Bleeding

I am cut.
You say you understand;
yet twist the knife in my gut.
Answer me if you can..

How deep does it go?
How do I stop the pain?
Tell me if you know.
An open wound; the blood flows as rain.

I try to carry on.
Sometimes I think it clots..
My mind tries to accept that you are gone;
a fleeting moment before you enter my thoughts.

In the dark your face greets me; haunting.
Wake up in fits and roll out of bed on bent knee.
A vision of you with another constantly taunting.
A love too costly; it's true the best things in life are free.

Sleep is one but it seldom comes.
Awaken and don this mask to transform;
march to the beat of a dead man's drums.
To this life I cannot conform.

Forged grin veils pain that consumes.
Behind it the world can't see me unfold.
"Time heals all wounds."
What a cruel joke! This just grows old!

Drag through the day and dread tomorrow.
You seem to be fine. What is your secret?
Do you have any sanity I could borrow?
God knows I need it.

Dusk to dawn, these dreams they tarry;
try to sleep to no avail with heart full of worry.
Life without you is just so scary.
I'm running out of breath in deep water so please hurry.

A missing piece to the puzzle that is me.
Hour after hour we put it together.
No one else will fit so I can't set you free.
The rain is cold and coming down hard. This is terrible weather.

To whom else with these things can I confide?
I'm already soaked ..
But, it's not too late to call me inside.
I see you there! A new hope evoked.

It causes my heart to leap.
You are so near.
With joy, I start to weep.
I scream your name.
Yet, you act as if you are in a deep sleep.

I make sure that my voice is clear;
try again but still you stare blankly at me as if a stranger.
All my sorrow and fear,
abruptly come to a halt and compound into anger...

I head back into the storm blending my tears with the rain.
It is as if you have died.
Walking away I don’t feel the same.
I can't bring you back no matter how I've tried.

Never thought it would be this way but I digress.
I have prayed and begged and given my best.
I turn around to leave these wet flowers on your steps,
not to win you back but to lay you to rest.