The 3rd Wheel

Part 1

Didn’t See That Coming

“Oh come on! You completely knew that he was a ghost before the movie ended!” the young woman laughed, nudging the young man walking down the dark streets of Lapeer. “It was so obvious!”

“Not to me” the young man retorted, his mind still trying to piece together the clues of the movie they had just seen. Bruce Willis was a manly man, a lady’s man, and dead from the very beginning? “I just can’t seem to put the clues together. When did you figure it out?”

“The minute you saw him after he was shot in the beginning, and I was absolutely sure when the creepy boy said ‘I see dead people’ woooooo!” the young woman playfully clawed at the young man’s head and neck.

“Man! I totally missed it!”

“Aw, that’s okay. I’m just smarter than you.”

“Or maybe I was too hindered by the reality of there being no such things as ghosts that I couldn’t think beyond a certain box.”

“Tomato-tomahto! I’m smarter than you!”

“I highly doubt it.”

“Oh hey! That’s a short cut to the car.” She pointed down a dark alley beside the PIX theatre.

“What, the dark alley where no one will hear our screams? Forget it, we’ll take the long cut.”

“Oh, what’s the matter? You afraid the ghosts are gonna getcha?”

“Yeah, that’s it.” He rolled his eyes.

“Well then, come on.” She goaded, already beginning to fade into the alley’s shadows.

“W-wait…I-I…ahem…I’m coming” he straightened his shoulders, threw out his chest and marched after her, thinking over and over again, (I am Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis wouldn’t leave her alone. I’m a manly man.)

They rounded a corner behind the PIX and reached the entrance into the back parking lot. An older looking gentlemen, obviously homeless by his attire, glared at them as they approached. The young woman reached her arm around the young man’s arm as they inched closer to the bum guarding their exit. (I’m a manly man! Bruce Willis could take him! I’m Bruce Willis!)

“Going somewhere, baby?” the older man wheezed, his teeth were yellowish-brown and he wreaked of alcohol.She tried to ignore the older man but he leapt from his leaning place on the wall and whipped out a small pistol. She yelped and fell against the wall, her eyes were the size of dinner plates.

“L-look, fella, we don’t want any t-trouble.” The young man stammered, realizing that Bruce Willis did NOT stammer ANYTHING. “Do you think I care what you want, ya queer sum bitch? Huh?” the gunman pointed the pistol at the young man, who retreated to the wall, next to the young woman. “Hows abouts I tell ya what I want? I want her underwear.” He pointed the pistol back at the young woman, who had gone red in the face.

“What?” the young man asked. “Not money?”

“NO! I want her panties! Take them off! I wanna feel ‘em!”

“Give the psycho your panties!” he whispered to her.

“Go to hell, Aaron!” she retorted.

“What?” He was dumbfounded that she would say something like that to him in this situation.

“Take ‘em off, or I’ll do it for ya, bitch!” the older man neared the two against the wall. He reached out his free hand and she slapped it away.

“There’s nothing for you down there,” she replied icily, her eyes narrowing to unfamiliar piercing slits that Aaron had never seen before.

“Alli?” Aaron had nearly forgotten the gunman, his attention completely drawn to this peculiar transformation in his ex.

“Is that right, bitch?” The gunman chuckled before backhanding her in the face. Aaron dove for the gunman and the gun went off. Aaron slumped against the wall, clutching his stomach, heaves of air and blood spurt from his mouth and nose. A numbing cold took root in his feet and began overtaking his body. He was dying. With every gush of blood, the coldness spread further, reaching past his waste and up into his chest. Breathing, something so natural, became an extraordinary chore; his muscles would not budge willingly to inflate his lungs. The lamplight seemed to dim and a dark hungry circle framed his vision and began to constrict, blotting out existence as it swallowed more and more into blackness. As his heart slowed, his mind raced faster, the one and only thought in his mind: I can’t leave Alli alone! I can’t leave her alone! The coldness reached his temples and the thoughts began to slow, his vision was overtaken by the hungry circle and as his ears, the last functioning sense, began to fade, he heard one final thing: “Now, it’s your turn, bitch!”

Part 2

Gotta Find Her

“Get your hands off of her!” Aaron screamed, the circle had slowly begun to regurgitate what it had eaten, and he was gradually regaining his sight. The numbness had gone and he was flailing about, but the older man and Alli were gone. The alley was gone, the PIX theatre was gone. Florescent lights battered his eyes and the sick, sterile smell of bleach perfumed the air. Sitting up, Aaron looked around to see that he was lying on a hospital bed, a white bed sheet over his body. Aaron shot a frightened glance down at his stomach and saw a sutured hole over his stomach, the tape just barely covering his belly button. There was no pain at all. (Must be the painkillers. Bruce Willis wouldn’t need painkillers.)

