Blank Goes The BeLL

She looked up. Hm, she thought to herself trying to calculate how many holes there could be in the tiles of the ceiling. One million four hundred-- the bell rang. Damn, she mumbled. Enough time for lectures, but when a girl tries to count the holes in the-- "Miss Quinn?" asked the four-eyed English teacher behind an overly large metallic desk . She blinked and leaned forward in her chair, "Sorry Mr. Scott," she stood up grabbing her books, "I'll see you next week." she walked out.

The day seemed like one of those odd Sci-fiction movies, like the Twilight Zone only worse. Every class period felt like she already knew what the lecture was, the homework, even how many holes were in the old, yellow stained ceiling-- One million four-hundred and fifty-two for her last class. When lunch time finally came, it seemed like a relief to her. "If I had another class, I'd end up eating my pencil," she mumbled. Not the best idea, but it seemed a possibility to her. One week left of school before her junior year was over. Summer was suppose to be here, but apparently no one told the sun that.

She didn't like the darkness in the sky by the end of the day, she'd rather get skin cancer than spend her summer vacation in morbid climate. Three free months of nothing but time. Time, freedom, and her favorite, the abnormally black and white hamster living in her room. That hamster could eat threw anything and everything, his days were numbered. I swear the next time he-- "Jade!" called a middle-aged woman most likely to be her mom-- what is with the cut-offs-- "Hurry up!" Jade took a deep breath and walked towards the old, rusty Volvo. This day just gets better and-- "Would you hurry up, your dad's waiting for you at the house," Jade opened her mouth and closed. What's the use, it's not like-- "Jade Bernice Quinn, if you don't get your ass in the car right now..." her mother warned.

Jade tried to keep her temperance level. The clock was ticking she knew that, time to go meet dad's new wife. It's like the Adams Family and The Brady's procreated... what a shame, Jade thought. "Earth to Jade, come in Jade," called her mother from the driver's side. Jade looked up from her leather-covered book, "Huh?" she smiled. Her mother just laughed, "Oh I thought I just try to get a hold of my daughter from planet 'Duh' but maybe she's to busy burying her face in that book of hers." her mother laughed. Jade mocked her laugh, "Sorry Jade can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message--" She let the rest slip from her tongue and sat there ignorantly waiting for a response. Her mother looked at her, "Ha ha, sorry planet 'Parent' must have forgotten to teach me to laugh."

She just sat there wondering what to say that wasn't mean but still a funny smart-ass thing to say. She thought of it, "You know mom if you keep trying to be funny, someday it just might not be that obvious that your trying to hard." Not too bad, not too good, cheesy but in the funny kind of way. They were driving threw the quiet neighborhood when Jade spoke, "When we drive through this street it's always this quiet; worse, deserted." Jade's mother looked from the road to the pain-in-the-ass that had found it's way into her car. She mumbled, "You always say that, since the first day we drove through here." Jade shot a scolding look at the woman she had the mutual feeling for, "That was two days ago," She tried not to laugh at her mom's returning look, Jade's eyes bright as she smirked at her triumph.

They drove threw a four way intersection before-- ERRKK! A loud stomp of the foot that belonged to Jade's mother wasn't quick enough to stop before a larger truck hit the driver's side of the small Volvo. The sound of metal bending, colliding, shifting, burning, screeching, melting-- loud screams filled Jade's ears as she was pulled from the car. The flames grew larger and danced across the top and sides of the small car. Jade saw a figure fighting to open the driver's door-- her mother. Jade didn't know how, but she could smell skin and blood boiling, the gasoline leaking, the rubber of the tires melting, it terrified her. Her mother, burning alive, her screams of pain muffled as the fire claimed her. "No!" Jade screamed as strong arms swung around her, stopping her from running to the car. Seconds later, everything paused, Jade had broken free and ran towards the car.

Everything in the world turned upside down as the car exploded sending Jade into the windshield of another car; knocking her out. The flames turned red, orange, blue, yellow, and morphing into a beautiful crimson as it expanded and swallowed the small car like a beast eating it's prey. The explosion must have been spectacular and heart-breaking all at the same time. The cries of the victim were silenced in that split-second where time stood still, where if mockingbird had flow by, Jade could have seen it's small motions, magnificent and captivating like the monstrous thing that had just claimed the person closest to her heart. The woman's silenced screams of pain replaced by her daughters; grief, that is what this is called.

Jade regained some knowledge of the accident as she fluttered her eyes open. Her head hurt. It was bandaged and herself dressed in a hospital gown. She knew where she was, her eyes filled with tears. The doctors didn't even try to explain, they knew from the look in her malice-scarred eyes that she knew what happened. She knew more than anyone else. The light of the sun crept through the blinds of the only window in the room. It seemed cold, pale, a million different things to her, all but what she needed home. The warmth of the hospital bed didn't comfort her, the food didn't satisfy, the company of her dad and his lovely new wife didn't seem to matter, her mother was gone, and she wasn't coming back. The drugs pulsing through he veins had not sedated the emptiness with in her. The man she called her father couldn't reconcile the connection she shared with Alison, the beautiful relationship a mother and daughter shared.

