Christmas for Eternity

"Lord, have mercy! What was that?" whispered Chris nervously as he popped upright in bed.  It was 2:45 AM on Christmas Morning.

"What?" grumbled his wife sleepily, as she rolled over pulling what little bit of covers that Chris had managed to find during the night completely off of him.

"I thought I heard something.  Since we're awake, Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Chri . . st. . . .zzzzzz," replied his wife as she drifted back off to sleep.

Chris stepped out of bed and made his way towards the door of the bedroom.  The couple's smallest dog growled at him as he made his way past her.  She was not happy about being disturbed.  Their biggest dog, Riley, had been curled in a ball near the door.  As Chris opened the door she groaned.

"Shhhh!" whispered Chris.  "Come on, lets check it out, Riley."

Riley stood up, stretched, and headed back towards the bed.  She jumped up and took Chris' side of the bed.

"Thanks," whispered Chris.  He tiptoed out into the family room.

There was nothing out of the ordinary in the family room, and Chris quickly found the light switch.  The lights came on, and showed most of the family room, kitchen, and some of the living room.  Towards the far end of the house in the living room was a night light.  Chris could see the night light and a little of what was being lit around it, but not much else over there.  He started tip toeing towards the light switch to the living room to get a full glimpse of the other side of the house.

He arrived at the switch and put his hand up to switch it on when he noticed the night light flicker.  His arms shook, and he rested his hand against the wall next to the switch.  He was temporarily frozen from freight.
He gained the courage to flick the light switch and the lights to the living room came on.

Chris looked around, but he did not see anything out of the ordinary.  He walked over and looked behind the couch, but nothing was their either.  He walked over towards the hallway heading to the back two rooms and bathroom.  If anyone was inside the house, this was where the would have to be.

He quickly swung open the door to the nursery they were setting up for a new baby due the next year.  The crib, dresser drawers, and rocking chair were all untouched.

"What a great painting job I did in here," Chris thought to himself as he closed the door, and headed back down the hall to the bathroom on the right.

Again, he quickly swung open the door and looked around in the bathroom.  He walked to the shower and pulled back the curtain, but no one was lurking in the shower.  He left the light on, and exited the bathroom.

He headed back to the hall and faced the last door in the house to check.  He put his ear up to it to see if he could hear anything.  He held his breath, so he could get complete silence.

There it was! There was that noise!  Chris, being scared to death, ran quietly towards the open closet in the living room.  He grabbed a baseball bat, and ran softly back towards the unopened door.  He stretched out his had to knock.

Knock. Knock. Knock!

"Who's in there?" shouted Chris.

Silence was all that was there.

"I've got a bat, and I'm coming in swinging if you don't tell me who you are!"

Still, nothing was heard.  He reached towards the handle of the door, and he twisted the knob.  The bat was in his right hand ready to swing.

In one swift movement he shoved up the door, and switched the light.

"Oh my God!!" shouted Chris.

A large white haired fat man in a red suit was stuck in the window.

"Um.  I seem to have gotten myself into a little pickle here, Sonny.  Do you mind helping me out?" said the man stuck in the window.

Chris stood silent for the moment.  He stared at the man in disbelief.

"Are. . .Are you . . . . Santa?" asked Chris.

"Why, yes, Sonny. I am.  Your house seems to be my logistics hub this year for North America.  All of our deliveries come and go through your house.  It changes every year, and this year is actually the first year I have been caught.  Sorry for scaring you"

"I don't understand.  What?" inquired Chris.

"You see, every Christmas, I have millions and millions of deliveries to make.  I  have to have a centralized hub to use to regroup.  Our logistics group at Santa, Inc. is really quite fantastic.  They work all year round to figure out the correct routes and drop locations.  Your house came up as the most feasible location to stop in between runs.  Let me show you something."

Santa opened the closet to the room.  In the closet was what looked to be like a portal.  It glowed brightly.

"We set up this portal to an empty room each year.  Come with me."

Chris laid the bat down and headed towards the closet.  Santa stepped through the portal and disappeared.  Chris could not believe what he just saw.  He had to know what was going on, so he followed after.

When the darkness ended, he was standing next to Santa in what looked to be like an assembly line floor.  There were thousands of tiny little men going to work scurrying this way and that.  They were making toys, packaging toys, and putting the toys in a staging area.

