Decisions

Pain. My senses are failing me. I can feel them, even now, being crushed under the intense pain. Every nerve ending crying out, but this is the price. The price of being myself. Even being drowned under the agony of this decision, I don’t regret it. They are standing above me now, their laughs echoing around the chamber, mingling with the raw scent of my blood, and the screams ripping from my throat. My chest feels as if it is caving in, my lungs being squeezed together, making my breaths short and rapid, and my screams cut off into silence while I cry out with words unsaid. Pressure. All I feel from every side is the piercing agony that is tearing through my veins. I can hear them laughing at me still, questioning my choice. Am I stupid? Why couldn’t I just give in? Be like all the others who gave away who they really were, and became like them. All those others who chose different then me, they stand above me now, no free will, laughing at something they didn’t have the courage to do themselves. Why is it different now? They gave in. They could not take the pain that came with being their true selves. I lay here, now, writhing in pain that consumes my being, shakes my soul, and claws at my blood. Tortured, for choosing to endure. I am going to die, because I want to live.