The days passed on. Jade lingered on the edge of the hospital bed lost in thought. Her eyes left hallow, her face lacking expression, the Jade once known was lost in the abyss of grief that infected the quiet room. Her heart felt heavy in her chest, Jade didn't notice the breath she held. To her, the next breath meant less to her than the food being brought in by the young nurse; oh joy, food. Jade glanced outside the window into the nearby park filled with mothers and fathers, their spawn conjuring up some type of trouble for them to make disappear. Jade had stopped crying after the police brought in photos of her mothers body to be identified, well; what was left of it. She hadn't spoken a word since the day she was brought to the hospital.

The nurse placed the tray next to the bed, she swallowed her breath choking on her words, "I'd say I knew how you felt, but than I would be lying." The young woman looked to the small figure tracing the lines of it's gown with weak fingers. "I'll pray for you," the nurse turned to leave and stopped in her tracks at the sound of Jade's whispers from the cracks of her lips. The nurse turned to look into the blackened shades surrounding the hallow core of Jade's eyes, "I will pray for her," the nurse left. Jade collapsed onto the floor scrabbling to clasp her arms around her legs and rock herself to generate any sanity she had left lingering in the back of her mind. Her hair stuck to the edges of her striking features, anger swept through her.

Jade tried to scream, the breath escaping her lungs. Grabbing the tray she threw it at the cream-colored wall. She wouldn't eat. She'd rather die than live on with the mingling feeling of guilt and grief, it stained her eyes. She swept the flowers and photos off the tables occupying the corner tables of the room. Glass picture frames and vases shattered to the floor and water streamed across the floor outside the doorway leaving a small pool. Jade grabbed the photos and ripped them apart, shredding the memory of her broken family. She couldn't breath, rage snaked through her veins. New drugs overtook her as a doctor pierced her skin with a needle, trying to comfort her with the liquid mercy.

Jade's eyes fluttered open, her body immobile because of restraints. She looked to her side finding her father sitting in the chair rubbing the back of his neck, he looked at her. "Hey sweetie, you're awake," he stood and kissed Jade's forehead, "I thought you'd be out longer from all the commotion you caused." He smiled trying to fake a joke or two, and knock his daughter out of her silenced state, "I was thinking you and I could go somewhere together, after you get better." He stroked Jade's small hand, "Maybe meet some new people, get you a nice place where you can write." Jade's eyes looked into her father's focused ones without any concern, she left herself contempt; emptied. She just smiled and laced her fingers with his, holding back the words that snaked it's way into her mind, why is he lying?

Jade looked up to her father and smiled, "Can I go home?" her voice was husked, barely acknowledge by her step-mother sitting across the room. His smile faded, "Well baby, the doctor says your still pretty sick," Jade's eyes clouded and her smile faded as well. He caressed Jade's hand and tapped it gently, "We will see." his words held no promise; Jade knew it, her father knew it, even the baby kicking inside her step-mother's growing stomach knew it. Words don't hold promises, they are meant for excuses. Jade moved her hand, she forced out some words, "When is the funeral?" she lifted her lashes. Her father shifted clearing his throat, "Uh..., next week." He reached for her hand, "Babe, I really think you should do your finals after you get better and just wait out the last week of school... I mean with your mother and all, it's best you stay here."

Jade twisted her bound arms in discomfort. She glared at him, anger feeding her words, "I'm not crazy, I am perfectly capable of taking the finals and facing the incoherent people trying to comfort me," Jade's eyes never left her father's. Her words hit him hard, he knew bringing up his ex-wife and making her seem the problem for Jade's behavior only made it worse. Jade wanted to scream at this person taking over her, she felt like the floor would crumble beneath her, "I have had about enough of your psycho-babble bullshit that you constantly try to shove down my throat, had you not left mom and I, she might still be alive!" oh shit, too late. Jade wanted to cry, scream at him, beat him until he could feel at least a fraction of the pain she felt.

He couldn't find words to bring justice to himself, and crush Jade's hurtful words. She was right, and he hated himself for it. The room kept silent until another doctor walked in, "Jade, feeling better?" just peachy. Jade forced a lazy smile, "Yeah, I think so, when can I go back to school?" The doctor looked confused, "Uh, soon, we hope, depends on what your father thinks." Jade refused to look at her father's face, she'd rather break out of here than stay another day being treated like a guinea pig. The so called doctor had one of those, 'you're crazy, but I won't treat you like my next science experiment' attitudes that had you praying his head would explode.

