A Mother`s Love

Mother, it has been almost 5 years now and the love you showed for me has not ceased. We had a bond that even death could not take away. I remember well all the sacrifices you made. I think back to when i was a child and you came home from work so exhausted from working in the factory, i admired you for that. And that day..dear god..when i was waiting for you in the driveway..you pulled up, smiled at me, then threw your head back and had a heart attack. I was 6 and remember it like it was yesterday. God was watching over you,was a miracle you lived.

I spent most of my childhood worried i would lose you. Its wasnt fair you were sick your whole life, but to see you go on and to raise 5 kids , god was watching over us too. I rememer when money was scarce and i wanted something so bad, you would do anything to get it for me. I remember mama....

I remember the day i took you to the doctor and he made us sit 3 hours in that dreadful little room, i knew it was going to be bad, cause you had been so tired and in such pain. Then when he just blurted out.."sorry..you have cancer and its incurable"..and walked out, you started crying and it broke my heart..we cried all day. You didnt know it, but i gave him a huge piece of my mind..i chased him down the hall and told him how i felt, he apologized..and only now am i realizing that he was so used to giving bad news all the time, he didnt think anything of it. I would apologize to him if i could remember his name.

For the nine months after that day that you lived, it was so rough to see you suffer so. When no amount of medication could stop the pain, i know you thought i was strong, but mama, i was dying inside, even though i wasnt showing it, i had to be strong just like you were. All the times i took you to the emergency room and raised hell when they didnt take you right in....when i would get the codes to the automatic doors and take you in there myself...lol..i have to laugh mama, cause i know you would do the same for me if i was the one sick. They could never figure out how i was getting the security codes. And i still wont tell..

The day you passed was so hard mama, but the instant you left this world, you threw your arm straight in the air,i had chills..cause you were in a coma for several days..that told me you made it! You are in such a good place now and i have to smile, even though i miss you so much, you are no longer in pain. I will always remember you and try my best to pass on that love to my children. They know they are loved, they know a mother`s love as well as a father`s love..for that i will always be thankful mama. I love you.