Pack Up and Get Out

My hand is shaking as my cold blood begs for circulation
There are no smiles for this face tonight
Thoughts go by unnoticed, I stare at the wall
These eyes will not shut tonight

I stopped to get you flowers on the way home
The florist eyed me jealously as I waved my way out the door
Things are not always as they seem
Tonight, I bang my fist against the desk as that clerk sleeps peacefully

This gnawing pain in my stomach makes me want to transfer that pain to you
But common decency is the only thing keeping you safe
It's either you or I
So this battered skin is forced to take what is your punishment

At work today a man approached me
He told me something I thought unimportant at the time
But now I will hold his words close to heart
His old, chapped lips uttered the fateful words

"Take that nourishment away, I don't want to see another day
Let me die in this hospital bed, stop this mental bloodshed
She was all I had, and the warmth of another was all she had
Discard that tray, go home by yourself tonight, do not be led astray"

His words went in one ear and out the other
Only to find their way back in when I came to discover
He was leaving as I was coming
You were giving away by your reckless humming

In my mind I grabbed you by the hair and tossed you into the street
In reality I kindly asked you to leave
In my mind I drove the steak-knife from last nights meal through your heart
Less painful than the machete you drove through mine

Tonight will be painful, along with tomorrow
But you will not get near me and I will not get near you
As you live your new life apart from mine
I constantly pray you cry yourself to sleep each night

Flowers in hand, I write this is your honor
Pen in hand, I think selfishly in your honor
As the sun rises and its rays find their way to my eyes
Tears find their way way into yours