A Tighty Whitie Kind of Soul

She cupped her hands underneath the bust of her dress, and puckered her lips in a kissing motion as she gazed earnestly at her reflection looking for any imperfections or flaws she might be able to fix. Her hair was tied up and back in an intricate tightly controlled manner, leaving only the short blond curls of her bangs hanging down loosely around her green makeup covered eyes. She went through the entire range of all three emotions she understood, found herself pleased with each one. "I look so cute, even when I'm like, mad." She thought to herself.

She was not mad, however, nowhere near it. Her senior prom was tonight, and everything seemed just perfect. The red dress she wore was beautiful, hair and makeup were fantastic, and in just a few minutes, her long-time boyfriend Nathan would be there to pick her up in a sophisticatedly understated stretch hummer.

Nathan was a popular guy. He was handsome and appeared bright. He played football and did well academically and was esteemed by teacher and student alike. Nathan never harassed or taunted outcasts nor engaged in the hazing rituals of his fellow teammates. And once while exiting the lunchroom with friends, he said hello to the school’s pariah, a lonely boy of slight obesity who sat every day by himself and stared dismally at the wall afraid to make eye contact with anyone else in the lunchroom while he ate the undercooked soggy French fries that adorned every different entrée as a side.

There was, however, an unexplainable sadness within Nathan that stayed with him constantly, and although to everyone else, his life was grand, he never really felt any kind of fulfillment in anything he did. Nathan was a simpleton, he was capable of very real yet intangible emotions, which he had no idea how to express and no encouragement from those around him to do so. Thus, he kept himself hid from everyone, and occasionally said hello to a recluse or picked up a dropped book when the opportunity presented itself, which was almost always awarded with awkwardness and an anxious return that gave him no reward for his deeds.

No one knew these things about Nathan, except Belinda. She had seen it right away about him. Unlike Nathan she was cunning and capable of great insight, though not necessarily smart, and she was unable to improvise or deal with situations not of her own volition. Above all, ambition drove her, and Nathan suited her desires and abilities exactly, so one day during lunch of their freshman year she sidled up to him. She told him how she thought he was “a real sweetheart” and that he was cute, and as Nathan stared down into her pretty green eyes, and past the small frays of her playful blond curls, his heart melted and reformed in the space of a moment and he fell in love.

So through the years of high school they became more than a couple, they were an institution, Nate and Belinda, always together, you couldn’t have one without the other. She kept him at arms length and he constantly ached for anything palpable to hold on to. He looked forlornly at homely girls and wished to save them from his perception of their suffering, but found no release. The only outlet for his frustration was Belinda, to treat her with unwavering attention and kindness, for which he was seldom rewarded with what he desired from her. They never had sex since Belinda insisted that she was waiting for the right time, and Nathan was obligatory because he assumed she meant marriage, and because he didn’t crave sex either, at least not in the animalistic way that most of his friends and schoolmates did. To him, the same feeling could be achieved with a warm knowing smile, or a hug, or a small kiss; he craved intimacy and tried express it constantly, yet never was it returned to him. Years went by and Nathan kept his heart to himself. Nearly every night before bed he would feel as if on the verge of a breakdown, but no end came; only the fear of one lingered. Every day he awoke with more sadness and he would remember Belinda, and it would cause him to rise up and take the day with the optimism that it would lead to what he sought, he would really show himself to her and she would be so moved she would do the same, “today is the day” he told himself. It never was though. Every attempt he made was thwarted before it could scarcely begin, and his anguish grew.


She walked down the steps from her room and waited for Nathan. Her mother came in and poured over her. "Belinda, you look so beautiful honey!" she squealed. “Oh my goodness, honey, you remind me of my prom, my dress wasn’t this nice though, and I didn’t have a pro do my hair, I’ll tell you that much!”
“It looks good doesn’t it?” Belinda asked.
“Of course it does dear! It ought to for what we had to pay to get it done!” By we, she meant her husband.
“I can’t wait for Nate to get here; you should see the tux I picked out for him.”
“Is it nice?!”
“It is soooooo nice!”
“I’ll bet it is, you know you have really developed a good eye for fashion sweetie, I’m really proud of you.” Belinda smiled largely back at her in acceptance of the compliment.
“Now dear, you look lovely and I know that prom has its temptations but you need to rememb…”
“Oh my God mom, I know, I know!”
“I’m sure Nate is going to have his expectations tonight babe, and you look very nice, plus the mood of prom and some of your friends might be doing it.”
“He’s not like that mom, it’s not a problem.”
“Listen to me dear, and you listen good.” She took her gently by the arm. “All men are like that, all of them. You can’t let them get the upper hand. I did with your father when I was your age, and you happened. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. It’s just by the Lord’s blessing that Bob was kind enough to still want me, even with another man’s child. And now I have to keep….” She was interrupted by the sight of Nathan’s limousine pulling up in front of the house which averted Belinda’s attention.

