My 1,000 word sentence rant!

NOTICE: I had a horrible case of sleep deprivation while at a first period study hall, and I just happened to have a laptop with me and my friend's email address. What follows is in no way serious, has no meaning whatsoever, and is the result of overworking one's brain by trying to be in too many places at once. This is NOT an actual piece of writing which I am expecting reviews from- I just wanted to put it up so that you can see what a crazy loon thinks like at 8:30 in the morning without her normal REM cycle. Perhaps you will be amused... I was, reading it afterward... but perhaps not. I, however, hope you are. Ciao!

*Also- Fudge is the friend who never should have given me her email. I am not, in fact, referring to a delicious and creamy dairy treat.
*Also also- Puppy Chow is not actual dog food, it is a chocolatey, peanut buttery, sugary clog-your-arteries snack food that I tend to eat in abundance whenever I can.
*NO ENERGIZER BUNNIES WERE HARMED IN THE FORMING OF THIS RANT*

My Totally Amazing and Wonderful Approximately 1,000 Word Sentence

HOWDY FUDGE!!!!! Once again, it is 8:34 (ooh, now its 8:35!) in the morning- Tuesday morning, to be exact- and I am sitting at one of the fairly uncomfortable library tables writing this loverly note on a laptop! (yes, I am aware I spelled ‘lovely’ wrong, I did it on purpose, it makes a word better when you personalize it… hmph.) HEY YOU KNOW WHAT FUDGE I AM COMPLETELY TIRED AND MY HAND IS CRAMPING- HAHA CRAMPING LOOKS LIKE CRAPPING HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT HAHAHAHAHA- AND I CAN’T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP EVEN DURING A STUDY HALL WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE I MEAN WHO CAN’T FALL ASLEEP DURING A STUDY HALL EVEN WHEN THEY’VE GOT SOMETHING TO DO ANYWAY I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW TIRED I AM CAN YOU I MEAN ITS LIKE I JUST ATE A GALLON OF SUGAR ONLY I DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE PLAIN SUGAR IS GROSS IT’S GOT TO BE PILED ON TOP OF COOKIES OR CEREAL OR CHOCOLATE MILK OR IN WATER OR SOMETHING YOU KNOW BUT THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY SUGAR HERE ANYWAY OR ANY CHOCOLATE MILK SO I KNOW FOR A FACT I HAVEN’T HAD A GALLON OF SUGAR FORCED DOWN MY THROAT ALTHOUGH I DID HAVE ABOUT A PINT OF PUPPY CHOW A FEW DAYS AGO MAYBE IT’S JUST CATCHING UP WITH ME I STILL HAVE SOME IT’S IN MY BOOKBAG AND I’M GOING TO EAT IT AFTER SCHOOL YUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM I LOVE PUPPY CHOW DO YOU LOVE PUPPY CHOW OF COURSE YOU DO BECAUSE NO ONE IS ABLE TO NOT LOVE PUPPY CHOW BECAUSE IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN COOKIES BECAUSE IT’S GOT CHOCOLATE AND SUGAR (CONFETIONER’S SUGAR WHICH IS TOTALLY BETTER THAN REGULAR SUGAR DUH) AND PEANUT BUTTER OR NOT PEANUT BUTTER DEPENDING ON IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT AND IT’S GOT VANILA (EEEW THAT STUFF SMELLS SOOOO GOOD BUT IT TASTES SOOO BAD I CAN’T BELIVE IT WOULD DECIEVE ME LIKE THAT) ^.^ HEY I LIKE THAT IT’S SOOO CUTE ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ OOOOOH IT’S LIKE AN ARMY OF LITTLE SMILEY ANIME THINGS THAT ARE SO ADORABLE AND CUTE (UNLESS YOU GET THEM ANGRY) IF THEY’RE ANGRY THEY LOOK LIKE THIS >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< < >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< SEE ISN’T THAT AMAZING NOW THEY’RE ALL ANGRY AND STUFF AND ISN’T IT JUST SOOO CUTE I THOUGHT SO WOW THIS IS A REALLY LONG SENTENCE THIS IS AMAZING I WONDER HOW I’M DOING THIS USUALLY I FALL ASLEEP BY NOW WOW I CAN’T STOP TALKING THAT’S SOOOOOOO WEIRD I MEAN I USUALLY CAN STOP TALKING AFTER ABOUT FIVE MINUTES OR SO AND IT’S BEEN LIKE SIX MINUTES AND I’M STILL GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING JUST LIKE THAT STUPID