No-one but you (Chapter 1)

Disclaimer: This is my first story and English is not my first language, so please don't be too harsh with me ;) Nevertheless I would really, really appreciate some feedback! Thank you!
The story is not finished yet, but I can't afford to pay for the membership to put it in the "Books" section. If someone is interested in reading more I will upload the other chapters as static items as well, because it looks like I can't add chapters to this.
I hope you will enjoy reading my short story :)


Chapter 1

„I love you, April.“ From the look on his face I could see that he meant it. His face was like an open book – it was so easy to read, I could at once tell when he was hiding something from me. Like Valentine’s Day last year when he had been so excited about the gift he had gotten me that I had noticed he was up to something. I had begged him to tell me what it was until he gave it to me a day early.
And right now his face was just as sincere as it could be. There was this sparkle in his amber eyes, the sparkle that had been the first thing I noticed about him when I met him. Amber, what an unusual color. Sometimes I just got lost in eyes and stared at him for minutes. “I love you, too, Ryan.” I whispered, meaning it as much as he did. He smiled and as his lips crushed on mine, carefully at first and then more passionate I felt how a warm feeling rushed through me. His hands were everywhere, in my hair on my back running down my spine…I had goosebumps and yes, I felt completely happy, and I knew I had found my spot in this world – which was definitely with Ryan. I was convinced that if there was such thing as fate we were destined to be together. I closed my eyes kissing him back, wishing the moment could just last forever, but suddenly the scene faded and I no longer felt  Ryan’s arms wrapped around me. When I opened my eyes it was dark. And it was cold.

Nevertheless I was sweating when I woke up and the same second it struck me that it had just been a dream. A dream that would never come true and I was stuck again – in the nightmare that was supposed to be my life. I switched off the annoying alarm that had taken the dream away from me in the first place. Fucking alarm, and it was fucking Monday, which meant another fucking week to survive ahead of me. You see, I have never been much of a swearing person, but people change.
I closed my eyes, just another five minutes until I would get up. But of course, the moment I shut my eyes, I was surrounded by darkness, for the billionth time the memories crossed my mind, as vivid as if it had been only yesterday. The night at the movies as usual, hanging out at the mall as usual, the ride back home a little late for curfew as usual… It could not have been a more normal Saturday night for me and my boyfriend and still it changed everything. It was like the world had stopped turning, like time had stop passing. Not that it would have mattered to me. Or that I would have noticed.
So I got up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I guess that what you do, what normal people do, in the mornings. Brush your teeth, have breakfast and leave for work or school or whatever. I neither cared about any of these things anymore nor did I really notice doing them anymore. I just did them, trying to pretend to have a normal life like everyone else. A life that actually makes sense, a life with family, friends, a future and a life with a boyfriend. Well maybe I had family and friends, but as I said I did not really notice them anymore. And what point was there about future anyways. I mean people always talk about all these things, you graduate from high school, then you go off to college and you might meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with or you might not and then you may end up as a boring suburban couple with two kids and you are stuck being bossed around at some office job. Or you end up being the 40-year-old virgin if you chose the latter. But it is all not going to work for me.
When I had brushed my teeth for five minutes I spit the toothpaste out. I looked at the basket with my make up, but I did not even consider putting it on. Why should I put make up one, noone was going to notice it anymore anyways. I grabbed my purse, muttered a casual “Morning.” to my mom and my dad, who looked worried as usual. It had not always been usual, not until two months ago – June 2nd I will never forget that date. I had never been the one give them grief, it had always been Rachel. My little sister had a natural talent for getting in trouble, but now Rachel seemed to be holding herself together pretty much, because she knew that I was already more than my parents could deal with. It is not like I liked this kind of role change. Maybe it will be better for Rachel’s life though. Since mine did not matter anymore it was not much of a sacrifice for me. Besides I was not really hurting anyone or doing anything wrong. I had never skipped school or gotten into a fight and I always turned my assignments in. But I think that was what I was giving my parents trouble with. I would have been easier for them if I had started beating up some Freshmen or smoking pot, but I had never done any of those things. I was just there, went to school, got home, had lunch, did homework and went to bed. Sounds like a pretty normal life, doesn’t it? So I did not understand what everyone was so worried about. Ok, maybe I quitted social chair in school, but a lot of people think there is not much about all these school dances and charity stuff anyways. I mean who cares about Homecoming, football is lame anyway. Or about Prom. I mean what is all this Senior year excitement and nostalgic Ohmigod-we’re-growing-up stuff about anyways? I mean Senior year, it is just another year of high school, but with more work, homework and SAT. It would be sad if it was actually the best year of our lives, because then what else would there be to live for? But I already got past that point, I have already had the time of my life. What else could there be for me in this world except for fading memories, like distant dream.
“Honey, don’t be late from school, your grandparents are coming over for dinner tonight.” My dad reminded me as I was walking through the front door. Oh yes, dinner with the grandparents, just great. Another night spent answering stupid questions, pretending to be normal. Who was I going to fool? My grandparents knew that nothing was normal. I used to be really close to my grandparents and so was Ryan… My grandpa had us taken out sailing pretty often. Yes, it had been fun back then, but it all seemed so far away.
“Nah, I won’t be late.” I told my dad. I had never been home late from school and I had never made any plans of my own since June 2nd, even though it was not that nobody had asked me to hang out with them. But who does need social life anyway, it is all just a society of hypocrites out there. They are just waiting like the vultures and if they hear a nasty story about you it is like cadaver to them. They will eat it up, all of it, to the bones. And if you don’t have any little scandal to offer they will just make one up. Trust me, I know what I am talking about. I used to be one of them.

I grabbed my car keys. They were in the usual spot, which again had been quite unusual for me until June 2nd. Actually I used to be pretty chaotic. But now I could not stand just leave things lying around anymore. Everything had to be folded neatly, so at least to the outside world everything would look just fine. I will not give the vultures give a reason to gossip. Of course this won’t stop them. Of course in my case there is always something to gossip about. So everything will just be neat. In the movies where people get along and live happily ever after they are always clean and tidy, too, so why not just be like that as well. Yes, June 2nd had helped bring some order into my mess – at least on the surface- but it had turned me into mess.