Enlightenwhat? Episode 2:

Enlightenwhat? Part II: No Game

"Every body continues in its state of rest, or of uniform motion in a right line, unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed upon it." - Sir Isaac Newton, Principia Mathematica, 1687

Meet Bob. Bob has a problem. Bob is very small, and very dorky, and he often finds himself being bullied, pushed around, and otherwise picked on. Bob hates people. Lucky for Bob, he is also an evil genius. Bob has spent the last twelve years in his basement building a machine of unparalleled destructive force. Now Bob is the problem. The “Super Awesome Termination Vehicle,” or Super-ATV, was designed to be indestructible, undefeatable, indivisible, and also fairly comfortable. Super-lightweight aerospace grade titanium made up both the frame and the paneling, with multi-layered, solid rubber tires. Powered by an experimental electro-magnetic engine and a small, also-experimental turbine, the Super-ATV was capable of traveling indefinitely at incredible speeds. Bob also equipped his masterpiece with a variety of weapons, including, but not limited to: one Stingray rocket launcher, two (front and rear mounted) flame throwers, a release system for dropping mines and/or grenades, and a laser weapon of Bob’s own design. But the true genius of Bob’s machine of death was the advanced anti-weaponry defensive laser matrix that protected Bob and the Super-ATV from almost all forms of conventional weaponry. Combined with a high-density Kevlar space-suit, it was unlikely that anything even the United States military threw at him would have any effect. Bob and his Super-ATV are currently flying down the North Lake Shore Drive area of Highway 41 toward central Chicago, where he plans to start his rampage. As he rounds the corner at East Lake Shore Drive, a bright red Dodge Viper whips out in front of him. “AHA!” Bob screams, welcoming his first victim. His right thumb flies to a button near the throttle, and a whining scream shakes the air as the Super-ATV reverberates with power. The turbine above the rear wheels fires up, launching Bob and the Super-ATV foreword at an incredible speed. So fast, in fact, that Bob just shot right by the unsuspecting Viper and out over Lake Michigan. Bob seems to have screamed “Wrong fucking button!” before the Super-ATV landed with a super splash in the lake, two hundred feet from the shore. The advanced anti-weaponry defensive laser matrix attacked the water with great gusto for about two and a half seconds before shorting out and exploding, incinerating Bob, the Super-ATV, and several hundred square feet of water. Back on the Highway, the red Dodge Viper has pulled over to stare out at the cloud of steam over the lake. “Wow,” the pony-tailed man says, “that was fucking cool.”