The doctor flashed a cheesy smile revealing capped teeth, "Mr. Quinn?" his voice held hope that he'd be rid of yet another patient. The room filled with all the negative energy of the previous argument. Jade held onto her forced happiness and smile, refusing to show weakness and be labeled a traumatized victim. Her father stood up, "Um, yeah," he paused and hoped Jade would look at him. He breathed, "We could leave today if you don't mind?" he looked over at his pregnant wife, a vision with that glow only the pride of having her first child with the man she loved could give her. She smiled, a pretty little blond with sparkling blue eyes. The doctor look relieved, "Sure, just fill out these documents and she's free to go." Jade wished she had a bed pan, won't have a smile when I am done with you.
         
The day was as it was expected to be; hell. People came and went to the casket in the back-center of the funeral hall, some of them Jade had never seen before. Jade just put on her thanks-for-coming-to-my-mother's-funeral-even-though-I-have-no-idea-who-the-hell-you-are act and played the mourning daughter of the now dead single mom. She saw the pity in their eyes, sympathy, some even had envy; envy! She couldn't believe it, her mother dies a horrible death that only an action movie should of had, than she gets half a million dollars in life insurance and people envy her for it. She just tried to stop her hands from finding their way to each and every one of those bastards throats. Jade felt like half of her heart was missing and all she could think about was forcing the life from the everyone else in the room. They had nothing better to do but show up to a private funeral and offer their condolences, no one asked me if I wanted it in the first place, Jade blankly stared at the wall above the priests' head. Took more will power than she had to ignore his testimonies of how death is not the end but the beginning of a new beautiful adventure.
         
What a load of crap, Jade smirked. nothing beautiful about a 'closed' casket. She hated her attitude, but it was the only way to stop from breaking down and causing another scene. All she could think about was getting home to her bed and spend the rest of her existence sleeping. She would write had her book not been burned along with her mother. better buy another one. Jade made it sound simple, like a usual thing, deep down she didn't want a different one. The book was a 16th birthday present from Alison, the only person that encouraged Jade's writing.

A knock came at her bedroom door. "It's open." Jade didn't move or turn to greet the visitor. A large presence walked next to her and placed a leather-covered book on the her bed. Jade couldn't see his face but his body was muscular, maybe an athlete. She opened her mouth to say the words that were saved only for him. He heard her take a deep breath and stopped at the doorway. Jade let out the breath, "You don't have anything to say?" She made it seem like it was his fault-- it is his fault. He turned to see the Jade's piercing eyes like they could melt the flesh off his face. She could see him now. Tall, blond, boyish features. He looked like a teen model only had the body of a man.

His eyes. The first thing she locked onto. He meant her eye to eye, breath to breath, fear to anger. They were hazel with green flecks. She remembered them. He was tanner now than he was weeks ago but it was still the same superman. He seemed sad, and that nagged at base of Jade's thoughts. She felt like a bitch who just smashed a challenge at the man that had saved her life. He deserves it. Jade kept gazing waiting for an immediate answer like it was any easy thing to respond to. He ran a hand through his short hair, stopping at the base of his neck to scratch. He coughed while trying to crush an irritating urge to call Jade out on her rudeness. Jade returned to a box she was packing clothes into, stopping to grab tape from her desk.

He moved closer to her, "I-- um-- well you see-- sorry" he sounded like he had tried rehearsing the words and forgot what to say. Jade shot a 'fuck you' look at him and returned to her box. idiot. "What the hell?" he shot back.

Jade turned to face the man that had crawled into her space like a bug. "Just stop, don't try and act like you know how I feel." She hated him and she wasn't sure why. She breathed impatiently, "Have you anything to say, or do you just want to make things worse?" she really was a bitch. She hadn't treated a man like that except for her father. What does he want a medal? Jade sighed. Maybe even a 'thank you for stopping me from saving my mother' kiss? He just looked at her, completely stunned by her words. The man prepared to leave before word vomit drug his ambitions back to the surface. "Okay, what the hell is your problem?" he gave her the same 'fuck you' look and wish she'd choke on it. If ever there was a time for someone to call fire, the time would be now.

Jade sucked her teeth obnoxiously, "I have a problem with you." She just stood there like she had kicked him in the balls. Who does he think he is? The young man just stood in his train of thought waiting for her to bite his head off. Jade shrugged again and just sighed, "Why are you here?" The situation felt like a bad break-up, only worse. Jade walked over to the leather-covered book and held it in her arms. "How did you get this?" she looked up to see that the man was gone. Her hero left, he was done dealing with the awkwardness of an apology. my apology, Jade thought. She felt like shit, it wasn't his fault. Jade just couldn't stop blaming everyone involved. She blamed herself, her father, the drunk truck-driver that she hoped was burning in hell, even the man that saved her. great, she cooed.