"It really is a flawless system I've got running here.  I take the toys through the portal to your closet, climb through your window and hop in the sleigh that is sitting in your side yard.  I've strategically placed the sleigh and reindeer's where your neighbors cannot see them."

"Wow, this is amazing!" shouted Chris.

"Yep, it took me thousands of years to create this factory, and it has taken me hundreds of years to assemble my team.  I'm alway looking for more members."

"Well, this is wonderful.  I would love to show my wife.  Can we go back and get her?"

"Ho ho ho!" laughed Santa.  "Ho ho ho!".  He grinned from ear to ear.

Santa stood for a moment, grinning at Chris.

"Um, well, can we?"

Santa raised his hand and snapped.  Before he knew it, ten elves were surrounding the two of them.

"You know what to do," said Santa as he stepped out of the circle that the elves were forming.

The circle of elves closed closer and closer to Chris.  Another outer circle of about fifteen elves formed around the inner circle.  An opening formed to both circles, and in walked a very large furry creature.  Chris looked up at the creature.

"No! This can't be!" shouted Chris.

"HA HA HA!" laughed the creature.  The elves were swaying from side to side, and they had started a chant.

"Fi...Gey...Pudding . . . .Fi...Gey...Pudding . . . Fi...Gey... Pudding!" was the chant as the elves locked arms and swayed back and forth.

"Chris, thanks for letting me use your place.  I hope you enjoy your time with the Abominable Snowman. Ho ho ho!!" Santa laughed as he entered back through the portal.

Chris turned back to look at the Abominable Snowman, and as soon as he turned a fist slammed him in his face.  Chris fell to the ground.  He was dazed, and he struggled to get to his feet.

He finally made it back up when another punch hit him in the stomach sending him flying over the two rings of elves.  He landed on his back, and he rolled in agony to his stomach.  The crowd of elves cheered and hollered.

The monster walked over to him and grabbed him with one arm.  The Abominable Snowman must have been nine feet tall.  He held Chris by the neck and held him over his head.

"Welcome to Eternity." growled the monster.

A chant of "Fi . . Gey . . . Fi . . .Gey!" had started back up again.

Chris couldn't speak.  His breath had been knocked from him, and he was pretty sure he had a broken rib or two.  He was carried to a room.

Inside the room was a chair with straps and locks on the arms.  There was a small high table in front of the chair with a bowl sitting on it.  Chris was slammed down in the chair, and he was strapped in.

A small evil looking elf emerged from the shadow.  He had glasses and wore a lab coat.

"He he he, time for a tasty treat!" laughed the elf.

He reached into his coat and grabbed a spoon.  Then, he put the spoon in the bowl, and pulled out a spoonful of what looked to be some sort of goo.

"Figgy pudding, my dear" whispered the elf.  "Open up."

Chris refused to open his mouth, but the abominable snowman grabbed his head and forced his mouth open.  The pudding was shoved down his mouth.

"Yeesss, that's it" laughed the elf.

The snowman left the room, and the elf took a step back from the chair.

Chris looked around, and everything started to look larger.  This was not the case, though.  He was shrinking.  He looked at his skin, and it was turning a greenish yellow color.

"Now, you are one of us!" shouted the elf. "It's time for orientation!"

Chris was lead out by two larger elves, and he was escorted to a long line of other elves.  The line began in front of a table where three elves were handing out envelopes.

Chris finally made it to the front of the line, and one of the elves handed him an envelope.

"Open it," said the elf.

Chris opened the envelop.  "Tricycles" was all that the paper said.

His two escort elves walked him towards another room, and they opened the door.

Thousands of elves were at work assembling tricycles.  A man stood up from a desk and walked towards Chris.

"Welcome to your duty" said the man.  "Here is your new career. . . .and it is now your wonderful life".  He smiled and walked Chris towards a table with a screwdriver, hammer, and some other tools.

"Time to get to work.  The kids of the world need their tricycles.  Who are we to deprive them?  Especially my little girl, Zuzu!"

Chris sat down at the desk and looked at his tools.

Before he knew it, fifty years and thousands of lashings by Santa had passed.  He was still assembling tricycles.

. . .

Little Alley O'Conner was celebrating her fourth Christmas.  It's a Wonderful Life was playing in the background.

"Thanks Santa! I love my new tricycle!  I love you so much, Santa!" she shouted as she rode it around her family's kitchen on Christmas morning.