Television

It had been a long day. I worked in a banking firm and we had had many calls today. Some customers had issues when trying to withdraw from an ATM. Their accounts were empty, and they laid the blame on us. All I wanted to do was go home and spend the evening with my boyfriend of five months, Nicholas Ricks. I slid the key in the lock and let myself into my apartment.

“I’m sorry again ma’am. Have a good evening.” Nick hung up the phone and turned the volume down on the TV.

I wondered why he would have turned the coverage of the news down after the phone call. “Who was that?”

“Wrong number.” Nick’s eyes were glazed over. “Sit and we’ll watch the news.”

"We're always doing the same thing Nick, every time we're together. Can't we change it up or something?"

"What do you propose we do instead?"

"Something besides this!" It was the same routine. I would come over in the evening after I got off work. Nick and I would watch TV, drink a beer, and then go to bed together. I would attempt a conversation in lieu of the watching TV, in hopes to end the night differently. I was shushed whenever the commercials were over. "Can't we talk now? I can't keep cutting off things I'm saying every time a break in your program ends."

"Well maybe we're done talking." Nick stood to look at me, but his eyes were looking past me, over my shoulder at the TV. "Maybe we're at two different times in our lives. Our ideas don't seem to match up anymore." He met my eyes just long enough to say what he wanted to say, and then sat down to watch the TV again.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means we're over Lara. Done. Sure, this has been fun, but I think now we need to move on and see other people." He spoke to me, but his eyes were glued to the TV.

I felt my heart pound one final protest, then stop, like it was agreeing with what Nick was proposing.

"You know where the door is." Nick handed me my coat and sat back down to watch his news show about the war, it had always been about the war these past few months. His brown eyes were fixed to the TV, his sandy hair creating shadows on his flawless face.

I wanted to scream, turn into a tornado perhaps, and then wreak havoc on his house. "All because I wanted to talk?" Talking wasn't bad was it?

"No Lara. It's the change. You are younger in your mind than I and perhaps a lot more attached to commitment than I am. We just want different things out of life."

"What is it you want? Lethargy? Sloth?! To get fat and throw away your life?!"

"What I want is someone who can appreciate the relaxation and beauty of a calm quiet day."

"Every day?"

"Yes."

"You just want someone you can sleep with and not feel anything for. Don't you want more than that in life?" I gestured towards the TV. “At least these men are serving their country. You and your lazy ass didn’t even sign up for a chance to help! Maybe if you went and served, you could use the money they’d offer you for school and go and learn something!”

"Why? I have plenty of money coming from my parents to live off of.” He stood again and was right in my face. “And don’t talk about the soldiers.”

"You're twenty-seven. Grow up for crying out loud! I can't believe you'd be quite content with being a mooching leech!"

Before I could step back, his arm flew at my face, his hand connecting with his target. He grabbed my arms, and dug his fingers into them, spun me around and forced me to the door. "Get out!" He stared at me and then shoved me out of his apartment. He slammed the door behind me. Had I not been feet away, I may have had an unplanned amputation.

I had seen enough movies to know that this was the part where the rain would fall and begin to soak me in my own tears. I would make my way back to my house and as I'm walking, a car would drive by, creating a wall of water that would drench me faster than the rain would. To my surprise though, it didn't start raining. As I made my way home, I did some thinking. What was Nick's problem? Did he just want some bimbo, and upon finding out that I wasn't that he ditched me to find another? He was probably scared of marriage. Didn't want a wife or anything. Part of me wanted to turn around and return the favor he left on my face. Though I might venture my return gift lower, preventing him from recreating a jerk like himself. Though the other part of me wanted to move on and-

"Oh, pardon me," came a troubled voice. It was a woman about my age, mid twenties. She was crying and had dropped her groceries. "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's alright. It’s my fault for not paying attention." I crouched down and helped her put her food back in the bags. "Hey..." I caught her gaze before I continued. "Are you okay?"

