Schedule

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Randy?”

“Yes, it is. May I ask who is calling?”

“Julie and I am here to remind you of your schedule.”

“My…schedule?”

“Yes, your schedule. You have received your schedule, haven‘t you?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Oh, well, I guess I will have to tell you it then. You are due at the town square to rally supporters and to tell them-”

“Wait! Who is this?”

“Julie, seventh ring, personal secretary of Beelzebub. You do know what this phone call is about, right?”

“No, I don’t. I think you have the wrong number.”

“You are Randy Hillmon, located on Westville Street in Dukeson county, Tennessee, right?”

“Yes, that’s where I live, but I don’t know what you are talking about or what the manner of this phone call is about.”

“Hmm…looks like Beelzebub slipped up with including some of your memory. No wonder you don’t know your schedule.”

“What?”

“Let me explain, you know what the Rapture is, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, this is the Rapture Initiation Center. We activate and inform members of our organization for inciting the Rapture. We’ve attempted many times over the past centuries, but this time seems to be the best of any time to act.”

“Wait, you’re an organization?”

“Yes, we are.”

“Based in where?”

“Hell.”

“Funny, but seriously?”

“I am serious. We are based in what is called Hell. It is also called the pit, lake of fire, place of the damned, with a number of other names. I am located on the seventh ring of Hell, the location of the violent.”

“Alright, I don’t think this is a serious phone call and this must be some kind of prank. I think it’s time for me to hang up.”

“Wait, Randy. Can I say one more thing?”

“What is it?”

“Hold on…three weeks ago on Perkins Street, the driver of a white sports car cut you off and preceded to give you the finger.”

“Umm…yes, that happened. How did you know that?”

“Let me finish. At about three miles north, the driver of the white sports car ran a red light and was t-boned by a dump truck. Am I right?”

“Yes.”

“He was killed instantly. Now, do you think it was a coincidence that he was killed?”

“I thought he was killed because he was a reckless driver.”

“That could’ve been a factor, but I don’t think that was the main cause.”

“So you’re saying that I killed that guy?”

“Do I have to mention the case of your former employer, Harold Carlson? He died two days after he reduced your pay. Or how Bill Neword was found dead after he insulted you and your family?”

“I was the cause of their deaths?”

“You wanted them dead and that’s all it took to make them that way, but let’s get back on track. Let me remind you you’re a very important part of our organization and the Rapture.”

“And how would that be?”

“You’re the Antichrist.”

“Excuse me?”