile returned to his face. "A movie or a game?"
         "Why can't we do both?" Jessica asked giving him a mischievous glare.
         "Cause it will take to long. They have school tomarrow. I doubt Kavi will want them to miss."
         "Well then we will let them decide." Jessica went back to her work, putting a the pajamas on the pillow of the bed she had made on her window seat. "We haven't seen Kevin and Kassie for ages! I wonder if she'll still fit on here." she mumbled and Jetson was sure she was talking to herself.
         Jetson glanced at the clock. "Time for bed.  Mom said 12:00 and I know it will take you at least a half hour to get ready. So, night!" He slipped out of her room and over to his. Changing into his pajamas he crawled into bed and was soon asleep.


         Ping! "Jetson wake up!" Ping! another rock hit Jetson's window and Kavi prepared to throw another rock.
         "What?" Jetson stuck his head out of the window rubbing his eyes.
         Startled, Kavi threw the stone he had in his hand. Thwack!
         "Dude! That was my head not the window" Jetson said pulling back.
         "What do you think? All the doors are locked and I couldn't find the key to the back door!" Kavi said.
         "Hey Jetson! Where is Jessica?" Kassidy called up to him. "What are we going to do tonight?"
         Jetson ignored Kassidy. "Ill be right down to unlock the door. Sorry I forgot I hadn't left a note for my dad not to lock it." Then he completely disapeared from the window.
         A few minutes later he was at the door. He opened it and let Kavi and his siblings in. A clear badage was stuck to his forehead about at his hairline. "What up little man!" He said giving Kevin a high five. "Jessicas up in her room. C'mon. She switched rooms last week so I'll show you." He lead the group up the stairs. turning at the top he stopped at his parents door and pointed down the hall. "Down three dorrs and to the left." Kassidy squealed and ran off. "Mines right across from there. I'll meet you in there."  he opened the door to his parents room and slipped inside.
         Shaking Jessica's mom slightly he whispered "Kavi, Kevin and Kassidy are here. You said you wanted to look over them." He shook her harder and she groaned.
         "Ok I'm up. I'm up. I'll be out in a second. Let me grab my stuff." She rolled over and swung her legs out of bed. She yawned stretched and then looked down. "I'll meet you in your room." She said, stretched again then stood up.
         Jetson slipped out and ran down the hall to his room. Kavi was sitting on his bed and Kevin was going through his closet trying to find the toy robots that Jetson always kept around for him. "They're in the top buddy." Jetson said and smiled. "So I'll have to get them for you." He laughed and sat down by Kavi. "My mom is going to come in and check you guys over. She wanted to." He said as Kavi opened his mouth to protest.
         Kevin stood there impaiteintly tapping his foot. "Why dont you get them then?"
         Jetson smiled and said "'Cause i need you out of the room first."
         Kevin's shoulders visibly sagged. "Well then can we go up in your attic? Please?" He perked up and looked towards the ladder, on Jetsons wall, that dissapeared into the ceiling.
         "Yeah I guess." Jetson said. "Just be careful. Don't break anything."
         Kevin Squealed and practicly ran up the ladder just as Jessica and Kassidy came in.
         Kassidy was dressed in the pajamas Jessica had gotten out for her. She must have saw Kevins foot dissapear into the celing because suddenly she squealed too, clapping her hands. "The attic! Can i go too? Oh Please?" She was basicly on her knees begging.
         "Yeah." Jetson rolled his eyes and she was at the ladder before anyone could protest. "Just dont break anything!" He called after her.
         Jessica sat on the bed next to Kavi. "So he was really bad this time huh?" She said and both boys knew she was talking about Kavi's father.
         Kavi flinched but responded. "Yeah." He sighed like he had been holding his breath forever.
         Mia walked in with her docters bag and the three kids were automaticly silent. "Well Kavi," She said and glanced around the room When she saw the ladder the realization struck her and she held the question in. "How is it this time?" She said turning to Kavi, though she knew the answer because he wouldn't be here if it wasn't bad.
         Kavi sighed again. "Could be better." He said matter-of-factly.
         "Well lets see.: Mia said and motioned for Kavi to turn around.
         Just then there was a loud crashing sound from the attic and then a "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Jetson sighed and started toward the ladder. "Ill be right back." He said and Scurried up the ladder.
         The Taylor's attic was basicly their game room. On the far wall was a pool table and opposite that was a large plasma TV with a huge couch which had gaming equipment spead out all over it. Jetson was into photography and his pictures were hung at odd angles on the walls part of an abstract design he had tried to throw together. Between the TV and the pool table sat a small hot tub, and basicly a whole kitchen which now had shards of glass scattered along the counters. The whole area was lit with neon lights which really accented how large the area was.
         Kevin looked at Jetson as he came up the stairs. "She did it." He said pointing at his sister who glared at him but didnt deny it. Jetson knew better.
© Copyright 2008 Ben N' Riley (black_wings14 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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