Cold

The air turned murky white around his vision.  Trying to shake it off, he swung his head from right to left letting the fluids that filled the joints of his spine release in a crack.  The haze didn’t falter, it quickly filled his entire site and he was thrust from what he had believed was reality.  A myriad of images filled his view as time itself bent around him, sending him head over heels through the continuum.  Slamming his eyes shut, he felt his world reel around him until, finally, it came to a screeching halt.

Opening his eyes, he found himself standing in a blue room.  The color resembled a bright, full moon through a thick of wispy clouds.  It fascinated him for a moment.  He was drawn in by the serene color, the peace that it seemed to instill in him. 

The quiet tranquility that had filled him shattered as quickly as it had came as the world come crashing into view.  The chirping of medical machinery was the first thing that registered to his senses.  Quickly, he spun around to see where the sounds originated only to find a wall of off-white and blue fabric blocking his view.  Wading his way through the practitioners of medicine, he heard a wail of pain, the voice all too familiar.

He found no resistance from the doctors as he pushed his way to her.  Though, what he found there, he was not prepared and left him frozen, unable to move or speak.  Lying on her back, sweat beaded from her brow.  Her body convulsed in pain and bliss as she grunted and screamed once again, pushing her heels against the stirrups that imprisoned them.

“We’re almost there, I can see the head!” came an excited voice.

“Breath, steady… breathe,” came a woman’s tone.  She was kneeling next to her.  Her face wasn’t familiar, but had a sincere expression of concern.

“One last push and we’re there,” the statement was silenced by an antagonized scream.

The cacophony of sounds ended and a deafening silence filled the room, a silence that felt like it would never end.  Suddenly, the sound of skin against skin filled the air and a baby’s infant cries for life reverberated off of every wall.

Tears of joy fell down her face as they placed the child, smothered in swaddling blankets, into her arms.  She struggled to hold the weight of the infant, tired from the endeavor.  She cooed to the child.  Pain and exhaustion played across her brow, but she was at peace.

The door to the room swung open, and a grinning, grizzly faced man entered.  Turning to see the newest arrival, the world shattered beneath his feet.  How could this be?  He thought to himself.

He watched in silence as the bearded man approached her.  She was the only one he had ever truly loved.  He watched as the man knelt beside her and kissed her gently, watched as he looked down at the pink, wriggling infant and smiled the kind of smile only one man in the world could have at that very moment.

A single tear found its way down his cheek as he mused, an inaudible whisper, “I’m glad you finally found your happiness, my love…”

With that, the air began to tremble and he was ripped from this reality to find himself once again sitting on the familiar black leather he had been before his journey.  Tears welled in his eyes as he thought of her one last time, before finally falling from the dark pools onto the plastic that lined the floor.

He looked down at the simple note at his feet:
         
I will always love you… It wasn’t your fault…

It was simple and unsigned, but he knew it would find its recipient.  Pressing the speed dial on his phone, he heard the ringing through the receiver.  Listening until he heard the coarse voice of his friend answer on the distant end.  He knew that his actions would reach her as long as the voice listened instead of speaking.

Before he had even finished hearing the greeting on the line, his toe depressed the small, metal trigger.  He closed his eyes as his teeth clamped down on the cold shaft.  Time slowed as he thought to himself, I’m glad she finally found happiness… finally found what she was looking for…

He could feel the vibrations run up the stock.  The cold metal shook violently in his hands, though his grip never faltered, never let that little ball of molten metal that would bring him peace stray from its course.  His head rang like a chime at midnight, as the metal clanked furiously against his teeth.  His jaw tightened as his lips closed tighter around the long, now burning channel.  The heat burst into his mouth like a volcanic eruption, and he felt the world explode for a brief moment… and then it was all over, the pain was gone.  All that remained was the black emptiness of eternity.