ENERGIZER BUNNY MAN HE’S ANNOYING HE’S ALWAYS SO SMUG WHY CAN’T HE JUST LEAVE THE OTHER BATTERIES ALONE THERE’S NO NEED TO MAKE FUN OF THEM AND STUFF I MEAN THAT’S JUST MEAN AND COLD-HEARTED AND THAT BUNNY’S ON MY LIST ALONG WITH YOU FOR THE INFAMOUS LOST CHAPTER FIASCO AND PEOPLE WHO FOLD PAGES IN BOOKS TO KEEP THEIR PLACE (GRRRRR) AND ALSO THOSE PEOPLE WHO SIT AROUND ASKING STUPID RETORICAL QUESTIONS THAT NO ONE NEEDS TO HEAR AND THEN THEY SIT THERE TRYING TO ANSWER THEMSELVES REALLY LOUDLY UNTIL SOMEONE COMES UP AND TELLS THEM TO SHUT THE HECK UP BUT THEY DON’T BECAUSE THEY’RE STILL TRYING TO ANSWER THE STUPID RETORICAL QUESTION THAT THEY ASKED THEMSELVES IN THE FIRST PLACE WHY DO THAT WHY NOT JUST PONDER OUT A MEANINGFUL QUESTION INSIDE YOUR HEAD I MEAN IT’S COMMON SENSE PEOPLE BUT IT’S AMAZING HOW MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE DON’T HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE IT’S LIKE EVERY THIRD PERSON IN THE WORLD IS STUPIDER THAN THE REST OF ‘EM HOW DISGUSTING IS THAT I MEAN GEEZ GET SOME SENSE ONLY THEY CAN’T BECAUSE IF THEY DON’T HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE THAN THEY CAN’T GET ANY COMMON SENSE BECAUSE YOU NEED COMMON SENSE TO REALIZE YOU DON’T HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE DON’T PEOPLE GET THAT I MEAN OF COURSE THEY DON’T THEY DON’T HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE WHICH IS DUMB BECAUSE IF EVERYONE HAD COMMON SENSE THAN WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THE CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD OR CANCER OR THE END TO GLOBAL WARMING OR A SMART WAY TO STOP GLOBAL TAKEOVER BUT NO THAT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE NO ONE HAS ANY FREAKING COMMON SENSE BUT ENOUGH OF MY RANTING AND RAVING WHICH I’M ONLY DOING BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP TALKING OH MY GOSH I REALLY CAN’T STOP IT’S LIKE MY MIND JUST KEEPS GOING A MILE A MINUTE AND YOU’VE PROBABLY GONE RIGHT ON TO THE CHAPTERS BY NOW BUT IF YOU HAVEN’T YOU SHOULD TOTALLY PRINT THIS PART OFF AND LET ME READ IT BECAUSE I’LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’VE BEEN WRITING FOR THE PAST TEN MINUTES AND THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE SO THAT’S ALRIGHT WITH ME AS LONG AS I GET MY POINT ACROSS WOW THIS HAS BEEN THE LONGEST SENTENCE I’VE EVER WRITTEN THIS IS SO MUCH FUN BUT MY HAND IS CRAMPING (HAHA CRAMPING= CRAPPING HAHA) AND I CAN BARELY FEEL IT BUT THE THOUGHTS JUST KEEP COMING AND COMING AND COMING AND COMING AND COMING AND COMING AND COMING LIKE THE POMPOUS ENERGIZER BUNNY EXCEPT IN REVERSE BECAUSE INSTEAD OF GOING AND GOING AND GOING HE’S COMING AND COMING AND COMING AND ISN’T THAT HILARIOUS I THOUGHT IT WAS ANYWAY I’M SURE THERE’S SOME KIND OF HOMEWORK I SHOULD BE DOING BUT I JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE IT DARN IT BUT THAT’S ALRIGHT BECAUSE I CAN JUST TYPE TYPE TYPE ALLLLLLL DAY AND NEVER NEVER NEVER STOP BUT THEN YOU’D GET MAD AT ME AND I’D JUST LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THIS IS PROBABLY THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER WRITTEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BUT THAT’S OKAY IT MIGHT NOT BE BECAUSE I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT IT IS I’M WRITING SO… wait, I think I just stopped!!! Yay!! The sentence, the huge monster of a sentence, is DEAD!!! Oh no… I can feel it trying to come back, it’s like some really cheesy 1950’s horror sequel that features rubber bats on strings and never-moving scenery!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I think I can fight it, I think I can fight it… YES! It’s GONE!!! Yay! Alrighty, I’ll see you later, Fudge!


*I do not expect anyone to have any idea what I was speaking about... because I don't either. Thanks!

-JCTubtoy