She didn't say anything. Her bottom lip quivered and then a flood of tears escaped her already soaked eyes. Her shoulders quaked. I helped her to her feet. "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee? My treat."

“I need to get these groceries home.” She said as she tried to put everything the way she had it.

“Let me help.” I took some bags from her. “Lead the way.” I smiled at her. She returned the smile.

“Thank you.”

We made our way to her apartment, and made small talk along the way. She had been living here for a few months. “My husband enlisted into the army. They called him away five months ago.” She said as we reached the door. She unlocked it and went in. The place was small, I could definitely see her happy with her husband here.

“What a lovely place.” I said as I followed her to the kitchen. We put the groceries on the counter.

She went to the phone and there was nothing blinking at her. “I was hoping they’d call and tell me they were wrong.”

“Pardon?” I asked.

Her eyes grew wet again. "Today has not been my day. It's been one of the worst." She sighed. "Waking up this morning, I got a call from my boss. He told me the company was downsizing. He at least was kind enough to have my stuff sent over here. And as if that wasn't enough, after hanging up the phone, someone from the regiment my husband was in called." She paused. "In fact, I don't even remember his name. But he called to say..." She started to shake and I knew what was to follow was not good. "He called to say that my husband was gunned down in the war three days ago." She took a few moments to cry. "Losing my job and my husband, I have no way to pay rent this month. I will probably be evicted." She sat down in a chair at the table and collapsed in tears.

I looked around the kitchen and found a box of tissues and placed it in front of her. “Here.” She thanked me again and wiped her eyes. “Things are so funny sometimes. You think everything is okay. You have a routine going, and then it all comes crashing down around you with a simple phone call.” She sighed. “I’m only 26, and the gentleman who called me ma’am. I didn’t think you got the privilege of the title until you were 35.” She chuckled.

This poor woman. I don't know if anything could make the day worse.

"I thought I would spend what little money I had, I would take my car and go get groceries, right before walking to my car, some drunk driver in a truck totaled my car. He was fine, and I'm fine, but our cars are wrecked, and completely un-fixable." She sighed. "The only light in my day was having you help me."

I smiled at her. I passed a few napkins her way as I saw her eyes get shiny again as more tears formed.

"I even started writing my husband a letter."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Mmhmm. To tell him I am pregnant with his child. The doctor says I'm just about five months along now." She laughed a little. "It's kind of funny. I have no job, no place to live, no car, but you know what? I've never been more sure that I'll be okay. I'll really be okay."

"What was your husband's-" I stopped as she slid a picture of a man and her across the table.

"That's was him." She said quietly.

I looked at the picture. He was a beautiful man. His face was flawless. He had honey brown eyes, kind of hidden behind a mop of sandy brown hair. He had a wide smile that showed the happiness he felt being around this woman. A happy that I thought the man wouldn't possess knowing he was going to war. Recognition of the man set in. "He is a beautiful man Mrs. Ricks."

She gave me a deer in the headlights look. "I don't think I gave you my name."

I slid the picture back to her. "You didn't. I just know your husband." I paused, going back to what she said earlier. "How do you keep so strong? How do you know you'll be alright?"

"The fact that I have the Lord on my side."

"Do you talk to him?"

"I pray all the time."

"And he answers you?" I asked.

She nodded. "He has all my life. I have so much faith in his power and plans."

"How can he let these bad things happen? Especially to someone like you who has kept faith in him?"

"He allows you to grow from experience. There is good that comes out of the bad. It may not be clear at first, but He allows you to see it within due time. The Lord never gives you anything he thinks you can't handle. It makes you stronger in the end." Her eyes sparkled as she spoke of the wonder of this "Lord" she talked about.

I paused and thought of the words I should say. "Can you pray for me? And then teach me how? There are some things about your husband I'd like to tell you. I think we'll both need some strength to get through this.” I paused. “My name is Lara and your husband, Nicholas Ricks broke up with me today."