Broken

         I was lying on the bed next to him, my face next to his chest. His arms were around me, keeping me close to him.
         I felt calm and relaxed. Happy and thrilled. Excited and exhilarated. All at the same time.
         “Thank you,” Evan whispered, kissing my forehead.
         “For what?” I asked, looking up at him. His eyes were shining so bright, I was reminded of looking at the stars.
         “Being with me,” he said, “Loving me.”
         “I will always love you,” I said, “Besides; I should be the one thanking you. I never thought someone would love me this way.”
         “Well, somebody is now. And they’re never going to stop.”
         I leaned up and kissed him, smiling.
         I returned to my comfort position of snuggling close to him. His body was warm—only more evidence that he was literally hot.
         “Ugh,” complained Evan, “This condom is making me itchy.”
         He sat up and stood up off of the bed.
         I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. I always liked looking up at people’s ceilings—I never knew why. It’s a good place to look to when you want to think for a few minutes.
         “Shit!” Evan suddenly exclaimed.
         “What?” I asked, my head snapping in Evan’s direction. He was standing next to the bed looking down at his lower area of specialty.
         He rubbed his forehead, muttering to himself, “No…it couldn’t have…”
         He was making me worried now.
         I sat up, pulling the sheets up to cover my upper body.
         “What is it?” I asked.
         No reply.
         “Evan!” I demanded, “What happened?”
         He turned around to face me. He looked worried.
         “I think the condom broke.”
         My eyebrows shot up and my eyes widened.
         “The, the, the…ca, condom…BROKE?” I exclaimed.
         “I think…”
         “You think?”
         “…Yeah…it did.”
         Oh my god.
         OH MY GOD!
         It probably broke when we were having sex.
         Which means…
         I could get PREGNANT!
         I wasn’t worried about those diseases. Evan and I were both virgins…had been virgins…and neither of us had any diseases or history of STDs in our families.
         But PREGNANCY?
         That was unavoidable. Only way to protect yourself from getting pregnant was to take birth control pills BEFORE you had sex or wear a condom when having sex.
         I didn’t take any pills. Evan tried using a condom during sex, but that clearly didn’t work out the way we planned.
         I COULD GET PREGNANT!
         I realized I wasn’t breathing and took in a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.
         “It’s going to be okay,” Evan said, sitting down on the bed beside me, “We’ll get through this.”
         “Uhuh…” I said, “Right…’course…”
         I closed my eyes, focusing on trying to relax. There was nothing I could do. I just had to sit and wait.
         SIT AND WAIT?
         I was supposed to just sit and wait for who knows how long and then go buy a pregnancy test from a Walgreens and take it and find out if I was pregnant or not?
         IS THAT POSSIBLE?
         Evan pulled me towards him in a hug. I lay my forehead on his shoulder, staring blankly at his chest.
         Things like this did not happen to girls like me.
         Apparently, they did.
         Evan’s hand slowly moved up and down my back as he held me in his arms, comforting me.
         “I love you,” he whispered, moving my head so he could kiss my forehead, and then allowing it to fall back to its resting position on his shoulder.
         I let myself fall into my old habit of thinking about different things to distract myself and leading myself on a wild goose chase through my head to the point where I completely forgot about the current situation.
         I believe Evan had some influence in this, because I often found myself thinking about my happy times spent with him, which cheered me up.
         “Hey, Evan—you home?” yelled a voice and the sound of the door being closed shut followed by footsteps on the wood floor could be heard.
         That voice did not cheer me up in the slightest way.
         It did, however, bring me back to reality and make me remember where I was and what just happened.
         After that shock returned, I realized I was sitting on Evan’s bed naked with a naked Evan when the somebody who just entered this apartment could easily walk into Evan’s room and find me and Evan naked.
         NOT GOOD.
         The footsteps got closer to the door.
         “Evan, are you in there?”
         I nudged Evan in the ribs. “Say something!” I yelled in a whisper.
