The Mirror and the Date

“How do you I look?”

“You’re asking me, the mirror? The truth? Whoever it is who you’re trying to impress, it won’t work.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Don’t you think you look just a bit too dolled up? I mean, it isn’t you! How are you going to feel comfortable, especially if it’s a big date.”

“It is a big date. You know, this isn’t good for me. You shouldn’t be saying this kind of stuff just before I’m about to go out.”

“I’m just trying to protect you from getting hurt. When’s the last time you went out? Nine months ago?”

“It has been awhile. I just thought it was time I got out. It’s been a long time since Donnie left me.”

“And you want to repeat that fiasco all over again? My opinion, you’ll have a better time eating ice cream in the comfort of your living room with a dvd.”

“I do like the sound of that. But that’s what I do every weekend!”

“If it ain’t broke, no need to fix it!”

“I’m just worried. I’m not getting any younger by the minute. Look underneath my eyes, there are wrinkles there that weren’t there two years ago. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days alone if I can help it.”

“Well, you might have gotten yourself better prepared for this date then. Look at that bulging tummy! How big has your arse and thighs gotten in the past few months! You think he’s not going to see it?”

“This dress is the best thing I have to cover it! I can start going to gym if this date works out all right.”

“What if he expects sex? That dress won’t help if it’s across the room.”

“He’s not going to get sex. I don’t want to come across as a whore.”

“That’s a bit old fashioned, thinking like that isn’t it? Don’t men expect a liberated woman these days?”

‘Liberated? You mean like Sally who is so liberated she helped herself to my husband!”

“That’s why you don’t have friends anymore these days. Who would you say is your best friend now that Sally’s gone?”

“Hey, I’m glad Sally’s gone.”

“But not so glad she took Donnie with her. Didn’t you hear somewhere, the other day, that she’s pregnant too?”

“I don’t know what he sees in her. She’s not even that much better looking than me.”

“Well, she doesn’t have your beady eyes. And at least her teeth are straight. They looked okay when you were younger but I don’t know what it is, over the years, they’ve gotten more crooked. I hope you aren’t planning on smiling tonight.”

“But if I don’t smile, I look worse! He’s going to think I’m not having a good time.”

“Where did you meet this guy anyway? How do you know he’s not like Donnie and going to leave you for the next slut he sees?”

“Look, forget it. Mirror, you win. I’m not going!”

500 words