Tonight,It Would Be Different.

Tonight It Would Be Different-

Tonight, it would be different.
For Ben,tonight would be the night that the years,the decades of scorn would be forgotten.He was almost in high enough spirits to whistle a merry little tune as he prepared himself for what would in all probability be the highlight of his pitiful, wasted life.No more tears, he thought to himself, no more pain, no more ridicule, most of all no more loneliness.He had finally (he surmised) met the one who would make everything make sense to him again. Well, in actuality he hadn't JUST met her, he had been acquainted with her since the time of middle school, but he hadn't given her much thought back then.However, with the march of time, he found his thoughts returning to her time and again, until recently, when the thoughts became an almost burning obsession.After tormented nights of fierce contemplation with regards to the best way to go about getting her attention,he finally grew a spine and made his move. Now things were running smoothly towards their first official encounter and Ben couldn't be happier."Fuck it!", he thought, and began to whistle a merry little tune anyways.As he fixed his hair and trimmed his sideburns, his mind went back to the most recent disgrace, the catalyst that convinced him to pursue this saviour and make her his own.
It had only been a couple months,give or take, since Ben had met " the girl of his dreams" , the one who had actually made him forget about the scorn and ridicule of the past. In his peace of the moment, he had mistakenly believed her to be "the one". After all, she had come to him in a period of severe mental and spiritual anguish, just as he felt the other one always would. She made him feel, and feel good, and experience such a deep relief for all things, that he couldn't conceive of a better world. Granted, he had felt various degrees of the same for just about every girl he had been romantically linked with, but she had been different. She wouldn't get bored in a matter of weeks like the others,she wouldn't become more and more distant until there was virtually no communication to be had like the others, she wouldn't just string him along until someone better came along like the others,she wouldn't, she wouldn't, she wouldn't.....
But she did.
To Ben this was a bitter bludgeon to his already brittle self-worth. Abandoned again. Left looking like some pathetic mutt that no one wants left in the rain. Why did this have to happen on such a regular and predictable basis? It was past the point of being mere coincidence or luck of the draw, there must be some fundamental flaw that repulsed the fairer sex so.But, Ben was always told what a swell chap he was....were they lying ? He could never understand the smart,funny, intelligent criteria that women always preached as the trinity of the good mate. He was all three of those things, so either women were lying as a collective on the survey, or he had a skewed view of himself. At any rate, it worked out for the best, because it gave him the courage of the desperate to pursue his angelic ideal of perfection. And the time was now to go meet her, to make the connection and make her his. Tonight, he would be in the company of one who would be sincerely interested in what he had to say, tonight, he would dazzle and charm, tonight, it would be different.
Ben walked down the slanted hallway of his beat-to-shit apartment and into his dilapitated bedroom where his clothes had been laid out on his bed. Looking over the trendy garbs he had picked up at the shop of the moment made him chuckle to himself. He had never put much stock in appearance , he had always been of the " Don't judge a book by it's cover" school of thought.Of course this type of rule was obviously not applicable in the society that Ben was forced to be a part of. It began in high school, when he caused quite a commotion in his outlet store apparel. The lack of flash/fad/fashion he displayed was more offensive to beautiful people than it would have been if he had shown up naked. He weathered through the ridicule and torment knowing that once he was out of these hallowed halls, he would never be judged over something as trivial as clothing again. Another upbeat theory of Ben's that had been proven so incredibly wrong in practice. What was wrong with this world? It must be an terribly insecure individual who feels the need to criticize another human being based on appearance alone. But then again, by that logic, the grand majority of the "civilized" world would have to be insecure.No matter now. Even though Ben was sure that his lady fair wouldn't be so shallow as to dismiss him based on looks, he made sure that he had a decent (and ridiculously priced) outfit in which to meet her.Tonight, he wouldn't draw appalled stares from the crowd of identical sheep, tonight,he would be with one above such foolishness, tonight, it would be different.
As he left his room, Ben tripped over the workboots he had carelessly left on the floor. Fuckin' boots,he thought to himself. Why did he even bring those homw with him ? It's not like he was going back. Not after tonight.