The door of the limo opened and Belinda watched in absolute horror as out stepped a foot, not covered in a black sock and expensive dress shoe, but encased in a large house slipper resembling the foot of a bear, followed by a leg which bore only the meager hair that grew on it. Two bare arms grabbed hold of the vehicle door and pulled Nathan out from inside, wearing only the slippers, a trilby, a grand smile, and a neatly ironed and shining pair of tighty whities.

Belinda opened the door to the house and ran outside in alarm. "Nate, what are you doing, where is your tuxedo!?" She demanded

"I guess it's still at home, I didn't bring it."

"This isn't funny Nate, put your tux on." She was near crying.

"I don't have it Belinda, I decided to go like this."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Nate I'm serious."

"So am I. Can't you see Belinda, this is me, the real me. I feel so free now. Yesterday I realized that the clothes I was wearing were keeping me back, keeping me from expressing who I really am.

"Nate you sound crazy, are you telling me you're never going to wear anything else again."

"That's right, tighty whities, my bear feet, and a trilby, from here on out."

"What are you gonna do in the winter Nate?"

"Uh hello, we live in southern California, you silly goose." he inappropriattely joked.

She paused and tried to process what was happening. He was staring right at her, grinning, and she wanted to slap him right in that stupid smiling mouth of his.

"What about us being prom king and queen, I wanted to so bad, you've just ruined that Nate."

"Belinda! Can't you see that doesn't matter, it doesn't matter at all. You see I dress this way now because I feel like I have the freedom to soar and fly like a bird, a magical one. Yet this underwear gives me just the right amount of support that I need, and the bear feet protect me from the ravages of this concrete environment that we live in, and they're also great for a good bare/bear foot pun every now and then. The trilby looks cool and it's just the icing on the cake."

She stared at him slack jawed and completely blown away by what she was hearing. She just couldn't convince herself that it was for real. She turned and looked Nathan right in the eye and, tears welling up, pleaded with him. "Nate please just tell me this is a joke, I won't be mad. You can't go to prom like this."

"I don't want to go to prom, I want you to go ice skating with me tonight, I need the warmth of your body to keep me warm out on the rink."

"I'm going to prom Nate!" she yelled. "Are you going to put on a tux and come with me, or not."

"This is more than just an outfit, Belinda; it's a metaphor for how I feel about you. You see" He paused and looked deep into her eyes. "You are the tighty whities of my soul, you keep me grounded just enough, yet still give me the freedom to soar."

"Nathan, you sound like a damn crazy person."

"Come with me Belinda, let us forget these trivial things like prom, and dresses, tuxedos, school, and football. All we need is each other, it's like the Beatles said." He sang in an out of tune falsetto. "All we need is love, love. Love is all we need."

She stared at him again and this time she saw a stranger, not the cool, handsome, athletic boy that she once knew. Her eyes were pouring out tears, and with a heavy heart sobbed. "This isn't you Nate, I can't be with you anymore, I just can't, I don't know what happened to the boy I knew before."

"Nothing Belinda, its still me, it more me than ever before." he said gravely.

"No, no; it isn't Nate; I just can't believe this is happening, I can't believe it's ending this way."

"Damn it Belinda it doesn't have to." He pleaded.

She looked up at him one last time and said simply. "Goodbye Nate."

As she ran back inside the house, Nathan felt the sick sensation of heartbreak and humiliation. He turned dejectedly and got back into the limo. His beloved tighty whities formed into an uncomfortable and intrusive wedgie, and he broke down and wept miserably.