         “Yeah,” Evan said, loud enough for the person outside the door to hear.
         “Can I come in?” asked the voice.
         My eyes widened in fear. I crossed my hands back and forth below my neck in desperation as a sign to Evan to do anything to keep that person out.
         “Ummm…hold on one second!” he yelled, getting off the bed.
         “That’s the best you can do?” I whispered in a confused, slightly annoyed, desperate tone. I slid off the bed and glanced around the room. Where were my clothes?
         Evan found the pile of clothes and threw me my bra and underwear. “Sorry,” he said, as he pulled on his boxers.
         I slipped my bra and underwear on. Evan tossed me my capris and shirt. I stepped into my capris as Evan tied the belt on his jeans.
         “Is somebody else in there?” asked the voice outside the door. “I thought I heard another voice.”
         I froze.
         It wouldn’t hurt if we let the person know I was here. As long as we were both dressed when the person saw us, the person would not suspect a thing…
         Hopefully…
         “I’m here,” I stated, “…Rachel….”
         “Oh,” said the person, “I didn’t think you were coming over today.”
         “Neither did I,” I replied, pulling my shirt over my head.
         “What is taking so long?” asked the voice, “Are you two doing something in there?”
         “NO!” Evan and I both exclaimed, a little too loudly.
         I heard the person’s hand touch the doorknob and I sprinted for the door.
         I pulled it open to reveal my head and gave Will a hopeful, innocent grin.
         “Hi!”
         “Hi to you too,” he replied, “Where’s Evan?”
         “Right here,” said Evan, appearing next to me. He opened the door just wide enough so Will could see the two of us, but not anything next to or around us.
         “The bed,” said Evan in my head.
         I remembered the sheets had been thrown a bit askew when we had been…having fun. If Will saw it, he would clearly be able to tell that either we fell asleep and one of us had a terrible nightmare and had a huge fit in our sleep or we…had fun.
         If I remembered correctly, the comforter for the bed was lying on the floor at the foot of the bed and half the sheets were falling off the bed.
         Will’s eyes surveyed us.
         “Nice shirt, bro,” he said to Evan. Evan looked down at his shirt.
         He was wearing my Science Olympiad t-shirt. I looked down at my own shirt and realized I was wearing his Lord of the Rings t-shirt inside out.
         It was obvious our shirts had been taken off at some time when we were in the room.
         Will raised his eyebrows. “What are you two hiding from me?” he asked, trying to look into the bedroom. I casually stepped to the side to block his view of the bed. “What are you not letting me see?”
         Seeing as he was a strong guy, he pushed me aside and walked into the bedroom, turning on the light.
         I turned around and saw he had a look of pure amusement on his face at the sight of the bed. It looked as if he was almost laughing.
         I glanced over at Evan, very unsure.
         This was too awkward.
         Too much had happened in too short a time.
         Will was going to say something and I didn’t want to hear it.
         I needed to get out of here.
         I shot Evan an apologetic look, muttered, “I’ve got to go,” and speed walked to the front door.
         I pulled open the door and was in the hallway, turning around to close the door, my hand on the doorknob, when a hand grabbed my arm.
         “Don’t go,” said Evan. His eyes were shining with a puppy dog look of desperation.
         “I feel like if you go now, I’m never going to see you again.”
         We had heard only so many tales of couples who had been in love, had sex, and broken up only a week or two later.
         “That’s not going to happen to us,” I said to him, “I promise.”
         He seemed to become a bit more relieved now.
         “Just give me time. A day or so. I just need a little time alone,” I stated.
         His eyes looked straight into mine for a minute.
         “Okay?”
         He nodded slowly and his hand released my arm.
         “Okay.”
         He stepped back and put his hand on the side of the door, as if he was about to close it, but he paused.
         “I love you.”
         “I love you more,” I said with the slightest hint of a smile. I turned away from the door and walked down the hallway, into the elevator, and into the next two days.
         Alone.