Dropped

Sam could not stand Shirley Temple.

It did not matter that Shirley Temple was a child star from the thirties and almost irrelevant to the present day. Sam couldn’t stand the ‘cute’ lisp Shirley obviously put on; and she found Shirley’s round ‘cute’ face irritating to tears.

Sam insisted to herself there was nothing ‘cute’ about Shirley Temple and it annoyed her that others were not of the same mind.

Shirley Temple had totally ruined the story of A Little Princess. Sam was aware that this was not entirely the fault of the child movie star; the producers seemed to think that having a ‘cute’ girl in the role was more important than being true to the story. Sara Crewe’s father died in the book (though this was very sad it was not totally unbearable to the child reader) but in the movie that stupid, stupid Shirley Temple just had to chuck a tantrum, insisting her father was still alive, and lo and behold the father was somehow found alive in a hospital bed by the end of the movie!

Sam soon believed that making ‘cute’ little Shirley Temple happy made others around her happy and that was the most important thing.

Julie Do had been the Shirley Temple of Sam’s life since Year Four. In primary school, they were never in the same class; later Sam would wonder what would have happened if they were – would they still have awarded the Dux of Grade award each year to Julie?

Sam was not as ‘cute’ as Julie and she did not want to be. But it just almost didn’t seem fair. How did they calculate that Julie deserved the First award more than she did? Although Sam was aware it could all be quite fair and square, she still could not help but suspect that it was possible that it was because Julie was just so ‘cute’.

The primary school held an annual talent quest. Julie and her friends would do some ‘cute’ little dance number and they’d win the first prize every year.

Sam began to wonder if anybody else was beginning to feel annoyed by Julie and how ‘cute’ she was.

On the last day of Year Six, Sam was finally awarded with the Dux of Grade award but it was still behind Julie, who was awarded the Dux of School, so it wasn’t as satisfying as she expected it to be.

Sam remembered going up onto the stage to receive the award. She smiled politely and bowed her head slightly toward the principal in thanks as the school audience applauded. It wasn’t as if anything was a big surprise – they were notified of their award a week earlier in the post.

But Julie just could not resist being ‘cute’; upon being called on stage to receive the Dux of School, she threw her hands up to her face as if everything were a wonderful surprise.

The teachers loved it.

It was something Sam would remember two years later, while in Year Eight, on a certain day.

It was the day Sam watched Julie cry in class.

It was a Maths class in the second week of third term. The current topic was applied geometry. At the end of Year Seven, Sam’s grades were near the very top of the class. Now, they had fallen to somewhere around the middle, even approaching near the bottom for some topics. It was still the ‘smart class’ but she did not want to risk having to drop to the class just below.

The Maths teacher, Mrs. McKinnon, was calling out some names from a list. These names were people who had to leave the top class and move into the second one. Julie’s name was called.

At first, Julie appeared to handle the news well but as she began packing away her pencil case and textbook she started to cry.

Julie was not crying for attention; at least, Sam did not think so. It seemed to Sam that Julie was crying as if her worst reality had arrived and was somehow more awful than had been expected. The crying was like a desperate last attempt.

Sam was sitting a seat away and tried not to notice, out of courtesy to Julie. Maria sat between them. Maria always knew the right social etiquette. She began patting Julie and saying comforting words. Mrs. McKinnon came up to Julie too and tried to comfort her.

“It’s not as bad as you think, Julie, going into Mr. Brown’s class,” Mrs. McKinnon said. .

To Julie, it still meant she would be leaving the top class.

Sam felt grateful to Mrs. McKinnon. Mrs. McKinnon was not allowing Julie to stay just because she had cried.

Sam remembered an incident that occurred the year before, in Year Seven. Some students had tried to pick on her and tease her but she still would not cry. The teacher in that class had not been as kind or as observant as Mrs. McKinnon.

There was a moment when Julie tried to catch Sam’s eye. It was as if Julie wanted comfort, or something, from her. Sam did not know how to comfort Julie. She did not even like Julie. It was almost as if Julie wanted her to leave the classroom too; that she would feel better if it were not just her, but Sam also, leaving.

Sam said nothing. She pretended to look at the exercises in the textbook in front of her. She thought she caught Maria looking strangely at her at one point. Maria always liked Julie and thought Julie was really ‘cute’. Maria was puzzled that Sam did not seem to think so and interpreted Sam’s awkwardness as being cold. Maria did not go to the same primary school as Sam and Julie, Sam wanted to say to Maria, so she did not understand the history between them.

Sam felt as though she ought to feel satisfied but instead she felt sorry for Julie. Finally, her grades were shown to be better than Julie’s. This was high school now and Julie’s ‘cuteness’ couldn’t help her anymore but there was no longer any point to their rivalry. What small solace was there in beating your rival when you too were at the risk of being dropped into the second class? Sam was not near the top and the satisfaction felt hollow.

Sam felt that, at least, justice had finally been served.