Helper Of Mankind

My name means helper of mankind. I have always tried to live up to that meaning even before I knew what it meant. As a child I was extremely tenderhearted toward animals and people. I grew up in the South during the 50's and 60's experiencing much of the racial turmoil of that era.

I could not understand why people were not just people but were either black or white. My best friend was a black child and I could not understand why she could not go to school with me nor why I could not be overheard stating that I loved her and her family. I didn't understand why it was okay to play with her but not allow the general public to know how close we were.

In the latter part of high school the first black child in the white schools rode my school bus. I carried home bruises and many tears from trying to protect a child from mean, hateful, abusive high school boys. I am not ashamed of that but thankful that my heart was so overwhelmed by caring for another person that I was willing to stand up for them.

Later in life after a heart rendering divorce from an abusive alcoholic husband and father I raised my three children alone with no child support. The laws were not enacted to assist a single mother at that time. Oh, I had a piece of paper from court but that didn't fill the children's stomach nor clothe them.

This did not stop me from taking in an eight year old Native American child who was one of my son's best friend at school. His mother was an alcoholic. We had had much experience with that scenario. He called one afternoon stating his mom had been drunk for several days and there were lots of men messing with his little sister and she was hurt and crying.

Yes, we went to get them. Harold stayed with me and Carol Diane was cared for by their Aunt Minnie. Their mother didn't care so we kept them making sure they spent time with one another as siblings should. He and my son, Tommy, were inseparable all throughout the years. If one thought something, the other knew it. They reminded me of the stories you hear of twins with the exception one was very light skinned, blond and blue eyed the other dark skinned, raven black hair and black eyes. Harold was then and still is my son.

No matter I could not make ends meet with just my natural children, I worked as many jobs as it took to support them and our home became the meeting place for all to come after ballgames, gymnastic classes and band practice. It was hectic to say the least but I was glad to know where my children were and that classmates felt we offered a haven when there was discord at home.

Ten years after Harold became an "adopted" child my daughter's best friend was living with us as a family member. Her family was in the midst of a nasty divorce and there were six other siblings in the household. Now I have another daughter who in time lost both her parents to death and now I am her only mother. Jennifer has three children who have no other grandparents but me and Nana is the cats pajamas to them.

Jennifer is white and her husband is black which has caused some adjustments on many of our family and friends point of view on mixed racial marriage. It has been hard at times but more than worthwhile when your grandson's teacher calls you to report what Eddie has said to another parent that day.

It seems a white parent trying to prove to all she was not embarrassed to have her white children in class with black ones was asking each child in the kindergarten class what color they were. She gets to Eddie and he informs her quite calmly, "I'm not a color, I'm a little boy." That about says it all. Perhaps I have made a positive difference.

I have an "adopted" family several states away from me I encountered when I was working as an extradition agent transporting prisoners nationwide. Mandy's husband was a partner of mine for a while and I became close to them. There were two daughters that now have an Aunt Sandy.

Long story short, Mandy's husband was caught in infidelity when he had an vehicle wreck and both women showed up at the emergency room. He feigned amnesia off and on for several years playing back and forth between the two, plus several others found out about much later. Both women were pregnant and Mandy filed for divorce. She is unusually sick and finds out she has cancer also. No financial support and courts dragging out due to the husband switching lawyers over and over I went to check on them one cold February day and there is no heat, no food, no electricity, no water, and no phone. Mandy has absolutely nothing for herself or the children and cannot work because she is so ill. She did not want to ask for help.

Her efforts at that were shot down when she applied for help from Department of Health and Welfare and discovered her husband had already applied and the check was going to him and his mistress.

I took care of them financially until the baby was born and Mandy could receive treatment for her illness. It took her five years in court to finally get a divorce and he works for cash under the table now and still does not provide any child support for the household. Mandy works long hard hours to keep a roof over their heads, food and clothing for all. I still help as much as possible because they are mine. They lost their home during the divorce when it went into bankruptcy.

Yes, I made and still make a positive difference there, but they have made much more of a difference to my quality of life.

I have two other "adopted" families across the nation who had similar circumstances but not with as extreme need as Mandy. One of whom the father had to quit work to care for his wife who was rendered quadriplegic from a vehicle accident and their two infant children. The state pays him as caretaker for her but it is a very small income for a family. He is a good father and husband and lovingly cares for them, how can I do less than assist?

I assisted several of the inmates I transported to get a new start on life after their time was served and am more than pleased to report they have gone on to assist other inmates to get and keep their lives in order after incarceration.

I did Prison Ministry for my church for a couple of years but had to give it up when I took another job to assist my "children" when they were not able to help themselves.

Last but not least I have made a positive caring difference in the lives of several abandoned pets. I currently have two little dogs that are such characters and make me smile daily.

I am thankful that I am who I am and that I get pleasure and contentment from living meagerly myself to enable others to have a better quality of life. I have always done these things quietly for it doesn't matter that anyone else knows. Quite frankly there are many in my family that would be upset with me if they knew how much I have given.

I am thankful that my children have taken it on themselves to display many of these same qualities. I do believe it has all been done with God's blessings and I am thankful that I chose to allow Him to work through me in many of these situations. It is my sincere desire to live up to my name, Sandra, helper of mankind.