Sleepless Beauty

Once upon a time, there was a king and a queen who ruled over a vast kingdom. Despite their numerous servants and acquaintances, the king and queen were very lonely. One day, the queen gave birth to a baby girl. Both the queen and her nurse were taken aback by just how unattractive the child was, yet the king merely smiled and gave the infant the name Beauty. Hearing the name, the queen cast her husband an incredulous look. “This wouldn’t by any chance have something to do with your obsession with irony, would it?”

Eyes shining merrily, the king merely hummed a joyous tune and went about his business. Realizing just how pointless arguing would be, the queen could do nothing but sigh as she handed her baby over to the nurse to be cleaned and fed. Thus, the child came to be named Beauty.

Despite Beauty’s horribly unappealing looks, the king and queen knew that they would never again be lonely. So, soon after the child’s birth, the king and queen decided to celebrate by throwing a ball (though this came as no surprise, considering the fact that kings and queens always seem to find some excuse to invite their entire kingdom to their palace).

Now, the queen had a small problem: she couldn’t stand for anything to be odd numbered (hence the reason for her second child being born no more than a year later). It just so happened, however, that there were five fairies that took residence in the kingdom. Of course, due to the queen’s problem, only four could be invited.

The ball was a tremendous success. No sooner had the other guests left (in pairs, of course), the fairies began to bestow their gifts upon Beauty. Though they were all tempted to bless the child with what her name suggested, the king absolutely forbade it (earning himself a night in one of the palace’s many guest rooms).

The gifts were nonetheless splendid: a voice that even the gods would envy, wit that could be matched by none, grace comparable to that of a swan, and eternal health. Unfortunately, before the king and queen could so much as thank the four fairies, the fifth stormed into the palace looking thoroughly displeased. “Why was I not invited?” she demanded, though she didn’t bother to wait for a response.

As was her right, the fifth fairy bestowed one final “gift” upon Beauty. In her fifteenth year, Beauty would meet with an unfortunate accident, which would in turn leave her, along with the rest of the palace residents, in a state of insomnia for one hundred years. Bidding the stunned king and queen farewell, the fifth fairy took her leave and was never seen again.

For fourteen years, Beauty lived her life as happily as any other princess. On her fifteenth birthday however, this was to change. As the fifth fairy had neglected to mention the nature of the unfortunate accident Beauty was destined to meet, the king and queen had no choice but to lock the confused princess in a secluded tower at the very top of the palace; the small tower included little more than a bed, window, and mirror.

After about an hour, Beauty had grown tired of gazing out the window, and instead turned reluctantly to the mirror. To her utter astonishment, the reflection that gazed back at her was nothing like what she was used to seeing. On the contrary, this girl was quite beautiful!

Hardly daring to believe her eyes, Beauty reached out a hand, thinking that surely this glorious vision would vanish at the slightest of touches. Sure enough, the moment her hand made contact with the mirror, it shattered into thousands of tiny shards, one of which happened to make the smallest of cuts on Beauty’s otherwise flawless (not counting the acne, of course) skin. The moment this happened, the entire palace court awoke from its slumber.

Just as the fairy had promised, not one person in the entire palace had any sleep for one hundred years, a fact that was more than apparent to anyone who saw them. One day, however, a prince heard the story of how a century ago, a princess by the name of Beauty fell under a spell that prevented her from sleeping. Gallant prince that he was, he decided to take it upon himself to single-handedly rescue this princess he had heard so much about. (Of course, the fact that he simply had to lay his eyes upon a princess with a name like Beauty had absolutely nothing to do with it.)

Many days later, the prince arrived at the palace. After explaining his intentions to a servant who looked as though she hadn’t slept in…well, a hundred years, the prince was taken to see Beauty. The first thought that came to the prince’s mind upon laying eyes on the princess was that she wasn’t nearly as beautiful as her name suggested. Though, considering her lack of sleep, he thought this quite understandable.

Of course, the prince figured that the only way to break the spell was to give Beauty a kiss. The king and queen agreed, thinking this to be the only sensible solution. Also agreeing with his uncontestable logic, the princess puckered up as she awaited the kiss. The prince hesitated only a moment before placing his lips against those of the princess.

No sooner had the prince’s lips made contact with the princess’, a bright light shrouded the entire palace. When it cleared, every single person within it (aside from the prince) fell into a long awaited slumber.

Hours later, once the princess had finally awakened, the prince received quite a shock: Beauty was no more attractive than she had been before the spell was broken! Feeling as though he had been purposely slighted, the prince returned to his own palace and was never seen by anyone in that kingdom again.