MY WIFE LOVES MY BEST FRIEND RALPH

For a super macho guy, I have a very difficult confession to make…



I have had a long lasting (secret) love affair with my best friend Ralph!

You might say that we were inseparable, for I could always depend on Ralph to be by my side through thick and thin come rain or snow.

When my daughter broke down on a lonely dark street one night and called me with frightful tears in her eyes, Ralph went with me.

The day my son left for the Marine Corps, trying to cover his hidden fear with bluster and incessant yapping, Ralph was with me.

When I took old Yeller to the vet for his final farewell, Ralph was with me.

Ralph and I took a lot of fishing trips together. He never complained, was always ready to go, and he cheerfully carried most of the camping and fishing gear.

Ralph was one of the few friends I could always count on. Other friends would often profess that they'd be there when I needed them the most, however, only Ralph faithfully lived up to his commitment.

Ralph was a moderate drinker, he didn’t start smoking until shortly before he took that final trip, and Ralph never uttered a dirty word or bad thing about anyone.

I like to say that I was always faithful to Ralph. I took good care of him, fed him, gave him baths often, and even patted him like I did my old dog.

My wife knew of my deep love affair with Ralph, but she accepted it. You might say, she actually encouraged it! In fact, she and Ralph occasionally went places without me.

There were even times that I thought Ralph might be getting closer to her than to me. But, Ralph would always let me know where they'd been and what they'd been doing. I will admit that the night he went with my wife to a "girl's night out,' did raise an eyebrow or two.

In his early years Ralph was a real charmer. Most of the girls, and even some guys, would look at Ralph with wanton smiles and lustful glances. As Ralph grew older, he continued to portray an indomitable spirit. Ralph was a lot tougher than I ever hoped to be. He never complained of the heat or the cold, he had no problem waking up in the morning and he always had a 'let's roll' attitude.

The memories, both good and bad, I had with Ralph are hard to forget. You could seek for years and never find a friend as true as Ralph. Everywhere we went people would smile and say, "I see that you and Ralph are still together."

But, like everything else in life, there comes a time when friends must part. Ralph died not long ago. After years of faithful companionship, I had to let go of Ralph. I was devastated at first and the tears in my eyes wouldn't stop flowing, but our "love affair" was finally over…for good!

As I left Ralph at the dealership with a knot in my throat, I knew I would never find a truck as faithful as he had been. Trucks like Ralph are hard to find in today's market. Tyberius was a great truck and Fred was also a great truck, but Ralph was the best. I just hope that Ralph's replacement, my new truck 'Maximus,' will be as faithful to me and our friendship will last just a long.