Aaron felt well enough to leave the bed. He needed to find out what happened to Alli. Did the guy run off after getting what he wanted from her? Is she safe? Who called the ambulance for him to take him to the hospital?

Leaping out of bed, Aaron walked out into the hallway, only his boxers on, but he could not have cared less. An older woman wearing nurse scrubs was restocking bed sheets in a hallway storage closet. Aaron made his way towards her and could tell that she was a burly woman, not the kind of nurse he would ever want a sponge bath from. Clearing his throat, he asked as politely as he could, “Um…excuse me miss.” The signal bell over a patient’s room went off with a little beep.

“Just a sec, hun!” She folded the last blanket and shoved it into the closet, before scooting into the room with the needy patient. Aaron did not want to be rude, but he did not want to waste time on this woman. He needed to find Alli.

Leaving the woman to her patients, Aaron jogged down the hallway, following the signs on the wall that pointed to the most direct way to find the main desk. Whipping around a corner, he caught a young doctor in the shoulder, causing him to spill his hot coffee all over himself. “Aaah! What the hell was that?”

“I am so sorry!” Aaron apologized but his legs were on a mission and he did not stay to make sure the doctor was not badly burned. (Bruce Willis wouldn’t have apologized. He would have said, “watch where you going next time!”)

The signs indicated the main desk was one turn to the left and Aaron had begun to sprint, dodging back and forth between doctors, patients and visitors. The main desk was waiting for him around the corner, a line of people at the counter. Aaron sighed heavily as he joined the parade of people. The receptionist, in mid sweeps of her nail file, would blow a bubble with her bubblegum and give one word answers like “yeah”, “nope”, and “dunno”.

“Could you hurry, please?” Aaron yelled up to the front of the line, but they ignored him. “Oh, come on!”

“Are you serious?” a familiar voice shrieked from behind him. Aaron’s heart skipped a beat as he heard Alli’s voice.

“I’m afraid so, miss,” a doctor was consoling her, his scrubs were stained in blood as he had just arrived from surgery. Alli had buried her face in her hands and lamented, her knees threatening to buckle underneath the despair.

“A-“ Aaron began, but was cut off when another familiar face entered the lobby, a face that sent chills down his back. The face of the older gunman, his clothes were not filthy rags, like they had been. He actually appeared to have money and he was walking closer to Alli.Aaron darted for the man but his action was halted by one of Alli’s. The older man opened his arms and received Alli into his embrace, her face buried in his chest as she continued to sob.

“Again…I uh…I’m sorry for your loss.” The doctor spoke before leaving through a personnel only door.

“Is he dead?” the gunman asked.

“As a doornail,” Alli wiped her eyes and smiled up at the gunman.Aaron was confused.

“Alli, what are you doing with this g-…” his words were choked off again as Alli wrapped her lips around Aaron’s shooter’s and the two stood in the lobby of the Lapeer hospital, making out.

“Mmm. You still want my panties?” Alli asked, licking her lips and sighting the gunman’s belt.

“I still want you take ‘em off, bitch.” The older gunman replied and they swallowed tongues again.

“It’s a shame though, he was so cute.” Alli pouted seductively. “Still, no one takes advantage of me and gets to walk away. The bastard had it coming.”

“Yeah. He probably would’ve gotten wise about us anyways, and ex’s can be real tools when you still hang out with them and you try to move on with someone else.”

“Heehee. In a way, I guess we did him a favor. No one likes to feel like the 3rd Wheel after all.”

“What are you talking about?” Aaron yelled at the two, his mind so confused as to what was going on, but they ignored him. “Why is everyone ignoring me?”Alli and the gunman locked hands and walked out of the hospital, side by side, nibbling at each other’s ears. “Where are you guys going? What the hell’s going on here!”A sudden squeak of metallic wheels caused Aaron to spin around, just in time to catch a gurney to the gut. Aaron looked on in horror as the carrier pushed right through him like air, along with its drivers from the morgue. A white coroner’s truck awaited them outside as they loaded the gurney into the back, a body lay on it with a white sheet over it and a blood spot over the stomach region. On its toe was a name tag: Jerome, Aaron.