Transition to Somewhere

“Transition to Somewhere”

The stop was crowded with people
All set to go somewhere
The whole place was busy, yet empty somehow
Vacant stares dominated the crowd
Minds were dull, focused elsewhere

I sat down for a while, to wonder
Why was it I had left the bus
This I pondered for a while
It seemed the bus had more left me
Than had I left it

Closer thought revealed things I disliked
Probably the passengers had taken no notice
Yes, the driver seemed totally oblivious to me
Brusque and curt at times, when I approached.
Probably the passengers could not care

Despite the noisy chatter within,
The riders had not real words for each other
No meaning was exchanged
Just there to ride life out, to burn energy
Spinning their wheels

The driver’s last exchange was taut
“Your stop is here, time to get off”
I protested to no avail
I so wanted to stay
Yet I found myself in the stop, alone

I looked up after what seemed years
Something had caught my eye
Drawn my interest
What was that….

My eye captured and held yours as you walked to me
You sat and as if we had been there before
We fell in easy intimate conversation
More than friends, perhaps less than lovers
Dancing with words, caressing with thoughts

I closed my eyes for but a second and you disappeared
I blinked and you were there, no… over there
I followed each time to a new bench
Where we touched minds
Thoughts linked

It became clear your heart belonged not to me
But another lucky soul who cared not
Who could not return the full measure of you
Who would not love you back
And you despaired

Each time we met my passion grew stronger
More futile, more empty
Imagine if you will…….
How impossible to love one
Who loves another and sees you not

One who cries out for help from you,
Demandingly, searingly
And then runs away
Only to repeat and repeat
The pattern again and again and again

Dreading and hating each moment together
Unable to deny the time,
Each second was craved, desired, hungered for
Like heroin to me

Oh dear reader,  I tried to pull away
But there was no exit from the stop
No tickets to buy, no pills to pop
Only the joyous pain of ignorance,
Closeness and the grey concrete walls
Surrounding each bench

I cannot say how long I spent at that stop
When yesterday, a bus rolled in
You were not there
You had left already, 
For your deserved place in the sun

I found a ticket somewhere and climbed aboard
Sat down and looked around at all the gray little faces
Who looked out at featureless places they knew not
And could not care where they ended up

My tears finally brimmed over and spilled
My spent passion from my soul
Leaving me empty, a cornhusk wrapper
No substance at all

The bus squeaked to a stop outside a tiny platform
I looked out from my reverie and was startled to hear
The driver say “This is where you get off” directly to me
My heart quailed as I stepped down
To the next bus stop in my life