For almost 5 years, Ben had toiled away the prime of his life doing back-breaking menial labour for a heartless corporate machine. After that amount of time taking the man's shit, he though that maybe he would have paid his dues and been done with it. But no, that too wasn't how things worked. His bosses wanted more from him, faster, harder, more... and in an effort to appease the powers that be, he had become a focused work-horse. As he had expected though, the more he gave, the more they wanted, and nothing was ever good enough. Ben had been hauled in the office on numerous occasions to have his job threatened by leering, piggish, upper management, whilst they let their favorites run around the job site doing as they please. And to make matters worse, his efforts didn't go unnoticed by his co-workers, who then interpreted his work ethic as being the sign of a "company man" , which in turn led to more ostracism and undeserved retaliation. Unable to please the company and outcast by the blue-collars made it a difficult place for Ben to return to day after day.And when he had gone to his car at lunch break and found one of his co-workers had carved BEN EATS CORPORATE COCK onto it's hood, it marked the end of his days at the job. There would have been no point in complaining to the company, they wouldn't have cared about an employee's vehicle.He couldn't track down the culprit and hold him responsible, everyone there was against him and wouldn't have been willing to help. So instead, he got into his defaced car and drove home from work forever.
But, no time to worry about that now,he thought.For his  date was rapidly approaching, and nothing would bring him down now. Tonight, he WOULD be good enough for someone,tonight, he would relax and be easy, knowing she had no pre-conceived notions about who or what he was, tonight, it would be different.
Ben walked to the doorway to his beat-to-shit apartment and took one final survey to ensure he wasn't forgetting anything. And since she was  the type of lady so far above the need for petty things like flowers or chocolates he was travelling light.He had his car keys and his wallet and thats all he needed tonight.He flicked off the light switch and shut the door behind him.
As he walked into the cool night breeze he was amazed at the mental transformation that had taken place in just the past few hours.From being unsure and insecure about himself, he went to having a sense of hope. And not that false hope that had beseiged him all his life.It was a pure hope. A true hope. An undeniable hope. So much hope it seemed, to Ben, to make the stagnant city air taste almost sweet, the obnoxious glare of the arc-sodiums seem divine, the suffocating humidity dissipate like mist in the sun. Yes, Ben could certainly get used to feeling like this.
He got in his car and turned the engine. As his defaced car sputtered to life he gave no thought to the inscription on the hood. It would be dark where they were going, and besides, no one knew more about the folly of the masses than his divine angel,his saviour.He made a few minor grooming adjustments in the rearview mirror and then drove his car into traffic, on his way to meet his love.
As his car travelled through the gloomy inner-city streets and then merged onto the highway, "Why Can't We Be Friends" came on the radio. Friends! Ben scoffed to himself.Part of his disassociation from the world stemmed from the constant abuse and abandonment he suffered at the hands of his friends. It was as if they thought of him as a novelty or party favor, to be seen in an entertainment role solely. If he threatened to open himself up and offer his valid opinions or ideas, he would be ostracized or ridiculed, or riduled and THEN ostracized for not staying in character ar the zany little puppet. Any attempts at finding his niche would ultimately and invariably result in the same manner. Acceptance,exposure of soul. ridicule, and then abandonment. Without fail. Almost as if the world literally WAS against him, felt Ben. It was just too uncanny how regularly and similarily it would happen. But the Hell with it thought Ben. He was almost there now. Once he found where she would be waiting he would rush to her in that glorious embrace that most can't even dream of. Then there would never be abandonment again. Tonight, he would find his ultimate ideal, tonight he would close the door on ridicule and shame and torment. Tonight, it would be different.
Just then, something caught Ben's eye on the highway ahead. Could it be her? Could it really be? Ben was almost certain, even at this distance she was almost unmistakable. As he got nearer he saw that,indeed it was her. There bathed in a halo that eminated from the front lights of an oncoming fully loaded eighteen wheeler, was the object of his desperate desires. He eased his car into the oncoming lane and pressed on the accelerator, in a giddy,stomach clenching anticipation of their first and final embrace.Then she was there immediately in front of his windsheild, at a speed that confirmed her anticipation of him, and almost before his brain could register all that this truly meant for him, they touched.
Although he never had time to formulate the thought in his mind, Ben could be certain that Tonight,it would be different