The Test

The autumn leaves sway with the breeze
And what is shaking, it’s my knees
As the new school semester looms ahead
Forcing me out of my comfortable bed

First I must take the Einstufungstest
And I assure you I will do my best
But there is much that I do now regret
To study would have been a better bet!

Deep in my stomach I feel queasy,
This test, I know, will not be easy,
To take a test entirely in the German,
I have nothing for luck, no talisman.

And here it comes, we line up now,
A to L, M to Z, two lines, and how!
Nearly a hundred of students to line,
As if they were a long piece of twine.

The line comes to around a large bend,
And it is time for it to come to my end.
In the room I go, heart all aflutter,
Hey, there I see my old instructor!

On a hard wooden bench I sit,
And I bring nothing, to wit,
Except for paper and passport,
My pen, without which I’d abort.

The first part of the test is passed,
Which should have left me aghast;
Grammatik, my so ancient foe,
A difficult subject, nothing pseudo.

And so I begin, with written gusto,
Aber, obwohl, Trotz, weil, also!
And most of it I make complete,
But how uncomfortable, my seat!

The second part came before me,
A difficulty, for all there to see!
Eine Textproduktion, an essay,
Which I would have to slay!

Fun, this second part was not,
As essays are by me not sought,
In German or in any language,
And always to me a great umbrage!

I make myself scribble what I can,
And must feel as if a hanged man,
My every word against me count,
No sentence allowed a discount.

I make a mistake here and there,
scribble it out, with much flair.
And then finally, I’m finished,
Feeling internally diminished.

And then I leave the class,
And think to myself, alas!
Maybe I go to Mittelstuffe
To which I'd say, "Oof'a!"

I walked all the way to home,
And sat, hair needing comb,
Before my computer, so happy,
Write this poem, which is so sappy.

And now, I give you one last line,
And must say, that it is just fine,
If with it I don’t quite rhyme,
Because I’m just too fricking tired.