Found in the Barn

Jed trudged out to the old barn. “Why do I always have to go look for the dumb dog?” he mumbled to himself. Sarah just ran off whenever she wanted, usually after a squirrel or a rabbit. Jed, who had so desperately wanted a dog a year ago, was tired of chasing after her and bringing her home. He started in the barn, as always. If she wasn’t there, she was down by the creek past the meadow. Those were her two favorite haunts.

Jed pulled on the old barn door with all his might, snowplowing eight inches of snow with the heavy door. He was not small enough to get in the way Sarah did, through the hole in the back wall. Snow fell in his eyes and down his back as the door groaned open.

“Crap!” Jed yelled. He wasn’t allowed to use that word, but nobody was around to hear him.

“Excuse me?” a scared voice came from one of the stalls where his grandparents once kept horses. He could see Sarah’s tail, straight out, protruding from the stall.

“Who the Hell is in here?” Jed tried to sound older and bigger than his ten years. He realized he used another word he was not allowed to say.

“Err, help?” The shrill, scared voice came again.

“You’re lucky I don’t let Sarah…What the heck?” Jed stumbled on his words as he came around the corner of the stall.

The unwelcomed visitor smiled weakly, “Any chance you could call her off?”

“Oh, don’t even tell me!” Jed started.

“He, he. Yep. I’m an elf.” The small figure looked at Jed, waving his hand as if Sarah would just walk away.

“Sarah, sit!” Jed looked back at the small figure. “Yeah, right. What are you, some kind of freak?”

“Come on, Kid, I’m in big trouble.” The elf pleaded.

“Oh really? What are you, a pedophile or what?” Jed wasn’t sure what the word meant, but he knew it was bad and involved kids.

“No, really!” Jed towered over the elf. “I’m in big trouble. I did something really bad!” He was near tears.

“What did you do?” Jed softened and pulling back on Sarah’s collar.

“Well, I took out the sleigh. I mean, just for a ride, you know? But it broke down. Santa’s going to kill me! Please tell me you’ll help,” the small figure begged.

“Yeah, right. Santa’s sleigh. What are you, some serial killer or something?” Jed held Sarah’s collar tight. The dog’s hair went up on her back.

“No. I’m serious. I’m in big trouble here.”

“Well, I don’t believe in Santa. That’s crap.” Jed shot back.

“You know, Kid, Santa knows that you are not supposed to use that word. If you keep it up, I guarantee you’re not getting that Wii® this year!” The elf became indignant.

“Really? Well, you stole his sleigh. You think you’re on the “good” list?” Jed could not believe he was even having this conversation, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“No,” the elf hung his head, wringing his hands, “I’m on the dead list if I don’t get that sleigh back.”

“Whatever, Dude. You’re such a fairy.”

“Elf.”

“What?”

“I’m an elf.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot, a pedophile, serial killer elf. That’s right.” Jed turned Sarah toward the door of the barn.

“You’ve gotta help me!” the elf pleaded.

Jed stopped and sighed. How do I get into these things? He remembered back to taking the tractor out for a spin and getting it stuck in the neighbor’s field three weeks ago. If it weren’t for the neighbor’s help, he would have been on the “dead” list, too.

“Okay, I’ll humor you. Let’s say you’re an elf. Let’s there’s a Santa. Let’s say you stole his sleigh. What do you want me to do about it?”

“I know why it broke down. Because not enough people believe. It’s a magic sleigh, you know?”

“Magic Santa sleigh driven by a short serial killer… who winds up in my barn. It all makes sense now!” Jed threw up his free hand. “I should just let Sarah have you.” The yellow lab growled, but then lay down. “Sarah!” Jed yelled at her. “Some protector you are!”

“All I need is one person who really, truly believes in Santa, and the sleigh will have enough power to get me back to the North Pole before he misses it. Please!” The elf pleaded as if for his life, but got no response. “If I show you the sleigh, then will you believe me?”

Jed let the elf go, still shaking his head. He didn’t know why he followed, but something told him to, and he did.

“What the…”

“Careful,” the elf waggled his finger.

“Okay, if this is Santa’s sleigh, where’s Rudolph?” The question sounded stupid as it left his lips.

“You do realize Rudolph would be 109 right now, right?” The elf shook his head at Jed’s lack of knowledge. “Come on, Kid. We had to move away from reindeer because of global warming. The terrain… Oh, why am I trying to explain this.”

Jed was in the sleigh, checking it out. He found a large, red sack with one present in it. He wasn’t impressed. But, every time he pulled something out, another present appeared, each with a child’s name on them. “How the…” he caught himself, as the pile of toys grew.

The elf threw the toys back in the sack and Jed kept pulling out different ones. “Are you kidding me?” Sarah jumped into the sleigh and a four-foot chew bone appeared in the sack. The sleigh shook violently, starting and stopping.

“What do you think now, Kid?” the elf yelled over the roar.

“Santa’s Sleigh?” Jed yelled over the roar as the runners slid across the snow. “Hey, wait!” he protested briefly. “When am I going to get home?”

“Magic sleigh, remember? They’ll never even know you were gone!” The elf laughed, grabbing the reins and whipping the air in front of them.

Word Count: 1006