God I have a question

It would have been nice if I would have lived a happy ever after as a Christian. But that isn't what Jesus said would happen, he said I will be with you always. So after I accept Jesus my children were so happy for me and my ex-mother-in law. I was hopping it would help our relationship. It did for a while she wasn't so physically abusive . I better back up so you can see how that started. I was born in a little town called Delhi Louisiana we were Cajun we didn't live on the water but about as back woods as they get. My daddy met my mom when she was 15 they had me when she was 15. My daddy was working in the cotton fields a short man 5'1 and he has short man altitude. My dad hated the fields so he joined the Army. Got shipped out and left my pregnant 15 year old mother. She trailed after him where ever he got shipped , he didn't like that the responsibility of it all . Well she came home to give birth and then daddy started sending money to take care of us. It made life easier for her, I'm sure life was hard for her . When I was about 1 she left with another man for a while then came back with another child. Then about a year later daddy put her on a bus and we never saw her again. Daddy should have been happy but he was a drinking man and blamed having to get out of the service on my mother because he said he had to get out of the service to take care of me. True or not hard to say, we lived in a shack and I slept with Grandma and Grandpa and I don't remember going hungry but we didn't have a lot of food. My Grandma so loved me, I remember her long hair how she would brush and braid it at night, and she would brush mine. How she would make homemade biscuits in a big dish pan , and make me coffee for breakfast thought she was a giant 4'11 . I don't know where my dad was during that time maybe California I don't know he came back with a women to pick me up I had been there about a year or two. He drove up one day and I remember fighting and my Grandma crying. Then my dad picking me up and putting me in the back seat. I remember standing up looking out the back window and crying and screaming for my grandma my hands pressed against the window and she was standing on the porch Grandpa holding her they were both crying may dad was so cold. He just got into the car and we drove away. We drove to California dad was working as a migrant fruit worker , dad had only a 2nd grade education so opportunities were few.
I liked the field work I would sleep in the car and when I would wake up I would walk down the isles of fruit hollering for my dad. I loved the smell of the fresh fruit and I could eat all that I wanted. And there were lots of little Mexican kids there and we played while our parents worked. When night came my dad went to the bars and he would take me. I sat at the tables while he played music or slept in the car. We always had a small place to live, nothing fancy but something. Dad went thru women , I'm sure he didn't know how to treat a woman . Dad had a temper and would slap or beat a women. My second step mom was the best she didn't hurt me . Her name was Nora she was nice to me made sure I had clean , had food , and structure. With my father being a alcoholic keeping a place was hard. Nora and dad were married for about 5 years and during that time life was great for me . I got to go to one school , and have friends and Christmas and fun. Then dad left Nora and we moved to this little shack in Tutelage California . What a place, little houses all bunched together I had relatives .
Any way Nora some how came to be there and one day while I was sleeping I was awakened with screams. As I opened my eyes blood hit the ceiling, my dad was on top of Nora beating her.  I jumped up and ran out side screaming , people were outside on our porch my cousins and I was crying saying help my mommie. They were trying to keep me outside. The women looking ill and the men mad. I got away and ran back inside and jumped on my dads back and hung on crying stop daddy your going to kill her. My dad  threw me off his back onto the floor, and when he did it hurt me and I cried out in a hurt voice and it was like it snapped my dad about of a trance and he shook his head and blinked his eyes looking at me. Then  he looked down at my step mother and started crying saying I'm so sorry God I'm sorry. She was unresponsive dad, with the help of the men they carried her out to the car and we took her to the hospital . I remember crying praying God don't let my mommie die. I never saw her again for 10 years and no one would tell me anything.  After that we moved back to Sacramento ,California and my father went to work and I was with my aunt and uncle and dad worked with this man they became friends. The man had dad over for dinner and my dad fell for that mans wife. How it played out I'm not sure but this woman left her husband and 5 children she took one the youngest  when she left .